women Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Flavia Pennetta Wins U.S. Open, Promptly Announces Her Retirement
Flavia Pennetta took down Serena slayer Roberta Vinci in straight sets 7-6, 6-2 to win the U.S. Open final, the first singles Grand Slam title of her career. Immediately afterward the 33-year-old used her acceptance speech to announce her retirement from professional tennis. ...
Soccer Lady Has Absolutely Zero Aiming Skills, Scores Awful Own Goal
The announcer had the correct reaction to Helén Eke’s foot mysteriously turning into jelly upon contact with the ball: “Nej nej nej!” As did Eke, who attempted to tear off her ponytail, no doubt to disguise her appearance so that she could creep out of the stadium and hide under a rock for the next ...
Why Running Is A Huge Challenge For Somali Women
In June of 2013, Fadumo ran a half-marathon. Despite warm temperatures, she ran in a head scarf, long-sleeve shirt, pants and a knee-length skirt over the pants. Fadumo is Somali, and like 99 percent of Somalis, she is Muslim. She effused about how fit and healthy she felt, how proud for making it t...
Dutee Chand's Victory is Not A Victory For Fairness
The Court of Arbitration for Sports, the final word on disputes in Olympic sports, threw out the baby with the bathwater. I’m talking about the recent CAS decision to allow Indian sprinter Dutee Chand (above) to compete again. Chand was banned from competition last year because she is hyperandrogeni...
The Bucs Are Teaching Betches To Love Football Using Pinterest
Where my Tampa betches at? Hey girls, have you ever thought “Darn it, I love football, but I just don’t get it because I am a girl and dumb?” Well the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have got your number. This fall, they’re introducing RED, a movement to help women learn to love football via Pinterest and othe...
Classic Man: "Do Not Make Animal Noises At Women"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Yesterday, we addressed what to do if you’re on a flight and the pilot dies; today, a word of advice re: interacting with the ladies....
Canada Wins Gold In Women's Basketball But Who Cares
Canada, the moose-humping failed state to the north, won gold in women’s basketball at the Pan Am Games after beating the United States 81-73 Monday night. Whatever, hosers....
Scenes From The USWNT's Victory Parade
Earlier today, the world champion U.S. women’s national soccer team was fêted with a ticker-tape parade up Broadway and presented with the keys to the city in a ceremony at City Hall. It was the 206th parade up the “Canyon of Heroes” in New York’s history (full list here), and the crowd might’ve ske...
A Different Kind Of Party At The Women's World Cup
In May I was at a bar in Portland, Ore., with two of my brothers, watching the U.S. women’s national soccer team play the first of a series of pre-World Cup tune-ups. At first, we were the only people there—it was Mother’s Day, around brunchtime. A little after halftime, an older couple sat down at ...
Children’s Ages, Ranked
I think it’s about time we started previewing some shitty NFL teams, no? That’s right: The WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS series boots up again this month, which is good, because these teams are suckier than ever. If you wanna send in a rant about why your team sucks (emphasis on YOUR team … don’t send me some...
For 16 Minutes, Carli Lloyd Was The Greatest Player Of All Time
From the start, it felt like the fate of the United States women’s national team hinged not on talent or tactics or even luck, but on the answers to a series of open questions. Can Alex Morgan get healthy in time to contribute? What do we do with Christen Press and Sydney Leroux? What happens when w...
Videos: Fans React To USA World Cup Win
It’s becoming something of an American soccer tradition: the day after the match, we get to see how our countrymen and countrywomen cheered....
USWNT Shock Japan With Four Goals In Sixteen Minutes, Win World Cup
Soccer matches are 90 minutes long, and most of the time the ball is nowhere near a goal and 18 of the 22 players on the pitch are walking. But there are stretches—two minutes here, two seconds there—in which the players do unimaginable things with the ball and work with their teammates in a way tha...
Listen To All Five U.S. Goals As Called By Telemundo's Andrés Cantor
While Fox’s J.P. Dellacamera did an adequate job calling today’s Women’s World Cup final, an even more legendary soccer broadcaster called the match elsewhere on U.S. television: Andrés ¡GOOOOOL! Cantor, on Telemundo. Since you were probably watching on Fox, we’ve compiled all five U.S. goals as air...
U.S. Obliterating Japan, Now Up 4-0 As Lloyd Earns Hat Trick
Carli Lloyd is singlehandedly destroying Japan, having earned a hat trick just 15 minutes into today’s Women’s World Cup final with a long-range bomb that caught the keeper off her line. ...
Carli Lloyd Scores Twice In First Five Minutes As U.S. Start On Fire
Carli Lloyd has already scored twice in the first five minutes of tonight’s Women’s World Cup final against Japan, both off set plays. This is the start of which U.S. fans could only dream....
Here Is Your 2015 Women's World Cup Final Liveblog
Here we go. The United States women’s national team is taking on Japan in the World Cup final. Follow along as we yell and jingoistically babble our way through the game while the Americans attempt to Do The Whole Shit for the first time since 1999....
Helen Mirren Reads "Where The Sidewalk Ends" In Awesome Fox Promo
Fox’s Women’s World Cup coverage has been hit or miss, but this intro featuring Academy Award-winning actress Helen Mirren reading Shel Silverstein’s “Where the Sidewalk Ends” is simply outstanding. That’s Explosions In The Sky’s “Your Hand In Mine” as the music bed....
England Lose World Cup Semifinal In Most Heartbreaking Fashion Possible
For 90 minutes, England stood toe-to-toe with Japan. The match was tied 1-1, with each team having scored a penalty kick, and as the clock ticked into extra time, it looked like we would need 30 more minutes to decide the tie. And then, English defender Laura Bassett made a touch that will haunt her...