yo Page 766 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Introducing The Dugout's "Football Guys"
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

John Maine Loves The Little Black Dress
If we know anything about baseball players, we know that they love to dress up in women's clothing. This is a verifiable fact, as true as the nose on your face and the whet of your whistle. Witness Exhibit 2732-A, Mets pitcher John Maine....

Don Imus Just Can't Quit You
If you prefer your radio hosts with faces like a 90-year-old saddle, then it's time to rejoice: Don Imus is back on the air! Was it really only eight months ago that the infamous "nappy-headed hos" comment about the Rutgers women's basketball team sent the nation into a tither? Well, he's back, on W...

Ashley Young Wants You To Know His Body As Well As He Does
You see, now, this is what American sports desperately needs more of: Athletic superstars who masturbate on their Web cams. And you thought Curt Schilling's blog had poor spelling!...

Lou Holtz - 60 Years = Jason Krause
Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on ...

Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Oh, This Is Just Sad
So it's at this point in the Knicks' season where we hear the band leader say "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure and an honor playing with you," and then, as the ship creaks and begins its slow descent into the sea, they play the final hymn of "Nearer My God to Thee." (Later Fred Jones will be found f...

The NL's Best Pitchers Hunt And Hit College Bars Together
When we were the sports editor at the Daily Illini, Illinois head coach Lou Henson and his wife Mary invited us into their home, and we drank hot tea and ate chocolate on their porch while we discussed Jerry Hester, Kiwane Garris and next year's team. We are realizing today that we were sports edi...

The Raw Joy Of The Covering The New York Knicks
We know: The life of a beat reporter is a glamorous, joyous one. Every night is like a private party in which there are unicorns and rainbows. But when you're a Knicks beat reporter, you're living the life fantastic....

About Last Night
What you missed while tipping a glass to the late Robert Cade ... • College basketball: You may resume hating Duke; Blue Devils 82, Badgers 58. • NHL: Milestone, shootout, lots of Canadians. Montreal 4, Toronto 3. • Soccer: Beckham sustains an injury Down Under....

Perhaps It's Time To Let Eli Manning Go
OK, let's all just get together and agree on this, so we don't have to unduly pick on the guy: Eli Manning isn't any good. Like, at all. Obviously, his last name has offered him "potential" status long past the expiration date, but we think all of us, along with Eli himself, would be a lot happier i...

It's The End Times, People!
Not sure exactly what's going on, but just to be sure that God isn't up to some sort of Armageddon-like shenanigans, if you need me I'll be in a sealed grotto at the zoo. The Warriors — whom I believe began the season 0-6 — trounced the Suns on Monday, but that's not the big news. The Knicks have no...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after experiencing the joy and wonder of the holiday season ... • College basketball: Wake Forest at Iowa. Or as they call it there, a caucus. [ESPN2] • NFL: Miami at Pittsburgh. This would be something, it if were 1974. [ESPN] • NHL: Buffalo at Washington. Welcome to the Verizon Cente...

We've Been Punk'd By The Chargers
This story is a couple of days old, but by now you may know that the hippopotamus-in-the-swimming-pool story was a fake. Chargers' assistant coach Steve Crosby — who claimed that a hippo ended up in the pool at his Escondido home during the recent wildfires — admitted that the made up the story "to ...

About Last Night
What you missed while listening to the "I'm Not There" soundtrack ... • NFL: Patriots 31, Eagles 28. Among the highlights; Al Michaels calling it "a dogfight." Everyone in Vick's cellblock got a kick out of that one. • College basketball: A nice win over Arizona to salve the Jayhawks' football wound...

NY Baseball Players Love Dem Reggaeton Beats
Still crawling out of that Thanksgiving-induced coma? Need an activity to help burn a few of those 10,000 calories of food and alcohol you just packed on? Then why not turn up Hector El Father's Pa' La Tumba — complete with Jose Reyes, Melky Cabrera and Robinson Cano cameos — and get your hot regga...