x Page 676 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Player Goes Full Luis Suárez, Bites The Shit Out Of Opponent's Shoulder
Damn, Club Tijuana midfielder Juan Arango’s bite this weekend might be even worse than any of bite master Luis Suárez’s. On the angle you see above, you really get a good look at just how much flesh Arango’s teeth get ahold of, as well as the calmness on his face as he jogs away....
Ned Yost Warns Trainer Not To Lose His ALCS Ring During Rectal Exams
The Kansas City Royals received their 2014 AL Championship rings before opening the season against the White Sox yesterday, and manager Ned Yost had some helpful advice for the team’s head athletic trainer. ...
Aaron Harang's Eyes Implanted Into Various MLB Players' Faces
Deadspin readers have overwhelmingly demanded to know what it would look like if various major leaguers had pitcher Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. In the interest of service to you, the reader, we present various major leaguers with Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. ...
Can You Pass The F.B.I.'s Fitness Exam?
For the first time in 16 years, the F.B.I. is checking to make sure all its agents stay in some semblance of shape. While all agents are required to go through a fairly vigorous fitness exam when they first join the bureau, the New York Times reports that the F.B.I. ended their once-mandatory annual...
They're Gonna Crucify Me: A Heathen's Guide To Easter
Life gets more complicated and demanding as you become an adult. Children are not expected to know much of anything—or to understand the meaning and significance of stuff, or to buy their own beer—so long as they interact with the world sweetly and cutely, and from time to time throw in an unprom...
Warriors Top Suns In A Bonkers Final 30 Seconds
The first 47:30 of the Warriors-Suns game was mostly forgettable, but the final half minute had as much drama as you could ever hope for. Down two, the Warriors got four cracks at the basket—good defensive rebounding, Suns—with Stephen Curry finally nailing a three with eight seconds remaining: ...
Reports: Shaka Smart Is Leaving VCU For Texas
According to numerous reports, what has been rumored for days has come true: Shaka Smart is leaving VCU to become the University of Texas’s next head basketball coach. ...
Here's The Ass-Slapping Video That Got Bowling Green's Coach Fired
Earlier today, Bowling Green State University fired head basketball coach Chris Jans because of an incident that occurred at a local bar. Now, thanks to documents obtained from the university via an open records request, we know exactly why Jans was fired. According to witnesses, he sexually harass...
Bo Jackson Had To Explain Who He Was To This Dumb Child
Bo Jackson has been hanging out at the White Sox spring training facility this year, acting as an instructor and imparting wisdom on dumb young people. Today’s lessons was for Drake LaRoche, the teenaged son of White Sox first baseman Adam LaRoche, who needed a little crash course on who exactly Bo...
<i>Golf Digest</i> Embraces The Power Of Men Leering At Boobs
The cover of this month’s issue of Golf Digest features LPGA tour golfer Lexi Thompson wearing a—golf towel? Cut up shirt? Weird scarf?—and not much else. It’s the “Fitness & Power Issue,” which I guess has something to do with side boob....
Report: Mayweather-Pacquiao PPV Will Cost $99
Exactly one month from today, Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao will meet in the fight everyone wanted five years ago. You’d better start saving up now....
<i>Skyfall</i> Isn't The Best Bond Flick, But It Does Kick The Most Ass
There's no good answer to the "What's the best James Bond movie?" question, since the best James Bond movie will always be the first one you saw when you were a kid. (I ride for Live and Let Die until death.) And there's no good answer as to which James Bond is the best James Bond, since everyone ...
Diego Maradona Prepares For Coming Alien Invasion With Boxing Dummy
Just know that, when the giant blue Martians that have been hibernating miles deep in the Earth's crust finally emerge and begin their assault on this wonderful thing we call human civilization, Diego Maradona has been training and will knock those sons of bitches right back to where they came fro...
Rex Chapman To Call Kentucky Game; Prosecutors Decline Theft Charges
The last time you saw Rex Chapman probably was in this surveillance camera footage from September, showing the former NBA shooting guard taking things off the shelves of a Scottsdale (Ariz.) Apple store. Police said Chapman never paid for those items; instead they said he sold the more than $14,000 ...
Watching Rocky II With The Champ
Nice work by Longform hipping us to this 1979 article by Roger Ebert about watching Rocky II with Muhammad Ali:...
Warrant Issued For Former Maple Leaf Andre Deveaux
Former NHL player Andre Deveaux was dropped from his Swedish pro team after losing his mind and slashing an opponent in the knee during a pregame warmup. Now, according to Reuters, a warrant for Deveaux’s arrest has been issued....
Not Minding That It Hurts
Little Boy Blues is Malcolm Jones’ beautiful memoir about growing up with his mother (and sometimes, his father) in North Carolina in the late Fifties and early Sixties. It’s my favorite kind of memoir—understated, succinct, honed. The prose is precise without being delicate: “My father was a quiet...
Mike Napoli Mashes Broken Bat Homer
Mike Napoli broke his bat on this swing, and still belted the ball into the upper reaches of Fenway South during a spring training game tonight. This isn't one of those "you notice there is a crack in the bat afterwards" broken bat homers either; this is the real, impressive deal. Those are some p...
Alex Poythress Doesn't Prove That John Calipari Is The Devil
Originally published on Slate....