york Page 243 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hey Look, Someone Actually Bet That The First Score In Giants/Cowboys Would Be A Safety
"ACCVentures" over in the Covers.com forums put down $22 at 50-1 that the first score in Sunday Night Football would be a safety. Seems kind of low, and he had to play each team separately, but he's got $1100 and you don't....

Report: Derek Jeter Once Again Plowing Everything In Sight
Baseball season never ends for the New York Post. Derek Jeter's in the news today because he's reportedly back in the game with a vengeance. After breaking up with Minka Kelly, Jeter is "bedding a bevy of beauties" (because the Post lives in the 1960s) and diluting the collectibles market at the sam...

Last Night's Giants-Cowboys Game, Reduced To Its Al Michaels-Stupefying Lead Changes
Last night's prime time football game gave us some of the most exciting action of the day—a rarity this season.The Giants-Cowboys game was full of lead changes, and Al Michaels was on top of it, constantly providing an updated tally for the viewer....

Brandon Jacobs Likes To Dance Dirty
It was bad enough that Brandon Jacobs elected to dance on the star in the Cowboys end zone, but the manner in which the Giants running back got jiggy appeared to be his attempt at eroticism. It gave New York a short-lived lead, and at the half Dallas leads 17-15....

Artem Anisimov Breaks Out The Boomstick, Righteously Pisses Off The Lightning
After scoring his fifth goal of the season, a shorthanded tally in a tie game, Rangers center Artem Anisimov lowered the sights, pumped his stick, and let fly with one of the more demonstrative celebrations of the year. The Lightning took offense and swarmed Anisimov, setting off a penalty bonanza...

Everything That's Wrong With <em>Monday Night Football</em>, In One <em>New Yorker</em> Paragraph
There's a long profile of Jon Gruden in this week's New Yorker, which, frankly, is a little like opening up Guns & Ammo and finding a profile of Noam Chomsky, but there it is nonetheless, a zillion finely wrought words about this guy. Two passages are worth noting....

Dion Phaneuf's Dad Gets High Fives After His Son Decapitates A Ranger
The NHL's radical realignment means four conferences that will need names, so how about the Michael Sauer Memorial Conference after the late Rangers defenseman, taken in the prime of his life by this clean hit from last night. Just kidding! He's not dead. He's being evaluated by doctors with an "u...

What Losing Jose Reyes Really Means For Mets Fans
In eighth grade I wrote a poem about Jose Reyes, the Miami Marlins' new shortstop. The poem wasn't so good. I wrote it in Reyes's gregarious broken English, in which every third utterance is "you know" or "man." But I had to write something quickly for a class, and in April 2005, nothing captivated ...

Charles Woodson Congratulates Hakeem Nicks On One-Handed Touchdown Grab
Nicks makes a great catch and Woodson gives him a little congratulatory fist bump....

Teens' Dispute Over Mickey Mantle Card Leads To Fork Stabbing
A 17-year-old boy from central Pennsylvania faces "assault and harassment charges after jamming the fork into a fellow teen's arm while they fought over a Mickey Mantle baseball card." Hardcore, kids. What's wrong with a simple noogie? [AP]...

Chris Paul Is Going To Go Be Awesome Wherever He Damn Well Wants
Chris Paul is a bad person for wanting to choose where he lives and works? Is that really the narrative we're going with? OK....

Jeff Francoeur Enticed Jonathan Broxton By Taking Him Hunting At Jeff Foxworthy's House
We brought you the preliminary details of this courtship in HOTFUCKINGSTOVE yesterday, but we buried the lead. Jeff Francoeur didn't just lure fatass reclamation project du jour Jonathan Broxton to the Kansas City Royals by taking him on a bow-hunting trip. Francoeur lured Broxton by taking him on a...

It Took All Of 16 Seconds For Sean Avery To Get Into A Fight With The Penguins
Calling it a "fight" is a bit misleading—the participants were only assessed two minute roughing minors—but the efficiency by which it was commenced is worth noting, especially since Sean Avery didn't appear to actually start this fight with the Penguins' Tyler Kennedy. (He took a more active part...

When Something Falls On The Ground In New Orleans, Don't Put It In Your Mouth
Reader Craig sends in this video of Justin Tuck dropping his mouthguard during last night's game, then popping it right back in his mouth. Tuck is clearly unfamiliar with the bylaw to the Five-Second Rule that states that if the item in question is moist or sticky, let it go man, because it's gone...

One Jet Thinks Stevie Johnson's "Airplane" TD Celebration Was A 9/11 Reference
You thought Bob Costas was stupid? You clearly didn't know how stupid human beings could get when discussing end zone celebrations. That apotheosis belongs to Jets tackle Sione Pouha, who's convinced that Stevie Johnson was out to mock the death of thousands....

Brandon Jacobs Stands Behind What He Said About Giants Fans, Still Enjoying His New Nissan
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Yes, Jacobs's " new fast-ass car" is a Nissan....

Stevie Johnson Beats Revis, Makes Touchdown Catch, Mocks Plax In TD Celebration
Stevie Johnson, who one presumes has yet to forget being forsaken by God, trolled the Jets hard after getting clearance from Darrelle Revis to catch a touchdown pass from Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick—first pantomiming a Plaxico Burress club self-shooting, then performing the airplane... that crashed....

Jose Reyes Seinfeld The Puppy Begs Jose Reyes The Human To Stay With The Mets
Jerry Seinfeld is a Mets fan, for some masochistic reason. Being a Mets fan means always having to say they’re sorry. But one silver lining is the very real chance of re-signing Jose Reyes, so that they can pay him $15 million when he’s 36 years old, which is the soonest possible time the team will ...

The NFL Fined Rex Ryan $75,000 For Telling That Fan To Shut The Fuck Up
You'll recall that, after the Patriots beat up the Jets last Sunday, a fan suggested to Rex that Belichick was a better coach, and Ryan snapped. He apologized the next day....

The Eagles' Nine-Minute Game-Winning Drive in 90 Seconds
To the surprise of just about everyone last night, Vince Young—whose play up until this point in the game could generously be described as erratic—led an 18-play, 80-yard death march of a touchdown drive that would eventually decide the game. Here's the drive, condensed into a much more palatable ...