x Page 859 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bro-Tastic Laxachusetts Lax Bros Get The Bro-Tastic Story They Deserve From The <em>Boston Bro-be</em>
Mark this date in history, people. Years from now, you will look back at June 5th, 2012, as the beginning of the LAX BRO MOVEMENT. And you will have Boston Globe reporter Jenifer McKim to thank for it:...

How To Tell Your Family That Your Cousin Is A Porn Star
Before we get into the Funbag, a quick announcement: I'll be out in D.C. tomorrow night handling the introduction at Justin Halpern's book reading at the Sixth & I Synagogue (Gregg Easterbrook would not approve). I should tell you in advance that you have to pay to go to this thing, which is a pain ...

How A Career Ends: I Was The No. 1 Pick In The MLB Amateur Draft, And Now I'm A Cautionary Tale
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today, with the MLB amateur draft beginning in a matter of hours: Pitcher David Clyde, the No. 1 pick in the 1973 draft and now an object lesson in how not to handle...

Terrell Owens Claims He Is Not A Jerk To Sick Kids, Threatens Lawsuit
Things are getting serious in the Terrell Owens-indoor football team tiff. As we have covered, Owens was released because he failed to show up for some event for sick children—that was the spin, anyway....

Hawk Harrelson Has "Sacks Packed With Seamen"
We received several tips about this and considered it to be sort of juvenile. Yes, yes, Hawk Harrelson said "seamen" and it sounds like "semen" and his "sacks are full of them." But then we actually watched our footage and started laughing. Maybe that makes us juvenile, who knows, but it's pretty ...

Pablo Sandoval Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault
Rehab was going pretty well for San Francisco's third baseman, Pablo Sandoval, until sometime mid-afternoon Friday: working out and rehabbing on his own, enjoying a break from the daily grind of Major League Baseball, getting a little "consensual, personal relationship of a sexual nature" action....

Cockblocked By Asthma!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

If You Have An iPad, And You Like Good Things, Buy This Crazy Dock Ellis iBook
We gave you a snippet from Donnell Alexander's new iBook, Beyond Ellis D, a few weeks back. But now the whole thing, with great writing and crazy art, is available from the iTunes store, if you have an iPad 2. Get it and lose yourself. [iTunes]...

Lauren Tannehill Is Doing Maxim
Two weeks ago, photographer Roger Snider did a pair of shoots with Lauren Tannehill, the wife of Dolphins QB Ryan Tannehill. He doesn't say for whom, but according to LobShots, it's for Maxim. Of course, Miami is the team on this year's Hard Knocks. It's possible HBO will have its biggest crossover ...

Uncle Gene At The Brigade Open: An Unlikely Host For Fight Night At West Point
Republished from The Classical....

Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever
If you've ever attended school at any level, you know how infuriating it can be when some dipshit administrator screws up your paperwork and sticks you in the wrong class. Or even worse, when they actively try to prevent you from switching out of that class into the class you wanted. Well, one br...

How To Fold A Fajita Without Looking Like Some Sort Of Dumbass
Oh, fajitas. Oh, how I adore you. The way you arrive at my table still sizzling on a metal platter. The way the waiter warns me to NEVER touch that metal platter, or else all my nerve endings will detonate. The way the steam comes up from the tortillas once I've lifted the lid on the tortilla-holder...

Hawk Harrelson Still Has A Headache After His On-Air Meltdown Yesterday
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Harrelson is still steamed....

Vanderbilt Football Coach Will Not Hire Assistants Until He's Seen What Their Wives Look Like
Ah, Vanderbilt. A refined, enlightened place. "The Harvard of the South," it's called. So it's not without reason that its football coach, James Franklin, seems like the Larry Summers of the South:...

Rex Ryan: New Jersey Devils Fan
New York Jets coach Rex Ryan and family took in last night's opening game of the Stanley Cup Finals, garbed in Devils jerseys and ready for action. Alas, the Kings took Game One 2-1 in overtime, but we're not entirely sure how much Ryan's behind the Devils anyway—he grew up a Maple Leafs fan in Tor...

BMX Rider Hits Head, "Focuses On Vacuuming"
Helmets don't work every time you dive headfirst into a large wooden structure. Professional BMX rider and 2012 X Games invitee Tom Dugan found that out the hard way when he attempted a "one-handed no-footed cancan" (a feat where the rider moves both of his feet to one side of the bike, letting go...

Ken "Hawk" Harrelson Melts Down After White Sox Pitcher Ejected For Throwing Behind A Batter
This week's Rays-White Sox series in St. Petersburg has been contentious after Chicago catcher A.J. Pierzynski's suspicious slide yesterday led to him being plunked by Rays pitcher Alex Cobb today. When Jose Quintana attempted to return the favor—or perhaps just send another message—to Tampa Bay's ...

A Dead Milkman Breaks Down "The <em>Citizen Kane</em> Of White Trash Punch-Out Videos" For Us
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Tech N9ne Concert Fight Billings MT 5-21-12," which "LatinaJuggalette" was kind enough to share. Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, satiricapunk-rockin' front ma...

Craig James's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Senate Campaign Has Come To An End
All the polls have now closed in the state of Texas, and the US Senate campaign of former ESPN analyst Craig James has reached its inevitable nadir, struggling to even gain 4 percent of the statewide party vote as ballots continue to be counted. ...

Roy Oswalt Signs With Rangers
According to a Dallas Morning News report from earlier this afternoon, we can finally exhale—Roy Oswalt has signed with the Texas Rangers....