world Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heroic Cycling World Champion Wins After Fixing His Own Dislocated Shoulder, Only For Officials To DQ Him Over Bullshit Rule Violation
The cycling world championships have been replete with heartbreak, and today provided the coup de grâce....
Cyclist Breaks Down After Having The Worst Luck Imaginable During Race
Germán Darió Gómez Becerra fell victim to a cruel fate at the UCI Road World Championships in Yorkshire. The 18-year-old represented Colombia in the junior men’s road race Thursday and was riding with a reduced pack about 80 kilometers from the finish when he suffered a crippling mechanical issue as...
Emmanuel Sanders Says The Broncos Are "Living In A World Of Suck"
Broncos receiver Emmanuel Sanders was understandably not pleased after Sunday’s 27-16 loss against the Packers. In his postgame conversation with reporters he gave quite an honest assessment of just how he feels being on a team that’s started the season going 0-3....
Luc Longley Mad That Spain Keeps Getting "Kissed On The Dick By The Basketball Gods"
Australia just lost a tough game to Spain in the semifinals of the FIBA World Cup. The Boomers led most of the way, but lost their lead at the end of regulation, thanks in part to a few dodgy calls that went against them. They eventually lost in double-overtime, 95-88....
Big Boban Engulfs Donovan Mitchell On Jump Ball
Team USA lost to Serbia, 94-89, in a consolation round matchup at the FIBA World Cup today, ensuring their worst-ever finish at any international tournament. The underperformance of an talent-depleted national team is less interesting to me than the physical prowess of one of basketball’s very large...
Team USA Embarrasses Itself At FIBA World Cup, Jerry Colangelo Follows Suit
Team USA lost its second straight FIBA World Cup game this morning in China, falling 94-89 to Serbia in a fifth-place consolation game, after yesterday’s embarrassing loss to France eliminated the American team from championship contention. Now the team cannot finish higher than seventh place in the...
Team USA Dropkicked Out Of World Cup By Rudy Gobert And ... Frank Ntilikina?
Team USA had a seven-point lead over France with just under eight minutes to play in today’s FIBA World Cup quarterfinal game. From that point on, France went on a 22-5 run and advanced to the tournament semi-finals while leaving Team USA behind to make a new life for themselves in the trash. ...
Hong Kong Soccer Fans Turn Their Backs And Boo Chinese National Anthem
Fans at Hong Kong Stadium turned their backs on the Chinese national anthem prior to a World Cup qualifying match against Iran on Tuesday, bringing the long-running pro-democracy protests to the sporting world, per the Associated Press. The fans not only turned their backs, but also held up signs wi...
FIBA Officials Missed A Call So Bad They Got Kicked Out Of The World Cup And Inspired A Ferocious Coach Meltdown
Lithuania’s run at the FIBA World Cup ended this morning against the Dominican Republic, though their chances of advancing through the second group stage were killed on Saturday when they lost to France by three points. The nature of that loss was highly controversial....
Giannis's Shoulders Not Big Enough To Carry Everyone; Team USA Cruises Past Greece
The problem with simply double-teaming Giannis Antetokounmpo or clogging the paint to thwart him is that when the ball is not in his superhuman hands, it’s usually in Khris Middleton’s very capable hands or Brook Lopez’s or Eric Bledsoe’s, or hell, Pat Connaughton’s. ...
Man Who Was Ejected From World Series Of Poker For Nudity And Shoe-Throwing Arrested On Terrorism Charges
Earlier this summer at the World Series of Poker Main Event in Las Vegas, a man was kicked out of the tournament and forced to forfeit his $10,000 buy-in during the first level of play for some egregious antics. Those antics included going all-in blind on the first hand, pulling his pants down, show...
Brazilian Coach Gleefully Shit-Talks Giannis Antetokounmpo After Anderson Varejão Destroys Greece
A Brazilian team of Guys—led by Anderson Varejão and Leandro Barbosa—took down the reigning MVP in the group stage of the FIBA World Cup in China on Tuesday, and winning head coach Aleksandar Petrovic will never let the Greek Freak hear the end of it. ...
Team USA Escaped With A Win Over Turkey, But It May Have Cost Them Jayson Tatum's Ankle
Team USA should’ve lost to Turkey in their second group-stage game today at the FIBA World Cup, and though they were handed a 93-92 win by some last-second incompetence, the victory may have come at a price. On the very last play of overtime, Jayson Tatum sprained his ankle after throwing a pass and...
I Broke The Official Jeremy Renner App By Posting The Word "Porno" On It
The Butterfly Effect is the idea that a solitary flap of a butterfly’s wings will eventually result in a hurricane halfway across the globe. In the interests of moving forward as a society, and because I don’t think I’ve seen a butterfly in, like, four years, I believe it is time to retire this term...
Australians Fall Madly In Love With Brook Lopez, As Is Natural
Nothing was especially exciting about Team USA’s win over Canada in Sydney Sunday night, but the exhibition game did offer one revelation: Milwaukee Bucks center Brook Lopez is deeply, inexplicably beloved in Australia....
Patty Mills Casually Tosses Team USA On The Barbie, Snaps Their 78-Game Winning Streak
Prior to Team USA’s game against Australia on Friday, Kemba Walker told an Australian reporter that there was a lot of room for growth within the team, and that their previous performance was perhaps not as great as some players thought it was. The quote was the kind of thing a veteran player says t...
Kyle Kuzma Demonstrates Beautiful Touch As He Scores On His Own Basket
Team USA is down to 13 players, who are all in contention for the final 12-man roster. With the FIBA World Cup just 10 days away, the squad played the first of a two-game exhibition against Australia on Thursday, and won comfortably, 102-86. During the first quarter, Donovan Mitchell skied for an im...
Little Leaguer On Pirates Game: “Not A Lot Of People Here”
Poor Pittsburgh. They have this gorgeous stadium, maybe the best in baseball, and yet the team is next-to-last in the National League after going 7-28 since the All-Star Break. They rank 24th in attendance with 19,692 fans a game. And now children are ragging on that fact!...
Craig Kimbrel Had To Pitch In A Ballpark Of Little Leaguers Mocking Him
The Cubs’ 7-1 win over the Pirates in Williamsport, Penn., on Sunday night wasn’t the tightest of ballgames, but the Little Leaguers in attendance had fun all the way through the end. In the ninth inning, with the game far out of reach and Craig Kimbrel on just to get some reps after coming off the ...
Team USA Routed In Bleak Scrimmage Against D-League Crew
Team USA still needs to winnow its pool of 15 finalists down to 12 before the FIBA World Cup begins on September 1. No one else is getting added to this team, but perhaps they should burn down the roster and start all over....