world Page 205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maradona's Pot To Piss In Now Classy As All Get-Out
The Argentine boss demanded the standard toilets in his South Africa suite be replaced with two of "The World's Best Toilet Seat," just $449.95. Why two? One for the cocaine, obviously. [Daily Mail]...
Diarra Diarrhea Costs France A Midfielder
Lassana Diarra will miss the World Cup with what's euphemistically being called "a stomach ailment" or "intestinal pains." It must have been contagious when the entire team nearly shit the bed against Ireland. [AP]...
World Cup Profile: USA
Today, it's the turn of those lovely American chaps, who will be seriously attempting to urinate on England's chips during the group stages. But can they do it? And, more importantly, who ARE these people? Read on to find out…...
Last Night's Winner: The Rest Of The NFC North
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Tarvaris Jackson's chances of starting, which look pretty bright since Brett Favre has hitched his latest comeback to the hopes of a long-shot college baseball team....
Watch Nike's Newest Bloated, Overwrought, Meta-Referential But Sorta Awesome World Cup Commercial
In case you haven't noticed, soccer's been popping up around here with alarming frequency. It's because of the World Cup, mostly. The World Cup is sort of a big deal, like the World Baseball Classic, but exciting....
All Of Roger Clemens' Physical Gifts Can Be Purchased In This Mystery Discount Box
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Head of English Soccer Says Spain and Russia Are Trying to Bribe World Cup Referees
Lord Triesman made the claim during a conversation with his ex-mistress, which she happened to be secretly recording. Between Triesman and Gordon Brown, prominent British officials should go ahead and just assume all their private tirades are being taped....
TV People Confuse World Cup Host Country With Similarly Named Landmass
A reader sends this screengrab, from which we can deduce that either 1.) the poor kid doing the chyrons mixed up his large, Southern Hemispheric tracts of land or 2.) South Africa just won a war that no one knew about....
World Cup Email Scam Promises The Most Awesome Party Ever
A forwarded email promises a South Africa private beach party with champagne and lobster, lions and elephants, and a DJ spinning house tunes who also carries a gun in case the wild beasts get out of hand. Holy shit, please be real....
Last Night's Winner: Bob Bradley's Blamelessness
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Bob Bradley's exclusion of Charlie Davies from the World Cup roster, which, thanks to Davies's overly cautious Ligue 1 side, isn't Bradley's fault....
World Cup Trash Talk Begins: Lionel Messi Is Coming For Your Women
We're about month away from the start of Soccerpocalypse 2010 and that means it's time for entire nations to start trading highly personal insults. Yes, even attempted seduction of another players ex-wife is fair game here....
Today In World Cup Jingoism
"Our famous prayer is that the Americans don't make the second round," says South Africa's police commissioner, who doesn't want to deal with the headache of making sure President Obama doesn't get killed, should he visit. Thanks? [NYTimes]...
Abbey Clancy Makes Her World Cup Prediction…
For those of you who prefer not to waste valuable shopping time reading up on the latest football relationships, Abbey Clancy is the lucky model who has long been on the receiving end of Peter Crouch's deep midnight kisses....
A Short Video About The Snazzy New World Cup Ball
Of course, when football was first invented, it was probably played using sheep bladders wrapped in velvet cloaks, or old fishermen skulls....
New USA Kit Looks Good On A Pretty Lady
Today, Nike unveiled the USA's World Cup home jersey. Solid, if unspectacular. To make it more palatable, here it is on a Playboy model. [Playboy] (Page is SFW, just don't click on anything.)...
England To Spend World Cup Build Up Sleeping In Tents
In a move commonly known as "the reverse Michael Jackson," England squad members will spend the build up to the World Cup sleeping in strange tents that have less oxygen in them than normal tents....
Let's Shut Down MLS For A Little Bit
USA Soccer's plan was going so well. Let all the Euro players injure themselves in the lead-up to the world cup, and head to South Africa with the only healthy squad. So much for that, Brian Ching....
Americans Ready To Embrace Soccer For 16th Consecutive Year
Yep, the nation's quadrennial fascination with the strange sport it doesn't understand means that once again the U.S. is this close to fully embracing the beautiful game. Any year now.... [CNN]...
David Beckham Tears Achilles, Will Miss Opportunity To Vomit On The Field In Another World Cup
Beckham snapped his left achilles and will not get a chance to sit on England's bench in South Africa. Stiff upper lip, though: "The romantic notion of him seizing the day and inspiring England to glory was poppycock." [Guardian]...
Jackie Gleason Shows Us The Proper Way To Bomb On TV: With Self-Deprecation And Booze
In 1961, Jackie Gleason hosted a game show on CBS titled You're In The Picture. It was a precursor to The Jay Leno Show and The Marriage Ref in that it was universally reviled....