yo Page 325 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oilers' Leon <em></em>Draisaitl Tossed For Crotch Spearing As Sharks Take 6-0 Lead<em></em>
About midway though the second period of the Edmonton Oilers game against the San Jose Sharks, Oilers forward Leon Draisaitl was ejected for spearing the Sharks’ Chris Tierney right in the dick and balls. Edmonton was down 5-0 when Draisaitl lashed out....
Capitals Fans: Ohfuckohshitfuckfuckfuck
Capitals fans: Now that you’re down a game to the eighth-seeded Leafs, in a series that was just supposed to be a warm-up for the real opportunities to choke, how’re those sphincters? Are they so desperately clenched that not even a molecule can pass through, giving you that familiar tummy ache of d...
Yeah, The Bruins Got Hosed
When writing a gamer, it can be tough to find just the right verb. You can’t just say a team “won” every time, or that they “beat” their opponents, because overuse gets boring, and you want to convey something of the substance of the game. Did they “dominate,” “thrash,” or “spank” the other team? Or...
Grizzlies Coach Dave Fizdale Goes Scorched Earth On Refs In Postgame Rant<em></em><em></em>
The Grizzlies recovered from a huge deficit tonight against the Spurs, but eventually fell short of a comeback win, losing 96-82. Kawhi Leonard shot 19 free throws in the game while the Grizzlies shot just 15, a fact which coach Dave Fizdale was quick to note in his postgame press conference. ...
Pekka Rinne Scrambles For Incredible Desperation Save After Puck Takes Wild Bounce
The Predators nearly ceded the weirdest goal of the playoffs in the first period against the Blackhawks, after a power-play clearance banked off a stanchion and veered towards goal. Pekka Rinne leapt in the path of this one and pawed it just wide of danger....
Paul George Is So Good And It Doesn't Even Matter
The Cavaliers nearly blew yet another fourth-quarter lead this evening, but because the Pacers are clunky and mediocre, and the Cavaliers employ LeBron James, Kevin Love, and Kyrie Irving, they did not blow yet another fourth quarter lead. The Pacers are heading home down 2-0, and despite the potent...
Report: Carmelo Anthony And His Wife La La Have Separated, Maybe Because The Knicks Suck
According to TMZ, the stress of the New York Knicks’ failure-ridden embarrassment of a season and ongoing incompetence contributed to the separation of Carmelo Anthony and his TV-star wife La La, who have been together for more than a decade and have been married since 2010....
Erik Karlsson's Hail Mary Set Up A Marvelous Goal
Senators defenseman Erik Karlsson set up Mike Hoffman’s opening goal against the Bruins this evening with an inch-perfect pass he lofted over the heads of a few defenders from his own goal. Hoffman received it coolly and banged in a sly little finish of his own....
Canned Player Quotes From Jets PR, Annotated
The Jets were one of 23 NFL teams to begin their 2017 offseason program today. Under the terms of the collective bargaining agreement, the first two weeks of the offseason program are limited to strength and conditioning and rehab. The Jets did not make any players or coaches available to the media,...
Stephen A. Smith: "This Damn Phil Jackson Is Still In New York City!"
For anyone masochistic enough to still care about the Knicks, this weekend felt a lot like rock bottom. President Phil Jackson spent Friday afternoon publicly alienating his star player Carmelo Anthony. He also stated that no Knicks player—including Kristaps Porzingis—was off the bargaining table, q...
Zach Werenski's Face Is Really Fucked Up
In the second period of Sunday’s Game 3 between the Penguins and Blue Jackets, Columbus defenseman Zach Werenski took a Phil Kessel shot right under the eye. Since Pittsburgh kept possession of the puck, officials didn’t stop play, which led to Bryan Rust tying the game at three as Werenski spilled ...
Once Again, The Thunder Have An Enes Kanter Problem
In what was a thoroughly embarrassing 31-point Game 1 defeat at the hands of the Houston Rockets, perhaps no Thunder player was exposed more than backup center Enes Kanter....
Alexander Radulov Is Older, Wiser, And As Good As Ever
When Alexander Radulov got going, so did the Canadiens. Montreal’s 2-1 series lead over the Rangers has been driven by the 30-year-old winger’s five points in the last two games, including this absurd one-handed beauty to seal Game 3:...
Jake Guentzel Is The Ideal Finisher For Sidney Crosby
The Penguins must have a goddamned farm somewhere, where they just grow top-six forwards. Last year’s Cup run wouldn’t have happened without Conor Sheary and Bryan Rust, and now that those two have solidified their spots as unquestioned essentials to Pittsburgh’s offensive machine, here comes anothe...
Womp Womp
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Zach Werenski Bleeds All Over The Place While Penguins Celebrate Tying Game Up<em></em>
Zach Werenski sacrificed his face to stop a Phil Kessel shot, only to see the Penguins score anyway moments later as Bryan Rust got the puck past Sergei Bobrovsky while blood poured from the Blue Jackets defenseman’s visage. It’s bad times in Columbus, as Pittsburgh has tied it up 3-3....
Bastia Fans Swarm Pitch, Attack Lyon Players During Warmups
Today’s Ligue 1 match between Lyon and SC Bastia was delayed after a group of home fans ran on the field during warmups and went after Lyon players: ...
A Very Timely And Comprehensive 2017 NBA Playoffs, Uh, "Preview," Part 2
Good afternoon, basketball viewers! It’s time for the second part of our very on-time and definitely not late at all 2017 NBA playoffs preview blog post. Here’s what you need to know about the first-round series that are scheduled to begin today, presented in the order the games will start....
Joe Johnson Buzzer-Beater Earns Jazz Game 1 Victory
Joe Johnson’s floater as time expired erased a heroic shot by Chris Paul to tie the game and gave the fifth-seeded Utah Jazz a 97-95 Game 1 win over the Clippers in Los Angeles....