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Wrestlemania Kicks Off In Front Of Half-Empty Jerry World After Ticketing Mishap [UPDATE]
Irate fans chanted “LET US IN! LET US IN!” as a stadium ticketing issue kept tens of thousands of pro wrestling fans from entering the stadium in Dallas before tonight’s Wrestlemania kicked off at 6 p.m. local time....

Figure Skating Is Happening!
What a delightful coincidence: The World Figure Skating Championships are currently ongoing in Boston! ...

The USMNT Are Who We Thought They Were
The United States Men’s National Team beat the pants off of Guatemala 4-0 tonight, avoiding the disaster scenario and setting themselves up to advance to the final round of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying. But while the victory was comprehensive, there were plenty of worrying signs for the USMNT’s fut...

Guy Falls At The Start, Gets Trampled, And Wins World Half Marathon Championship
Now this is how to win the World Half Marathon Championship. Kenyan ace Geoffrey Kamworor’s ripping victory in 59:10 (that’s averaging four minutes and 30 seconds per mile for 13.1 miles) at Sunday’s race in Cardiff, Wales, is a thing of physiological wonder. That any human could scissor his legs ov...

The USMNT Better Goddamn Beat Guatemala
The United States Men’s National Team is in danger of failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. If it happened, it would be the first time the USMNT missed the world’s greatest sporting event since Mexico in 1986. If they lose to Guatemala Tuesday night, they’ll need an awful lot of help from Saint...

Jurgen Klinsmann Blew It
The United States Men’s National Team will probably qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. Yes, they are trailing Guatemala and Trinidad and Tobago in the Group C standings. Yes, they have played conservatively without the defensive ability to make that style work. A day after the U.S. got humili...

James Rodríguez Is Out To Prove He's Still The Shit
Nobody in Madrid much likes Colombian superstar James Rodríguez. His teammates don’t like him, his coach doesn’t like him, the fans don’t like him, the president doesn’t like him, even the local cops don’t like him. At a career crossroad of sorts, with his talent unquestioned but his dedication and ...

How To Complain Without Sounding Like A Brat
Let us begin with the obvious: Complaining is great. It is the backbone of human civilization, complaining. “To exchange dissatisfactions is to acknowledge another person’s existence, and to share rueful mutual sympathy at the sometimes tremendously irritating predicament of having been born,” wrote...

Here Come The Rosters And Jerseys For The World Cup Of Hockey
The World Cup of Hockey, which will see eight national (sort of) teams face off in Toronto in September for a tournament that should be heavy on NHLers, excitement, and totally acceptable obnoxious jingoism. (Fuck you, Canada! Your exchange rates are currently unfavorable for you!)...

Chinese Runners Allegedly Revealed State-Sponsored Doping In 1995, IAAF Suspicious
In 1993, the Chinese women’s track team ran crazy; they set insane world records, times so fast, over such a range of distances with almost no recovery in between that, well, they were widely believed to be dirty. The women themselves admitted doping in 1995, but we’re just seeing the evidence now. ...

U.S. Women's National Team Sued By U.S. Soccer Federation
The United States Soccer Federation sued the union representing Women’s National Team members in federal court Wednesday, an action sure to further fray the already strained bond between the two groups....

Goku Doppelgänger Ivan Rakitić Is A Big Hit In Japan
Barcelona are currently in Japan for the Club World Cup, and though the locals had to be disappointed that neither Lionel Messi or Neymar were fit enough to make an appearance in the team’s first game, they discovered a new favorite player thanks to Ivan Rakitić’s halfway resemblance to Dragon Ball ...

Abby Wambach Exits To Standing Ovation As USWNT Lose At Home For First Time Since 2004
Abby Wambach left her final United States Women’s National Team game tonight to a thunderous standing ovation, but was unable to score the storybook goal her teammates were so desperately trying to assist. The USWNT’s 1-0 loss to China in New Orleans—coming at the end of their long World Cup victory...

Report: FBI Investigating Sepp Blatter's Role In $100 Million Bribery Case
According to a new report from BBC Sport, the FBI is looking into Sepp Blatter’s role in a $100 million bribe paid to FIFA by now-defunct sports marketing company ISL. Former FIFA executive Joao Havelange apparently wrote in a letter to the FBI that Blatter was well aware of the corruption within FI...

The United States Cap-Tied Two Very Good Dual Nationals Last Night
The United States started off their World Cup Qualifying campaign in St. Louis last night with a 6-1 win against Caribbean minnows St. Vincent and the Grenadines. The result was as expected and there’s nothing substantial to be gleaned from how the team played, aside from the fact that they allowed ...

President Of German Soccer Association Resigns Amid World Cup Bribery Scandal
DFB President Wolfgang Niersbach has resigned from his post today. While he’s maintained his and his organization’s innocence amid allegations that German soccer officials bought votes in order to win World Cup hosting rights in 2006, Niersbach has decided to take “political responsibility” for the ...

Nearly Twice As Many People As Live In Kansas City Attended The Royals' Parade
Kansas City mayor Sly James estimated that 800,000 people turned out to watch the Royals’ championship parade (at least one police sergeant thought it was higher), which is even more impressive when you realize that Kansas City’s population is just 470,000. But while it’s one thing to hear a number ...

Jonny Gomes Gives Obnoxious, Wonderful Victory Speech At Royals' World Series Parade
Jonny Gomes didn’t have a single plate appearance in the Royals’ postseason run, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t preen and shout at the team’s World Series parade today. Give him a hell yeah, brother....