x Page 1035 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Twins Make Final, Headlong Dash Toward AL Central Title
With the Twins' most crucial three-game series of the season looming on Monday night, the Minneapolis Pioneer Press ran a column with the following headline: It's Not Likely That The Twins Can Sweep Their Final Two Series. That's the spirit, Twin Cities! But despite themselves, Minnesota fans find t...

Red Sox Clinch Playoffs, Celebrate Accordingly
Question for the day: Is the pictured celebration by the Red Sox on Tuesday really warranted, considering that all they clinched was a wild-card playoff berth? Sure, it's the playoffs, and that's cause for happiness, I suppose. But you didn't even win your division (although technically they still c...

Give Him Liberty, Or Give Him Beer: Rowdy Fan Says He Was 'Striking Back For Red Sox Nation'
When his colonial ancestors were being oppressed by a larger, more formidable power, they fought back the only way they knew how; with bold, guerrilla tactics. Could Red Sox fan Chris Sciesinski do any less? Trapped behind enemy lines at Tropicana Field, taunted and scorned beyond all reason by Tamp...

Sock it To Me, Sir Alex
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Sir Alex Ferguson can go fuck himself. Okay, literally, that might be a bit of a tall order, but he does have a saggy set of B-cups so he could at least give himself a good feeling up. I mean this with the utmost respect, of course—the guy h...

The Princess Diaries: Deadspin Ladies Deconstruct Erin Andrews
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

Excerpt: "Boys Will Be Boys" By Jeff Pearlman
"Boys Will Be Boys", Jeff Pearlman's fascinating account of the glory days of the Cowboys dynasty is making the media rounds this week and we will happily join in to promote it. It is ridiculously entertaining. Yes, Charles Haley is the star, but there is so much more to it than just his dong-flappi...

Could There Be A More Fitting Metaphor For The AL East Race?
Don't tase Boston's divisional title chances, bro! If this isn't a sign from the baseball gods that the race is over in the East, I don't know what is. This Red Sox fan tried to leap the dugout and run onto the field at the Trop on Wednesday, but was met with Epic Failure: security grabbed him, and ...

Big Papi's Bed Will End Homelessness, Achieve Peace In The Middle East
I have always dreamed of sleeping in Big Papi's bed, but until now I never thought that it could become a reality. Now it's here; the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own Big Papi's bed. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that sleeping there would be like nestling into a warm, comforting hug by t...

Tyler Thigpen Will Guide The Chiefs To Victory Right After He Finishes Making Gentle Back Door Love To This Skeleton
What better way to kick off your Wednesday evening then to have Chiefs' new starting quarterback Tyler Thigpen mock rear-entering a skeletal model. Maybe Coastal Carolina University had just recently generated enough funding to support a human anatomy class and he was just overly excited. Remember, ...

Shaun Alexander, Cedric Benson Both Seeking Reclamation Project Status In Detroit
How bad has it been for the former NFL MVP and the former drunk boater? The Lions are bringing both running backs in for workouts now. Okay, well, that's not so bad. Both guys have a chance to sign with an NFL team, right? Not so much. Why not? According to MLive: "A signing of any player is not im...

Mock The Mohawk At Your Own Peril
Silly? Yes; especially when you consider that manager Joe Maddon is wearing one. But the Rays' new mohawk look seems to have mystical powers; a force that the Boston Red Sox were not able to overcome on Tuesday. The Rays broke free from a virtual tie with Boston atop the standings with a 2-1 win at ...

Curt Schilling Puts the Moves on Cindy McCain?
Everyone knows that Curt Schilling loves John McCain. But can the Republican presidential nominee trust the Red Sox pitcher when it comes to something much more important than an election...his wife? At a recent charity event, Curt Schilling confused Cindy McCain with his wife and held hands with h...

Universe Rights Itself, Soon Should Be Completely Normal
Like in the Michael Douglas film Falling Down, Joe Maddon is wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt and demanding breakfast at McDonald's, even though its past 11:30. Sorry Joe. We're back where we were in July 24; the Red Sox and Rays, tied for first in the East. Only this time Boston clearly has mome...

Marquez Knocks Out Casamayor In the Eleventh
Juan Manuel Marquez is the new linear champion of the lightweight division after dominating Ring Magazine champ Joel Casamayor last night in Las Vegas. Once the 35 year-old got comfortable in the ring you never would have known he was coming up in weight to challenge the division's champion. Marque...

Guzman-Campbell Reportedly Called Off
Boxingscene.com is reporting that tonight's Showtime main event between Nate Campbell and Joan Guzman has been called off. Earlier Guzman failed to make the 135 pound weight limit, leading to reports that the two would fight without the Campbell's titles at stake. What's especially odd about the sit...

Casamayor and Marquez Clash For the Title, Guzman Fails to Make Weight
For the second straight Saturday night the spotlight shines on the always entertaining lightweight division with what was supposed to be a pair of title fights. Unfortunately Joan Guzman was unable to make weight in his quest to unseat Nate Campbell. The two will still headline Showtime's impressiv...

I Don't Care What They Say I Can't Stay In A World Without Tom ... Or Can I?
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

The Papelbon Dirty Dancing Videos Are Here. Oh, Man
If the Red Sox fail to win the East this season — and let's face it, it's looking more and more doubtful — we can probably blame this. One is never really prepared for a video of Jonathan Papelbon at a high school talent show performing Dirty Dancing routines in drag; it's just a shock to the system...

Alex Smith And The Series Of Unfortunate Events
It appears that Alex Smith's time as a San Francisco 49er has come to an end. The star that shone so brightly for, say, about five-and-a-half quarters in 2006, was extinguished on Tuesday when it was learned that the quarterback has a broken bone in his shoulder and would be placed on injured reserv...

Hurricane Ike Takes Arkansas-Texas Game As College Football Victim?
Arkansas and Texas are set to play this weekend in Austin. This was to be Bobby Petrino's first step outside Razorback Stadium and also his first game against a team that had a pulse. But then came Hurricane Ike. The postponement of the game hasn't yet been officially announced but it's likely enoug...