x Page 913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wonder If This TCU Fan Still Wanted Some Loving After His Team Blew A Gigantic Comeback
Your morning roundup for Sept. 3, the day that Dragon Con's Comic Book Babes Costume Contest becomes an Elvira-hosted reality in Atlanta. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Fox Sports Does Humiliating Whiteface Routine
This is a Fox Sports segment making a joke about how schools from America's interior West are joining the previously mostly-coastal conference formerly known as the Pac-10. Students on the West Coast are not like students in Colorado and Utah, you see....

Cockblocked By Peruvian Hallucinogenics!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Never Teach Your Kids About Lightning
I have a 5-year-old kid. One of my jobs as a parent is to read books to the kid so that the kid can be smart and make lots of money and eventually buy me a big fucking house that I can drunkenly vomit all over, Gloria James-style. One of the things every parent should do before reading a book to a c...

Surfing, Like Most Things, Is Better With Flares
I honestly think all Red Bull-sponsored events exist solely for YouTube's sake....

So This Is What A Brawl In An Emergency Room Waiting Room Looks Like
Right about the time you think that this spectacle in an unnamed hospital's waiting room is over (about 2:15 in), the hair- and wifebeater-yanking commences. And yes, it seems like the guy in the blue-and-white striped shirt likes hitting women. So there's that, too....

Jockey Who Drove His Car Into A Race Track Security Guard Was Not Permitted To Ride Horses Today
Last night, Hall of Fame jockey Kent Desormeaux is said to have intentionally driven his silver 2003 Porsche Carrera into a lady "peace officer" in the Saratoga Race Course parking lot. Bad form, yo....

This Tip About Scantily Clad German Soccer Ladies Totally Buried The Lede
Anybody with a set of eyes would surely agree that that picture of "Mona of BV Sturm Wissel" is a compelling image. In and of itself, it justifies tipster Tomuban's signal to check out a "Women footballers heat up the pitch for [sexy 2012 pin-up] calendar" link....

ESPN Will Put Unranked Texas In The Top 25, Now That They Own The Longhorn Network
If you consume an ESPN product, be it online or broadcast or magazine, we hope you are prepared to hear about Texas at least as often as the teams that actually matter, no matter how many games they lose. This is what happens when they invest $300 million in a team-specific network. ...

At Least The Guy Caught Fornicating With A Pink Inflatable Raft Knows He Has A Problem
Reading what Edwin Charles Tobergta's grandmother had to say, through tears, after her dearest Edwin got arrested for banging an inflatable raft in Hamilton, Ohio — again — it's natural to question whether this constitutes entrapment. Edwin, who asked police to take him for help, is more a victim t...

The Pregnant Man Is Very Upset With Chaz Bono
Where to begin? Ok, the cast....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
As you probably already know, the Knox City Greyhounds lost their season opener to Crowell 47-36....

Today In Awful Stories Involving Fiery Decapitation
When York County (Va.) Sheriff Danny Diggs says things like "Nobody has ever heard of anything like this. It's a really bizarre incident," people listen. As well they should....

"Grinding The Crack": A Cool Wingsuit Video With A Questionable Name
The human-size flying squirrel in this video is named Jeb Corliss. He's a professional BASE jumper and a wing-suit pilot. You may remember him as one of the people who BASE jumped into the Super Bowl XXXVIII pregame show. You may not. Corliss has been permanently banned from the Empire State Build...

Insights Gleaned From Watching The Blurry LSU Fight Video Way Too Many Times
First watch the above video, a news report featuring surveillance video at Shady's bar. Then take a look at the one below, which purports to be cell phone footage of the actual brawl....

This Slip ’N Slide/Human Slingshot Video Makes You Realize You Wasted Your Summer
So much fun. So many horn riffs. It's like an old Newports ad....

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Your Complete Source For Complete Yankees Complete Red Sox Completely
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Watch Highlights From A Summer-League Game In Which LeBron And Durant Do A Lot Of Dunking
The Goodman and Melo league teams played in front of about 5,000 people at Morgan State University in Baltimore last night. Carmelo Anthony had recruited LeBron James and Chris Paul to join the Baltimore side, which means that this game was much more Kevin Durant vs. King James than it was D.C. vs...

Oscar De La Hoya Admits He Was A Suicidal, Coke-Snorting, Boozing Philanderer But He's All Better Now
And how many women did he bag outside of his marriage during his two-year bender? "We are obviously not talking a Tiger Woods here, but I was unfaithful" So less than 20. [BSO via Boxing Scene]...

BEARS!!! At The Rangers Game, Yo
Your morning roundup for Aug. 31, the day we spent way too much time reading about the Yarn Harlot's visit to this year's Sock Summit. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. [Photo: MOCKSESSION, obvs.]...