yo Page 245 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mark Richt Unable To Recruit His Own Nephew

University of Miami head coach Mark Richt seemed all set to have one of the best high school quarterbacks in the country join his program next year. Not only had four-star quarterback Max Johnson verbally committed to Miami in February of 2016, he also happens to be Richt’s nephew. So it came as a b...

You Can Pry My Headphone Jack From My Cold Dead Hands

I purchased my last iPhone in the summer of 2016 and I’m still using it. But this blog is not a boast about how I am resisting consumerism and striking a blow against Apple’s dedication to planned obsolescence. I’m not bragging about how I haven’t (yet) dropped my phone in the toilet. The purchase d...

Trae Young Has The Freedom To Chuck These Stupid-Fun Three-Pointers From The Logo

Twenty-one games in, Hawks rookie Trae Young has had his moments. Barring catastrophic injury to Luka Doncic and Jaren Jackson Jr., and, honestly, some other dudes too, Young won’t be the Rookie of the Year, but he’s been an entertaining strain of semi-bad that you can really get behind....

Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out

José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....

Some doo-doo has appeared at UNC’s Old Well, specifically in the water fountain from which students traditionally take a drink for good luck. CBS 17 has an uncensored photo, as well as this harrowing sentence: “It’s unclear if it was human or animal poop.” [CBS 17]...

Brett Kavanaugh's Still Coaching Basketball

Brett Kavanaugh’s still got coaching on his calendar after all. ...

Odell Beckham Sounds Fed Up

The Giants were rolling, having put up 346 yards of offense in the first half against the Eagles—the most yards in a half by any Giants team in 33 years. And then, well ... “It was a tale of two halves,” Connor Barwin said, diplomatically. To put it more honestly, the Giants offense pooped the bed....

Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]

Cordarrelle Patterson was brought down by Henry Anderson after a one-yard gain on a first-and-five run early in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Patriots-Jets tilt. Patterson, who I think it will henceforth be fair to assume is a total sociopath, expressed his displeasure with that turn of events by c...

This Shit Is Corny

You may have seen a quote from Giants star receiver Odell Beckham Jr. going around this morning, about the New York Giants’ chances of winning the rest of their games and making the playoffs at 9-7. “Six games left, it’s really only crazy until you do it,” Beckham told reporters, as if he were in a ...

Goddamnit, Cy Young Voter Who Snubbed Jacob deGrom Is A W-L Guy

I didn’t know a lot about San Diego Union-Tribune writer John Maffei (but not, weirdly, baseball writer) before today. I know everything about now, even from very limited data....

Jacob DeGrom Won The NL Cy Young And It Wasn't Even Close

Playing for the Mets didn’t impede Jacob deGrom’s NL Cy Young chances in the slightest. Despite only putting up a 10-9 record due to his hitters giving him some of the worst run support in the league, the Mets ace wasn’t penalized for his lack of wins, and he blew away Max Scherzer in the voting. De...

Tom Kuhnhackl Scores Backhanded From His Backside

The New York Islanders have an early lead against the Canucks thanks to some backfiring defensive plays by their opponents, the first of which came on a backhanded goal from winger Tom Kuhnhackl....

Mike Francesa Offers Touching Words On Stan Lee's Passing: "Oh, Who Cares?"

It’s probably too much to ask Mike Francesa to be compassionate on the air, or to admit that he should have known something he didn’t know. But come on, Mike, the guy just died! The least you could do is muster up something better than, “Who cares?”...

A Roundup Of Jets Fans Looking Like Hostages

Year 4 of the Mike Maccagnan-Todd Bowles era has finally hit rock bottom. Sunday, the Jets hosted the 2-7 Bills, who were reduced to starting Matt Barkley, a fourth-string quarterback who wasn’t even on an NFL roster until Halloween. Oh, and Buffalo came in with the worst offense in DVOA history. Th...

Let's Remember Some Carmelo Anthony Highlights

Carmelo Anthony’s time with the Houston Rockets seems to be coming to a quick and humiliating end. This comes after an agonizing season with the Thunder and a productive but mostly disappointing tenure with the Knicks. It’s been true for long enough now that it can be said without qualification: Car...

The Jets Defense Somehow Made Matt Barkley Look Competent

Before today, every Bills quarterback who had played in a game this season was either injured or deeply flummoxed by the game of football, so Buffalo’s had to dig deep into the scrap heap to find new guys to trot out. Fishing around with a rubber-gloved hand a few weeks back, they eventually grabbed...

Furman Defeats Loyola-Chicago On Game-Winning Baptism

Loyola-Chicago might have began the night celebrating their Cinderella run to the Final Four in last season’s national tournament, but it was the Ramblers who were on the wrong end of a surprise upset on Friday. ...

David Fizdale Doesn't Want To Be Tempted By Visions Of A Healthy Kristaps Porzingis

As the Knicks head coach, David Fizdale has been a blessing. He’s gotten creative with his lineups; he’s giving the youth plenty of burn; and he’s not trying to win now with the likes of Lance Thomas and Enes Kanter. He’s taking the long view. So long is his view that Fizdale is not even willing to ...

The Flyers Suffered Through An Absolutely Miserable Powerplay

In the second period of a 2-2 tie game against the Flyers, Arizona Coyotes forward Vinnie Hinostroza got a two-minute minor for tripping and took a trip to the penalty box. It became the best thing that’s happened to his team all night....

Nine Months After ACL Surgery, Kristaps Porzingis Still Can't Run [Update]

New York Knicks coach David Fizdale provided a very bleak update today about the status of team centerpiece Kristaps Porzingis, who hasn’t played since he tore his ACL in a game against the Bucks on Feb. 6 last season. Even after nine months of recovery, Porzingis still isn’t fully able to run, and—...