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The Worst Part Of Xavier's Loss Is No More Matt Stainbrook
America's favorite Uber driver was dominant against Arizona tonight, scoring 17 points and claiming 10 rebounds. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to lead the Musketeers to a win. While Arizona deservedly moves on to the Elite Eight, we mourn the end of goofy-looking Matt Stainbrook's college care...
Woman Who Protested Oregon Accessing Rape Victim's Records: I'm Fired
A woman who spoke out against the University of Oregon after it accessed the counseling records of a student who said she was raped by several basketball players has been let go, according to an email she sent to colleagues today. In the email, which was first obtained by the Register-Guard, Karen...
Rejoice! Alonzo Mourning Says "Who Wants To Sex Mutombo?" Happened!
Today is a great day! It's been almost a year since Dikembe Mutombo went on Highly Questionable and shot down one of the greatest urban legends in sports, denying that he ever walked into a club and shouted, "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" Today, those of us who have held on to the hope that Mutombo was...
<i>Chocolate </i>Is A Martial-Arts Classic If You Just Focus On The Kicking
So Chocolate is not Chocolat, the 2000 Johnny Depp/Juliet Binoche movie where people eat chocolate from a particular shop and it somehow makes them fall in love with each other. Chocolat is the sort of movie where you know it takes place in France because people speak English in French accents. It w...
Alex Rodriguez Talking Baseball Is Great
Ken Rosenthal has a story on Yankees shortstop Didi Gregorius wowing his new teammates with his defensive prowess, which is especially impressive considering they've had a pylon at short for the last two decades. But the real gold comes from Alex Rodriguez, who gives his impressions of Gregorius in ...
How to Talk To Your New Girlfriend About Your Ex
First and foremost, congratulations on the decision to put your fuck parts together with another person's fuck parts in a more meaningful way than you were putting fuck parts together with others during the abysmal slog through Tinder you've been on since your break-up. Things are probably great: yo...
José Abreu Is Baseball's Most Interesting Boring Star
Every now and then a sportswriter, worrying over why baseball isn't as popular with the youngs as it once was/could be, will cite the blandness of the modern star as one of the great problems facing the game. Recently, for instance, the Boston Globe's Nick Cafardo cited Reggie Jackson, Barry Bonds, ...
Rex Ryan, Please Stop Body-Shaming Your Beautiful Brother
According to Fox Sports' Mike Garafolo, Buffalo Bills head coach Rex Ryan was talking some mess about the appearance of his brother, Saints defensive coordinator Rob Ryan....
Pliny The Elder And Blind Pig: Trophy Beers Within Everyone's Grasp
First off, let me introduce myself: My name is Mike, and I have been given the dubious honor of being named Drunkspin's West Coast Beer Correspondent, which means that every now and then you'll see some writing on a beer that Will Gordon either can't get up in Massachusetts, or can't, like, get up...
Villanova Piccolo Player Appears On Fallon, Plays With The Roots
It's been a whirlwind weekend for crying Villanova piccolo player Roxanne Chalifoux, but her international stardom led to a few perks tonight as the emotion-stricken Pittsburgh-area native appeared on The Tonight Show—taking home some swag (including Taylor Swift tickets, which almost made her cry a...
![Serial Rapist Darren Sharper Might Serve Just 9 Years [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/v0fta2kr7ymmuzbsfzsa.png)
Serial Rapist Darren Sharper Might Serve Just 9 Years [Updated]
As expected, the plea deals are rolling in for accused serial rapist Darren Sharper, and so far the sentences seem fairly light. But we won't know how long Sharper will spend in prison until he officially pleads in all five jurisdictions, because he'll functionally serve only the longest of his fi...
Play Defense With Your Face
Xavier's J.P. Macura took a basketball to the face. Here's the isolated crowd audio of fans reacting to seeing the replay:...
French Rugby Player Gets Absolutely Clobbered
French fly-half Jules Plisson got pummeled by England's Courtney Lawes in their Six Nations match today. The hit was so vicious that you can hear an instinctive "ohhhhhh!" ring around the stadium in the video below....
Steve Nash Announces His Retirement
Steve Nash is retiring from basketball, he announced in a story on The Players' Tribune titled "Life After Basketball." After thanking a couple dozen people, from coach Don Nelson who told him "'If you're a dominant fucking player — dominate!'" to his family, Nash wrote that he is excited to try som...
A Virginia Fan And Leet Haxor Wrote Us A Nice Letter
Earlier today, I published a post detailing why I will be wishing a swift and ignominious exit for the Virginia Cavaliers from the NCAA Tournament, centering mostly on the character of the school's students and alumni. We've since received this email from one of said UVa fans, republished in full:...
Darren Sharper Plans To Strike Plea Deal In All His Rape Cases Monday
Alleged serial rapist Darren Shaper is working on a global plea deal that would resolve the myriad of sexual assault cases against him, according to multiple reports today. The Associated Press reported that the deal will be filed Monday in two courts, one in California and the other in an unknown l...
<i>Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry </i>Is Acidic B-Movie Nihilism Done Right
The car-chase movies of the '70s really only had one plot: Someone drives a muscle car really fast, hoping to avoid police cars, some of which end up driving into streams or ponds. But each movie found a vastly different way to tell that one story. Vanishing Point, the genre's real masterpiece, to...
The Most "What The Fuck State Is This College In?" Colleges
This post was originally published on March 22, 2013....
This Guy's Terrible Mashups Of Hozier's "Take Me To Church" Are Great
Have you ever listened to a song and felt it was missing that special something? Maybe you thought the tune was excessively cheery, and needed more melancholy wailing from the likes of Hozier, the dour Irish dude whose droning "Take Me to Church" is, somewhat inexplicably, a huge pop hit....