wood Page 66 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tiger Woods Will Speak About Something Besides His Line Of Titanium Drivers
Tiger Woods accepted an invitation to speak this weekend at "We Are One," the inauguration celebration being held this weekend at the Lincoln Memorial. The move is a surprise for the self-proclaimed "Cablanasian," who typically isn't programmed by Nike to participate involved in politics. No one's s...
The New York Jets And The Flaming Lesbian Catfight
Poor Woody Johnson. The Jets' owner has watched recently as his team capitulated, his quarterback underachieved, and his daughter had her hair set on fire by her lesbian girlfriend. Wait, what?...
Tiger Is Not Amused
Tiger Woods responds to comments made by his caddie, Steve Williams, about Phil Mickelson. Someone's not getting their usual tip, methinks. [NBCSports]...
Following Tiger ... For An Entire Year
So the other day I was sent this book, "Follow The Roar: Tailing Tiger On All 604 Holes of His Most Spectacular Season", by a sitcom writer appropriately named Bob Smiley. It's pretty great....
ND State Guard Scores 60, Sets School Free Throw Record
North Dakota State basketball player Ben Woodside had an incredible NCAA high 60 points in Friday's game. Amazing for sure, but only half of it was from action scoring....
Citi Field and Manchester United: Your Tax Dollars At Work
The government's bailout of our collapsing financial industry continues apace—you got your check, right?—but now that these companies are playing with our money, suddenly everyone is an expert. Some are suggesting that maybe the reason these firms are in trouble is because they like to waste money a...
Today Is A Day You Can Easily Find Yourself Blinded By Erin Andrewsness
First America's favorite sideline princess popped up on Dan Patrick's radio show, and playfully engaged in back-and-forth with her former ESPN co-worker about sideline horror stories, including the time that fleet-footed Joe Paterno blew right by her on the way to the locker room . Andrews also chat...
Former Arizona Wildcats Get Punchy In Europe
Have you heard the one about how in Russia they do things in the opposite way that you would expect them to happen elsewhere? It's a hilarious gag! It might also be the explanation for what went wrong in this Russian basketball game. A minor melee broke out, there was some slight pushing and shovin...
No Word If Kutcher Is Asking Them For Painkillers
If you thought appearing in a bunch of shitty movies and banging some waif who was barely girl-next-door hot 20 years ago would impress a group of high school freshman football players, dude, you'd be, like, totally wrong and shit! There's a fun report out from Star regarding Ashton Kutcher's latest...
Tiger Woods Caddies, Splits Early, Gets No Tip
Who was that caddying at Torrey Pines on Monday? Tiger Woods? Yep, it's true. He was lugging the clubs for 59-year-old New Jersey pressman John Abel, to whom I would have paid a princely amount to just once say to Tiger: "I said a five-iron, dumbass!" That would have ruled. Actually when I say "lugg...
It's A Sad Day For Obscure Movies You Don't Care About
I know I've been writing a lot this week, and I swear, my actual job really does keep me plenty busy, but Daulerio informed me of an impending change at Deadspin that I had to weigh in on. In about 15 minutes, Gawker Media is introducing automated, ad-produced sponsors posts. That means: No more mov...
Tiger Woods' Knee Injury Did Not Hinder His Baby-Making Ability
Those of you wondering when Tiger Woods and his wife Elin will populate the world with another Swedecaublasian can stop: late winter. Woods made the blessed announcement on his personal website, which he's updated more frequently due to his season-ending surgery as either a way to continuously keep ...
Synchronized Swimmer Sinks Slowly; Silly Swimmer!
We've been shopping our script about a narcoleptic synchronized swimmer for years to no avail; it's an uplifting story, but you know how much it costs to make a water-based film. However, we've dusted off the script and sent it to our agent again after hearing that one of the Japanese synchronized s...
Tiger Woods Is Jesus
At least according to a new EA Sports commercial for his video game where El Tigre walks on water—into a pond— and plays his ball from a lilly pad. The most amazing thing about this commercial is not necessarily that it was made but that EA is now watching YouTube clips and responding to people who...
Leitch Would Love Punt Returner Chris Carr
Chris Carr played three years with the Raiders before heading to Tennessee for a chance to makethe Titans' club as a special-teamer. He even had two punt returns in an exhibition game against his former team last night. But that's not why we care. No, we care because among Carr's other varied inter...
The PGA Championship Is Off and Running
The first players are finishing their rounds at Oakland Hills Country Club outside of Detroit. Somewhere on his island kingdom in Florida Tiger Woods is not even bothering to watch. Meanwhile golf fans who are stuck at their desks would do anything to be able to skip out of work and listen to the d...
NFL To Charles Woodson: Only We Can Endorse Alcohol
Three new things I learned after hearing about this story: (1) NFL cornerback Charles Woodson has come out with his own wine called "Twentyfour." (2) Charles Woodson still plays football. And (3) NFL players aren't allowed to endorse alcohol....
Broncos Stink Like A Flower That Stinks Really Bad
Here's a game for you the next time you pick up the sports section of a newspaper. (If people still do that these days. Zing! High five!) Find their local columnist and count how many consecutive one-sentence paragraphs that lead off their article. Today, it's Woody Paige, and the count comes in at ...
Hunter S. Thompson, Those Old ESPN Columns And Large Wads Of Cocaine
Honestly, I had forgotten that Hunter S. Thompson had written for Page 2 until I watched "Gonzo," the new documentary about Mr. Duke (produced by my old pal Mark Cuban). I'm pretty embarrassed to have forgotten it; it's like I blocked it out. I suspect many of you feel the same way; those columns ...
Tiger Woods Still on Track to be a Billionaire by 2011
Even with the injured knee. This will make Woods the first sports billionaire. At least he doesn't have a hot swedish wife, or an island home, or a huge yacht that costs more than the GNP of Moldova. Then it might be kind of hard to root for the guy to make putts over man-boobed fifty year olds....