x Page 921 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN Interview With Skateboarder Carries On Despite Possible Abduction Of Child
Last week an ESPN crew interviewed Nyjah Huston, a 16-year-old skateboarder from Davis, Calif., to talk about his preparations and expectations for this year's X-Games. Huston's interview is nothing riveting — "um, yeah, like, gonna be sick, like, you know?" — and his cause isn't helped at all by ...

24 Hours At Comic Con
The thing about Comic Con is that, underneath all the geeky costumes and all that other fanboy bullshit, it's still very much a convention. It takes place in a nondescript convention hall that's roughly the size of the Pentagon. The panels take place in big depressing conference rooms that look very...

We Hope This Near-Death Experience Also Marks The Death Of Planking
Please, world, let us be done with planking. It has gone too far. People are now falling off of the top of golf carts and then nearly getting run over by said golf carts. A person has actually died. Soon, our pets' heads will be falling off....

Did Andres Blanco Make Adrian Beltre Sit In His Fart Cloud? Oh, Yes, He Did.
And this is why you have to love regular-season baseball. We showed you the highs several minutes ago, but there are lows, too. Such riveting lows they are....

Alex Morgan Can Score Exciting Goals After The World Cup, Too
This comes from something called Women's Professional Soccer, where Morgan and other members of the USWNT toil in obscurity during the four inter-Cup years. She's on the Western New York Flash—just like Marta, the Brazilian striker, our brief public enemy—and here, on Sunday, she scores while faci...

This Evening: Alexander Ovechkin Is Really Overdressed For This Summer Weather
Your p.m. roundup for July 26, the day we passed on ordering pink beer. H/T to Ian for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Dog Feces Vs. Human Feces: WHO YA GOT?!
I was at the gym earlier today and I was in the shower. The shower at the gym has an opaque glass door, but the door only goes up to my neck, so anyone in the locker room can see my big fat alien head while I'm showering. Anyway, I'm standing there washing off, nothing malevolent. And for some reaso...

Rex Ryan Couldn't Wait To Boost And/Or Undermine Mark Sanchez
There's going to be football after all, which means there will be the New York Jets, which means it's time for people to start worrying and wondering about Mark Sanchez again. What can we expect this year from the young fellow who inherited the title of "New York football hero," scare quotes very mu...

Mario Balotelli Punished For "Unprofessional"-And-Also-Failed Backheel Goal Attempt
Mario Balotelli, the 20-year-old Italian striker who plays for Manchester City, attempted a backheel goal in a friendly against the L.A. Galaxy on Saturday, and it did not go well. He missed the goal by a few feet and was immediately pulled from the game. Youth soccer coaches across the world are ...

Omar Little Will Appear As A Fresh-Out-Of-Prison Biology Professor On Community
Television changed this morning the moment when actor Michael Kenneth Williams stated via Twitter, "For all the community peeps out there it's official look for me in up coming eps." Translation: Omar from The Wire is comin' to NBC's Community. It's nice to see he made it through the whole Kenard ...

Your Afternoon Downer
Here are two awful stories from the world of sports to depress yourselves with. [Star Tribune, Denver Post]...

Cockblocked By Accessories!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

North Carolina Woman Left Paralyzed After Bachelorette-Party Accident Will Get Married Today
Last June, middle-school teacher Rachelle Friedman was preparing to get married. But then, a friend pushed her into a pool. Playfully. With no malice, Friedman says. She hit the bottom awkwardly, though, and the end result was that she was a quadriplegic....

Kim Kardashian Files $20M Lawsuit Over Ad Featuring Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush's Kardashian-Lookalike Current Girlfriend
Yesterday, a woman who built a "reality star" career from a sex tape that turned her ass into a household name filed suit against a clothing store for featuring a woman who built an "Old Navy commercial star" career from looking like the woman with the sex-tape ass. Fun fact: reality star is New O...

Dry-Hump On, Good Mötley Crüe-Lovin' People Of Nashville
Tipster James sent us this photo all the way back on July 5, when Nashville was fresh from being rocked by the Crüe two days prior. And for reasons unknown, we haven't posted it until now. For that we apologize profusely....

Is Alex Ovechkin Looking A Little Bloated?
Nah, probably just the posture, or the skintight shirt. Or his legendary offseason regimen. But it's got to be a little unsettling for Caps fans to have to be reassured: "Don't worry; I'm going to be in good shape." [Caps365]...

Losing To Bruce Bleeping Chen Makes Ozzie Guillen Curse Like A Sailor
This is actually a very reasonable response to getting four hits in eight innings against Chen. [CBS Chicago]...

Today In Great Mugshots
Meet Tammy Hinton, a 53-year-old gal who police were trying to track down for three years on an identity-theft warrant. Somebody narked that she'd be back in Michigan for her wedding. So, Johnny Law swooped down on the City of Zion Ministries accordingly....

Porn Star Arrested For Abusing Roosters, Guinea Hens, Pigeons, Living Goats, Dead Goats And Ducks
Per the Miami New Times, "Bang Bus porn star 'Ramon' — famous for his giant penis — was arrested last week for keeping a menagerie of suffering farm animals locked in a vehicle on a 90-degree day."...

Buffalo Bills WR Celebrates His Birthday With A Cake That Looks Like His Ladyfriend's Ass
Writes tipster Mark S., "Buffalo Bills WR Stevie Johnson is a strange soul. Blaming god for a dropped ball in November, and now a nice big booty birthday cake."...