yo Page 790 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Thanks For The Memories (At Least The Ones We Could Stay Up Late Enough For)
We salute the Golden State Warriors for the ride they've taken us on, but after last night's once-again-convincing 100-87 Jazz victory, they're the first team to be eliminated from the conference semifinals. And the Warriors fans are rather Zen about the whole thing....
Last Call For Bandwagonners
We've never been as offended by bandwagon fans as most people are. When Bill Murray started following around the Illini during their Final Four year, we didn't mind: It was Bill Murray, for crying out loud....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after another trip to the penis burn ward ... • NBA: Playoffs, conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 5; Golden State at Utah, Game 5. Mulder believes the Warriors still have a chance. Scully does not. [TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, Western Conference final, Detroit at Anaheim, Game 3...
Eric Mangini Will Look For Help From Men In Tights
For all the talk that Bill Belichick is a genius — genius with your WIFE! — it's his former assistant Eric Mangini, with the Jets, who's making the real "Look at me, I'm a mad scientist!" moves. Witness the Jets' rookie minicamp, to which Mangini invited two potential Olympic wrestlers. This even th...
Pity The Poor Buffalo Fan
Heading into the NHL playoffs, the subplot we were most excited about involved the Buffalo Sabres, a team with a long-suffering but rabid — we mean literally rabid; it's in the Buffalo drinking water — fanbase and a No. 1 seed. After they beat the Rangers, it all appeared to be coming together. At l...
The Suns And Spurs Won't Stop Punching Each Other, And It's Awesome
Did you ever wonder just how entertaining those old Knicks-Heat slugfest series could have been had, you know, the actual basketball being played was even slightly tolerable to the eyes? That what this Spurs-Suns series has become: Two amazing teams who play entirely different games trying to force ...
Last Call To Keep Any Of These Close
The general consensus, to this point, is that the Jazz-Warriors and Pistons-Bulls series are pretty much over: The favorites up 3-1 with two home games to close it out. Well, if the Nets and Suns can't hold serve tonight, they might be well be in the same position....
Carmelo Anthony Should Live Rather Comfortably
Over the weekend, The Rocky Mountain News told the tale of Carmelo Anthony's new pad in suburban Denver. (Via Slushy Gutter.) The place originally was listed at $17 million, but its price was "slashed" to a far more modest $11.95 million. Some great factoids:...
Apparently, The Warriors Can Lose At Home
In their their preview of the Suns-Spurs series, Free Darko, describing Stephen Jackson and the Golden State Warriors, wrote, "Stephen Jackson doesn't care because he has nothing to lose, and thus is invincible." For the first time, last night, his team looked like it cared, like it had a lot to los...
The Bulls Aren't Castrated Quite Yet
The Pistons got a little cocky after Game 3, when they took two quarters off, and then still managed to rout the Bulls. They tried the same routine today, but extended it to three quarters, even going so far as to put up a 13-point third quarter and go down by 20. But they couldn't make quite enough...
Alex Rodriguez, Amateur Urologist
Not to be outdone by the Brewers and their rectal exams, Alex Rodriguez appears to have decided to give Yankees pitcher Chien-Ming Wang a free urological exam in the middle of the game....
The Suns Have Made Tim Duncan Into A Bully
In the press conferences following the Spurs/Suns game yesterday, the same reporter asked both Tim Duncan and Mike D'Antoni if they thought the series was physical....
Baron Davis Climbs Andrei Kirilenko
If you watch closely, you can see Andrei Kirilenko looking back at Baron Davis afterwards, as if to say, "You know, that really wasn't necessary." Even Adonal Foyle crinkled up his nose in a "Damn that was nasty," kind of a way. When Adonal Foyle acknowledges the nastiness, you know things just got ...
NHL Stanley Cup Pants Party: Red Wings Vs. Ducks
We have always found it amusing that Anaheim decided to take the positive modifier "Mighty" out of its name; we know they wanted to avoid the Disney context, but usually when there's a "Fighting" or a "Runnin'" in there, it's supposed to be a good thing. Now they are Ducks, simply Ducks....
Pistons Finally Tire Of Toying With Bulls
Remember in the last game of the NBA regular season, when the Bulls simply needed a victory over the Nets to clinch the No. 2 seed in the Eastern Conference? If they hadn't lost that game, this Bulls-Pistons whitewash could have been our conference finals; this could be all there is....
About Last Night
What you missed while sitting on the sofa, eating chocolate pie ... • NHL: Oleg Saprykin cannot be contained this time of year. Senators 5, Sabres 2. • NBA: The Bulls, down 3-0 to the Pistons, can't even get all their players to show up on time. Wow. • MLB: OK, good win by Wakefield and the Red Sox....
NHL Stanley Cup Pants Party: Sabres Vs. Senators
And here, you thought we were completely ignoring the NHL playoffs. To remind you: Canuck please!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Boris Mironov fails to outwit moose and squirrel ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Detroit at Chicago, Game 3. Bulls were just waiting for the right moment to pounce. [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference finals, Ottawa at Buffalo, Game 1. We should, like, buy a case of Labatt Bl...
You Will Honor "God Bless America," Or The Yankees Will Have You Shot
We want to make this absolutely clear: We love America. We love it. We love the freedom to speak our mind, we love we are allowed to wear American flag underpants, we love that we can super size any combo meal, regardless of which sandwich we choose. We love it here....
Wild Nights In Salt Lake City
Just Call Me Juice points out what we're all thinking but are afraid to admit: These NBA playoffs have been so much more entertaining than the NCAA Tournament. (Assuming, of course, you ignore the Eastern Conference.) Last night's wild overtime thriller, a mad hatter 127-117 Jazz win over the Warrio...