x Page 642 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barry Bonds Says It's Insane That Anyone Isn't Rooting For A-Rod
Barry Bonds’s comments in this great USA Today article on how he’s rooting for Alex Rodriguez could easily be read as a bit of projection. When Bonds asks how MLB and baseball fans could possibly ever root against one of its greatest players achieving something great, it’s a question I’m sure he’s a...
David Ortiz Greets Jacoby Ellsbury: "Hey, Rich Bitch"
David Ortiz took a second to mess with a couple of his former teammates, as the Yankees clobbered the Red Sox last night. Big Papi wiggled his fingers at Stephen Drew and called out to Jacoby Ellsbury with a “Hey, rich bitch!”—likely a reference to the 7-year, $153 million contract that lured Ellsb...
Katie Nolan Devastates Co-Worker's Horrible Blog On <i>Garbage Time</i>
Fox Sports personality and Garbage Time host Katie Nolan was among the first to call bullshit on this “How To Land A Husband At The Masters” post that appeared on co-worker Clay Travis’s Fox-owned Outkick The Coverage blog when it popped up last week. That the outspoken and generally awesome Nolan ...
11 Things Longer Than Last Night's Sox-Yanks Game But That Felt Shorter
Last night’s offensively-, technologically-, and spermatozoaically-deficient 19-inning Red Sox-Yankees game officially clocked in at 6:49, but in reality the broadcast with festivities, anthems, et cetera lasted around seven hours. For viewers, though, the slogging despair of watching the longest R...
Adrian Beltre Gets Helmet Stolen, Scares Teammate Half To Death
Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre hit a solo homer against the A’s yesterday. As usual, his baseball life partner, Elvis Andrus, was there to mess with him when he returned to the dugout. ...
Alex Rodriguez Is One Homer Closer To Costing The Yankees $6 Million
It had really only been 22 at-bats since Alex Rodriguez last homered, but a season-long suspension has a funny way of warping baseball time, and of fogging memories. “I felt like I needed Google Maps to round the bases,” Rodriguez said. “It’s been a long, long time.” ...
<i>The Way of the Dragon </i>Is A Stone-Cold Classic For That One Fight Alone
There used to be this DVD store in the Times Square subway station. Maybe it's still there. Probably not. Why was there ever a DVD store in the Times Square subway station? Some things just make no sense. But one day, maybe seven or eight years ago, I was walking through that hellmouth, and I saw ...
Adam Eaton's Diving Catch Will Be Hard To Top
We’re not even a week into the 2015 baseball season, but I feel confident saying that it’s going to be very hard for any outfielder to make a catch this season that will top what White Sox center fielder Adam Eaton did today. ...
Why Soccer's Most Popular Advanced Stat Kind Of Sucks
Here's some free advanced soccer analytics: .095....
How The Hell Do I Clean A Pair Of Headphones?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Don't Believe The Hype: Mayweather-Pacquiao Is Not Good Vs. Evil
The many failings of Floyd Mayweather to follow the basic rules on how to be a good human being are well documented. He’s a serial woman beater who once evicted his father and pleaded no contest to threatening his children. His odiousness speaks for itself. But his competitor, Manny Pacquiao, is bus...
Jonathan Papelbon Talks Horses And Dick-Sucking Holes
Whenever the Red Sox and Phillies play, someone sticks a recorder in Jonathan Papelbon’s face and uses his thoughts on both teams as an angle to get through the series. (Shane Victorino just isn’t as brash.) Before Wednesday’s game, the Phillies closer was direct to the Boston Globe about his conne...
Report: Former NFL Receiver Dwight Jones Charged With Animal Cruelty
Police charged former NFL receiver Dwight Jones with felony killing an animal by starvation Monday after they found one dead dog and another starved dog in his yard, per the Times-News....
Just Prince Fielder, Doing Some Squats With A Rougned On His Back
Prince Fielder’s new pregame workout routine sure looks like a lot of fun....
No One Tells You About The Banana Peels: My Very Brief Career In Surgery
It started with a banana peel....
Player Goes Full Luis Suárez, Bites The Shit Out Of Opponent's Shoulder
Damn, Club Tijuana midfielder Juan Arango’s bite this weekend might be even worse than any of bite master Luis Suárez’s. On the angle you see above, you really get a good look at just how much flesh Arango’s teeth get ahold of, as well as the calmness on his face as he jogs away....
Ned Yost Warns Trainer Not To Lose His ALCS Ring During Rectal Exams
The Kansas City Royals received their 2014 AL Championship rings before opening the season against the White Sox yesterday, and manager Ned Yost had some helpful advice for the team’s head athletic trainer. ...
Aaron Harang's Eyes Implanted Into Various MLB Players' Faces
Deadspin readers have overwhelmingly demanded to know what it would look like if various major leaguers had pitcher Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. In the interest of service to you, the reader, we present various major leaguers with Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. ...
Can You Pass The F.B.I.'s Fitness Exam?
For the first time in 16 years, the F.B.I. is checking to make sure all its agents stay in some semblance of shape. While all agents are required to go through a fairly vigorous fitness exam when they first join the bureau, the New York Times reports that the F.B.I. ended their once-mandatory annual...
They're Gonna Crucify Me: A Heathen's Guide To Easter
Life gets more complicated and demanding as you become an adult. Children are not expected to know much of anything—or to understand the meaning and significance of stuff, or to buy their own beer—so long as they interact with the world sweetly and cutely, and from time to time throw in an unprom...