x Page 941 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
An Inside Look At The White House Pooper!
All my life I've wanted to know the details of where the President of the United States evacuates his bowels, and now an anonymous reader who is ON THE INSIDE has provided the crucial information....
Albert Haynesworth Accused Of Sexual Assault
Haynesworth, who was charged with assault in a road rage incident on Feb. 2, has been accused of sexually assaulting a waitress at the W Hotel last weekend. Haynesworth's agent says there is "no truth to these allegations." [WRC-4]...
Watch A Three-Year-Old's Heart Break Because His Favorite Texas Ranger May Get Traded
The young man in this video is apparently a big fan of Texas Rangers third-baseman Michael Young, who is likely about to be traded because — overly simplified — he doesn't get along very well with general manager Jon Daniels....
The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....
The Lawyer Suing The NFL Over Super Bowl Seats Thinks $5 Million Probably Isn't Enough
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: people don't want another Super Bowl trip. They want cash money....
The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....
A Man You Want To See Punched In The Face Instantly Gets Punched In The Face
British fighter Usman Ahmed spends two minutes dancing his way to the ring — and gets knocked out in one. It encapsulates everything good, then bad, then good again about boxing....
Cockblocked By The Hoff!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
This Pink Nightmare Is An Actual Hockey Jersey
The ECHL's Alaska Aces will suit up Sunday night in this Valentine's Day nightie jersey. Remember kids, pink is an acceptable uniform color only if you're fighting breast cancer, or are Bret "The Hitman" Hart....
Listen To Jim Gray's Awful Super Bowl Sign-Off
Jim Gray delivered the Super Bowl sign-off for Westwood One Radio. It was already quite the piece of work, but adding the "Rudy" theme song really just brought it to another level....
The Super Bowl Almost Broke Twitter
"[In] the final moments of the game, fans sent 4,064 Tweets per second – the highest TPS for any sporting event... Twitter users shattered that record six times over the course of the game." [Twitter Blog, Wired]...
Real American Fans Shut Out Of Real American Event Do Real American Thing And Sue
Somehow two silly displaced Super Bowl ticketholders and their eager lawyers managed to devise a lawsuit just as profoundly stupid as Dan Snyder's. They're seeking more than $5 million from the NFL, the Cowboys, and Jerry Jones personally. Why?...
Beer Commercials' Real Target Audience
Tom Scocca explains that all-male, groin-punch-infested beer ads are designed not for adults but teenage boys. Apparently, boys go to great lengths to procure beer. Who knew? But Scocca, like us all, still can't comprehend the Pepsi Max spots. [Slate]...
The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl
"He would send me a text at 2 a.m. on a Wednesday, but I'd be like, I have school tomorrow." The quarterback and the high schooler: a thoroughly modern love story. READ » • ALSO: Her lawyer's letter to Deadspin....
The Pittsburgh Paper's Solution For Shut Out Super Bowl Fans Is One Big Conflict Of Interest
Yesterday, an unsigned editorial ran in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, decrying the NFL's offer of compensation to those fans whose Super Bowl seats were unavailable, and demanding that the league pay them as much as $50,000 each. The editorial failed to mention that one of the people affected by the ...
A-Rod Gets Upset Over Popcorn Shot In Most A-Rod Way Possible
Believe it or not, Alex Rodriguez reportedly "went ballistic" after finding out that Fox ran this loving moment with girlfriend Cameron Diaz during the Super Bowl. He accused the cameraman of being "out to get them in a paparazzi-like shot," which, according to Bill Zwecker's source, is crazy becaus...
Iowa City Arsonist Witness Looks Remarkably Similar To The GEICO Caveman Guy
Police in Iowa City, Iowa are on the hunt for an arsonist who allegedly burnt down an apartment building a week ago. As a few tipsters have shrewdly pointed out, the prime witness in the investigation, and the possible suspect, bears a striking resemblance to the caveman from those awful GEICO comme...
Michael Vick Gets Key To Dallas, Shit From Owner Of His Former Pit Bull
Michael Vick had a long week in Dallas. At first, he was maybe hosting a party with a SWAT team and its own trailer that eventually got called off and that he had "no intention of participating" in anyway. Luckily, Vick's personal mentor Tony Dungy canceled the party....
Christina Aguilera Is An Anti-American Slut, According To Pro-American Internet Commenters
"I got so caught up in the moment of the song that I lost my place," Aguilera has explained about last night's blunder. "I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through." Sure, fair enough. Now let's check in with Real Ameri...