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Miami's Alleged PED Kingpin Reportedly Injected A-Rod Personally, Made Him Bleed Everywhere
After the Miami New Times dropped its big doping story—a story that implicated Alex Rodriguez, Nelson Cruz, Melky Cabrera, and others—on Tuesday, A-Rod did what anyone would have expected him to do: He denied everything in the story through a spokesman. "Alex Rodriguez was not Mr. Bosch's patient, h...

New Hampshire Man Can't Get His 27 Orphaned Bear Cubs To Go The Hell To Sleep
You know what's not easy? Taking care of 27 orphaned bear cubs. Sure, bear cubs are cute and furry, and helping to keep them alive probably fills one with a warming sense of accomplishment, but all that good stuff fades away when the bears won't stop fidgeting and just fucking go to sleep already....

Remembering Up With People: The Gayish Quasi-Cult That Invented The Super Bowl Halftime Show
Originally published in Bloomberg View...

Confused Sports Columnist Doesn't Realize A-Rod And Ray Lewis Were In Two Separate PED Scandals
There were two big stories in the world of performance-enhancing drugs, both released on Tuesday. One involved Alex Rodriguez, Nelson Cruz, Melky Cabrera, and other baseball players being listed in the records of a shady clinic in Miami, Fla. The other involved Ray Lewis receiving a deer antler spra...

Here’s Manti Te’o Hoaxer Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Performing What He Claims Is Lennay Kekua’s Voice
When the first part of Dr. Phil's exclusive interview with Ronaiah Tuiasosopo concluded yesterday, we were left with a cliffhanger: would Ronaiah finally give in to the good Doctor's demands and perform the voice of Lennay Kekua? Today we got the answer: sort of. [Update, March 3, 2014: The video ha...

2014 Super Bowl Host Committee Wonders Why Joe Flacco Dissed His Home State Of New Jersey
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Playing at MetLife Stadium is "retarded?" Why doesn't Flacco have any Jersey pride?...

Phil Mickelson Came <em>Thisclose</em> To Shooting A 59 Today
This is sort of agonizing. On the last hole of the Phoenix Open today, this birdie putt lipped out for Phil Mickelson. Had he holed it, he would have shot a 59, which is golf's answer to baseball's .400, i.e. the outer bound of human ability. Only five golfers have shot a 59 on the PGA Tour. Micke...

The "What Time Is The Super Bowl" SEO-Whoring Is Especially Sad This Year
The Huffington Post mastered the science of gaming Google two years ago, with a post headlined simply: "What Time Does The Superbowl Start?" It contained nothing but the date and time of the Super Bowl. The concept was often imitated, but never duplicated....

When Amani Toomer Looks At Ray Lewis, He Thinks "Hypocrisy"
The Super Bowl media crush isn't just about the players actually playing—the black hole also sucks in retired stars like Marshall Faulk and Jerry Rice and, um, Amani Toomer. The former Giants receiver has an extremely tangential connection to Sunday's matchup—Toomer's Giants lost to Ray Lewis's Rave...

Confessions Of A Glory Boy
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Here's Everything Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Told Dr. Phil In Day One Of His Exclusive Interview
Ronaiah Tuiasosopo—the man behind Lennay Kekua, Manti Te'o's fake dead girlfriend—today told Dr. Phil new details about the "romantic" relationship he had with Te'o. Put however much stock you like in these details: Tuiasosopo is an avowed liar and hoaxer....

Which Harbaugh Brother Would Philandering Ladies Prefer To Hump? Who Cares, Let's Make Sex Jokes
It's the week before the Super Bowl, which means that our inbox is getting flooded with stupid press releases. One in particular, from someone affiliated with AshleyMadison.com (a website where married people can find other married people to bone), is very stupid but also attention-grabbing. The we...

Caleb Moore Has Died From Injuries Suffered In His X Games Snowmobile Crash
Snowmobiler Caleb Moore died this morning, a week after crashing his Snowmobile during the freestyle finals at the X Games in Aspen. Moore under-rotated on a backflip, and slammed his head into the ground as his snowmobile rolled over him. The 25-year-old was airlifted to the hospital, where he unde...

On <em>Dr. Phil</em>, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Says He's Trying "To Recover From Homosexuality"
Part one of Ronaiah Tuiasosopo's silence-breaking sit-down with Dr. Phil airs all over the nation today. (Check your local listings for the precise time.) The Associated Press got its hooks into an early broadcast—our Tim Burke has marshaled one, too, and he'll be posting highlights shortly—and quot...
![It's Only A Matter Of Time Before Someone Dies At The X Games [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18d4ns8cqxsrujpg.jpg)
It's Only A Matter Of Time Before Someone Dies At The X Games [UPDATE]
A week ago at the Winter X Games, 25-year-old Caleb Moore was in the midst of a stellar run. The three-time medalist was putting on a clinic in the finals of Snowmobile Freestyle. He was landing flips and body varials, and he seemed destined for the podium. Then everything went wrong....

Rick Reilly's Column About Colin Kaepernick Is The Smarmiest Story Of Super Bowl Week
The crux of Rick Reilly's latest column for ESPN.com is this: San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick should take steps to foster a relationship with his birth mother because Reilly's own adopted daughter has a healthy relationship with her birth mother. No, seriously, that's Reilly's argu...

J.J. Watt "Proposes" To His Six-Year-Old Biggest Fan
Earlier this month, one of those "crying children" viral video made the rounds. But this one was different: it wasn't the usual kid crying because their team lost. Six-year-old Breanna was upset that she wasn't 25, because if she were, she would be able to marry Texans star J.J. Watt....

Coyotes Sale Falls Apart As Prospective Owner Can't Come Up With The Money
The drama surrounded Coyotes ownership has raged for years, from one owner putting the team into bankruptcy, to the NHL buying the Yotes up, to the courts blocking one sale because the league opposed Jim Balsillie's plan to move the team to Hamilton, Ontario, to the emergence of Greg Jamison as a po...

Drunk 49ers Fan Crashes Broadcast. Reporter Asks Her, "How Long Have You Had An STD?"
Jessica Sanchez, of WKMG in Orlando, is our new local news hero. While doing a stand-up in the French Quarter on New Orleans's preparations for the Super Bowl, Sanchez had an uninvited guest crash the party. Since the woman wanted to talk on camera so badly, Sanchez improvised the perfect line of ...

49ers Cornerback Chris Culliver Is Not Cool With Gay People
Yesterday, Chris Culliver sat down for a radio interview with shock jock Artie Lange. There was no mention of suckingcock.com, but the conversation did turn toward gays in the NFL. Here's how Culliver responded when Lange asked him if any players on the 49ers were gay:...