you Page 102 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The WJC Was Won By Orcs
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Don't Worry: In The Event Of An NFL Lockout, Bob Costas Will Still Get Paid
Here's a letter from Mary Cavallaro of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. In it, she assures the NFL broadcasters among her membership that they'll still get paid their current salary even if there are no NFL games to broadcast....

Remembering The "Lorchcast," Worst Sportscast Ever
On Dec. 19, 1995, Matt Lorch, a fill-in sportscaster for KHQA in Quincy, Illinois, endured nearly six minutes on-air with malfunctioning videos, unplanned catch-phrases, and one of the most heartbreaking sighs ever sighed. Fifteen years later, we remember Lorchcast....

John Salley Story Corner: Jacking It Won't Help Your Prostate
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: a therapeutic digression on the benefits of intercourse....

Video Proof That Traveling Doesn't Exist Anymore
Where, you might ask, do our nation's NBA players get the idea that two steps is just a suggested limit? It starts early. PIVOT FOOT, YOU LITTLE CHEATER, NOT PIVOT FEET....

Illinois Men's Basketball Team Plays Better Basketball When Using A Men's Basketball
No. 17 Illinois got off to a slow start against Oakland tonight. They were down 15-6 in the first half when players complained to a ref that the game ball felt light. That's because it was a women's regulation basketball....

The Day William Rhoden Published The Wrong Column About The "Retrograding" Patriots
On Monday afternoon, the New York Times website published a William Rhoden column titled "The Day the Patriots Empire Began to Crumble." But it was actually The Day the Patriots Earned the NFL's Best Record. The Times regrets the error....

Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater: Barry Sanders
Welcome to Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater. Today's entry: Lions great Barry Sanders set to Clint Mansell & The Kronos Quartet's overture from the Requiem For A Dream soundtrack....

Stuart Scott's Unfortunately Timed And Therefore Highly Ironic F-Bomb Gaffe
Stu Scott was hyping an upcoming replay of Derek Anderson's meltdown last night when, in describing the cough button that "bleeps" out curse words on TV, Scott accidentally used a curse word on TV....

Saddest News Ever: Leslie Nielsen Passes Away
Yes, the deadpan-est of deadpan comedic actors is now dead. DUAN! varmints, please give him a fond farewell in the comments section by reciting your favorite Drebin/Dr. Alan Rumack lines.That would be me...I've been swimming in raw sewage. [Hollywood Reporter]...

The Awkward Team Photos Of Our Awkward Youth (And One Dog): A Gallery
We asked for photos of America's uncomfortably posed youth athletes, and you delivered. Please enjoy....

Crazy Old Coots Still Bemoaning Felix Hernandez's Cy Young Award
Joe Morgan may be gone, but his ignorant spirit lives on. Murray Chass and Phil Rogers wonder how in the world Hernandez could be the best pitcher if he didn't have the most wins. Yes, we're still having this damn discussion....

Vince Young Just Can't Pull Himself Together
Remember in the summer of 2009 when VY was all ballsy and told Esquire that he'd be the next "next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl" And "be in the Hall of Fame"? Probably not with the Titans....

How To Make Your Own Four Loko
The FDA is going to ban caffeinated malt liquor beverages very soon. Gone will be Joose and gone will be our precious, disgusting Four Loko. Luckily, you will be prepared for the 21st century prohibition with this helpful video....

Tony Parker's And Eva Longoria's Bland Fairytale Comes To An End
Parker filed for divorce yesterday from his wife of three years. Spurs games just became less interesting, if that's possible. [TMZ]...

With One Tired Sitcom Punchline, We Lose All Our Sympathy For Cleveland
Yesterday, How I Met Your Mother featured a LeBron James joke. It wasn't like the LeBron James jokes we've seen elsewhere on TV because it was just lazy as all hell and made me realize how tired I am of Cleveland's martyrdom....

Niche Sports Romance Goes All Soap Opera
Olympic speed-skater Joey Cheek dumped billionaire heiress Georgina Bloomberg (NYC's mayor's daughter) while she was in the hospital recovering from a show-jumping accident. Concussion, fractured vertebra, broken heart. [NY Post]...

Joe Morgan Was Our Hans Gruber
Emma Span wishes a fond farewell to Joe Morgan, the archvillain who made "it so much fun to play the righteous underdog." (How do you think we got Die Hard?) [Bronx Banter]...

My Uncomfortable Encounter With An Angry Joe Morgan
In 2005, I wrote a story for SF Weekly about the now-unemployed Joe Morgan, who at the time was leading a proudly ignorant rearguard action against Michael Lewis's Moneyball. Joe and I met one Sunday before a Giants game and chatted for a while about the book (which he hadn't read). Joe got a little...

Young Philip Rivers Did Not Make Funny Faces, Apparently Wanted To Play For The Bears
"I discovered I went to elementary school with Phillip [sic] Rivers (he's 2 years older)," wrote commenter Gottliebs Cards. "If anyone is interested I'll scan some pics." Interested? You bet your ass we're mildly kind of halfway interested....