yo Page 704 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Donald Brashear Suspended Six Games For Breaking Faces
Six! One for pushing Colton Orr and five for a late hit on Blair Betts—so he'll miss Tuesday's Game 7 and most (maybe all?) of the next series if they win....

A Bold New Sanchez-To-Burress Era For Jets Fans?
Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum said that the Jets contacted agent Drew Rosenhaus prior to the draft to ask about Plaxico Burress's legal situation. [USA Today]...

More Game Fours Than You Can Shake A Fork At
It's a Game 4 quadruple header today in the NBA Playoffs today. What will we learn?! Besides how many nachos can be consumed in an 11-hour period. Open thread your hearts out, hoop heads. [NBA]...

Rangers Coach Suspended For Fighting Fans
It looks like Sean Avery's hot-headed, loose cannon ways are rubbing off on his head coach John Tortorella, who got himself suspended for today's crucial Game 6 (on national TV!) against the Capitals....

T-R-D-E! Trade! Trade! Trade!
The Browns were all "hey, let's pick someone" and the Jets were all "um, no, how bout we draft?" and the Browns were all "whoa" and the Jets were all "yay, Sanchez!"...

How To Entertain Yourself Today If You Don't Have A Bigass Touchscreen
Well, hell, CNN gave John King one for the 2008 election. Why doesn't Michael Smith get one for the NFL Draft?...

Little Person, Big World: The Great Dave Flood Experiment Is Over
We all watched breathlessly when the Independent York Revolution employed 3-foot-2 batter Dave Flood this season during spring training. Would this mark a glorious new era in tiny strike zones? Um, no....

Gary Bettman Does Not Appreciate Your Octopus-Throwing Antics
A Red Wings fan throwing an octopus on the Columbus Blue Jackets home ice? Sir, this will not stand! (Scuffle ensues — see photo)....

Girl, 12, Throws Perfect Game, Is Called Up By Mets
The taunting rings in your ears and burns like fire, and will for years. A girl pitched a perfect game against your Little League team, and you struck out three times. Nelson Muntz approves....

Vancouver Blog Jinxes Canucks Early And Often
A Canucks blog is asking fans to submit their own user-generated Stanley Cup parade routes. Is there a route that takes them under the World's Largest Ladder? [The White Towel; via Puck Daddy]...

ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...

Big Papi Fires Warning Shot Over Joba's Bow
Their series doesn't begin until tomorrow, but David Ortiz thought he'd get in a preemptive strike today against Joba Chamberlain and the Yankees. Hey Joba, please don't throw at our noggins....

It's Nap Time When Timmy McGee SAYS It's Nap Time
When site banners and headlines collide, the results can be somewhat amusing. Meet the deceptively muscled tykes of the Trigg County powerlifting team. I'm guessing that's Timmy McGee in the yellow shirt. [TCPS]...

Crack The F—king Skye. Your 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo
The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy....

NHL Playoffs Operating With Deadly Efficiently
Boston brushed Montreal aside to complete their sweep last night and will see the second-round for the first time in 10 years. (Oh boy! More sports triumphs for Boston!) Meanwhile, we've already forgotten who the Canucks beat 4-0, Columbus neglected to set their alarm clocks for the Detroit series, ...

Freddie Sez Has About Had It With High Ticket Prices
So yeah, there are plenty of those high-priced corporate seats that are empty at Yankee Stadium this season. But here's the real tragedy: Freddie Sez can't get in!...

For Great Quality At A Low, Low Price, Come On Down During Aaron Curry Discount Days
Aaron Curry is shopping himself to the Lions via text message — which technically is SPAM — telling general manager Martin Mayhew he can be had for a song if he chooses him No. 1....

Yes, Hockey Does Have Buzzer-Beaters
After giving up a 3-goal lead, Carolina beats New Jersey on a slap shot with 0.2 seconds left in the game, which I guess is not a lot of time remaining.[NHL]...

I Guess This Is What You Live For
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

How Clemens' Retirement May Have Single-Handedly Sunk The Housing Market
At this rate there are going to be more books on Roger Clemens than on Abraham Lincoln ... and why not? Lincoln never kept apartments in 12 different cities for all of his women....