x Page 965 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Life And Death In Baseball Cards
The following is taken from Josh Wilker's wonderful memoir Cardboard Gods: An All-American Tale Told Through Baseball Cards. You can find more of Josh's writing at cardboardgods.net...

British Kickboxer (Allegedly) Loses Bar Fight, Kills Victor (Allegedly)
British kickboxer Lee Aldhouse is being sought by Thai police after allegedly stabbing an American tourist in the chest after the two earlier engaged in a bar fight. This has the makings of the best Locked Up Abroad yet. [Daily News]...

Big Yankees Fan, Evoking Lady Gaga, Says We All Missed His Video's Comedic Subtleties
I know a lot has changed in the past 24 hours, but surely you remember Michael LaPayower's homage to pride, power, pinstripes and Derek Jeter. If not, take a moment to reacquaint yourself....

Tila Tequila Attends "Gathering of the Juggalos," Suffers Predictable Fate
"I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw firecrackers on stage." [news.com.au]...

Former Aspiring Olympian Files Sex-Abuse Suit Against US Swimming, Coach
The USA Swimming sex scandal deepens, what with former Olympic hopeful Jancy Thompson talking to ABC News about filing a sexual-misconduct lawsuit. It includes accusations of being forced to wear a dog collar....

Blacks Totally Outrank Gays on the Whitlock Oppression Scale (W.O.S.)
You know that whole "analogy comparing black people's fight for equal rights and gay people's"? Well, it makes Jason Whitlock "uncomfortable." So knock it off, gay people. Gay bashers, too....

Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Chris Kaman
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the feature where we examine the fan-made video love letters to their favorite athletes and the baffling music choices that are added in post-production. Today's lucky subject: Los Angeles Clipper Chris Kaman....

The Song That Was Playing The First Time I Had Sex Was...
Mine was Meatloaf's "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad." Mark from Atlanta's was "Little Red Corvette." Others are below. Add more in the comments, please, horndogs....

The Grossest Thing You'll Read All Week
Seattle man dumps bucket filled with "urine, feces and vomit" on neighbor. The Aristocrats!...

Lessons In Midget Hoisting Etiquette
My power went out this morning for the 9,000th time this summer. Let me tell you something: power outages are a hundred times worse when you have small children. No power means the TV doesn't work, so I have nothing to turn on to get the kids to be quiet so that I can ignore them properly. Also, the...

200 Beer Bottles Opened In 80 Seconds? Believe It
In the pantheon of useless talents, this rates somewhere between reciting Pi to the hundredth digit and throwing a knuckleball. I'd be more impressed if he had kept even one beer from overflowing with head....

<em>Hard Knocks</em> Is Already The Rex Ryan Show
The Jets coach gave an inspirational, aspirational, foulmouthed speech to his assembled players (minus Darrelle Revis), and god damn if I'm not fired up right now. I bet I could lead the league in fucking wins. [video via Ape at KSK]...

Tim Tebow's Hyperbaric Chamber Lets Him Use Oxygen Better Than You, Too
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Austin Croshere
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's laughably out-of-place subject? Bill Walton absolutely loved saying his name: Austin Croshere. The song: "Bad Lands," by rappers Zion I & The Grouch....

Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....

You, Dim, Spammy Crap Peddler, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired
One of the many downsides of being an internet "editor" is the heaping pile of sales pitches you receive from various fly-by-night tech companies trying to "partner-up" with you on some useless mobile device or traffic-booster. Here is one of these people....

Crotch-Kicking Senate Nominee Linda McMahon Assailed From Right And Left As Crotch-Kicker
First came Connecticut GOP rival Peter Schiff's incredible campaign ad. Now comes this DNC statement about the former WWE CEO: "Today the party of Bob Dole, Jack Kemp and Dick Lugar nominated a candidate who kicks men in the crotch..."...

Hot Piece Of Ass Who Quit Job Was Probably A Stunt
Today, all The Internet wanted to talk about was Jet Blue Guy's zany escape from employment—or the press's red-faced descriptions of how the police found him—and all of a sudden Dry Erase Board Girl came out of nowhere. She's fake....