you Page 136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you settle down for a long winter's nap ... • NFL: Denver at San Diego. (8 p.m.) Shanahan looks as close to an elf as you're gonna get. [ESPN] • Movie: How The Grinch Stole Christmas (8 p.m.) They say that Belichick's heart grew three sizes that day. [ABC] • Movie: The Godfather (9 ...

Brigham Da Noise, Brigham Da Funk
We've been fortunate so far that most of the bowl games have given us actual watchable football. Sure, while many of the games are devoid of tradition ("New Mexico! It's ... culture!") but so what? The way the bowl system is set up, fans normally bludgeoned with story after story of Tim Tebow and Le...

About Last Night...
What you missed while publicly executing Santa Claus... • NFL: Matt Moore was disrupted by printouts of ... your mom. Cowboys escape Carolina with a 20-13 win. • NCAA Football: Best two out of three then? BYU avenges regular season loss to UCLA in the Las Vegas Bowl. • NCAA Basketball: Oregon loses ...

Let's Take Off This Mask And See Who You REALLY Are
Congratulations to photographer Chris Detrick, who offers up a strong 11th hour entry into Most Disturbing Sports Photo Of The Year. The guy getting his eyes plucked out is BYU's Jonathan Tavernari. The poker is Jason Walberg. Oddly enough, there was no foul on this play, and Tavernari seems to have...

About Last Night...
What you missed while explaining the jerkoff motion to your co-workers... • NCAA Football: SCHNELL! SCHNELL! Florida Atlantic quickly builds a football program and wins a bowl game. • NHL: Pssh. Ancient Chinese secret. Calgary falls to Dallas in overtime. • NBA: Portland's win streak is at 10, they'...

About Last Night
What you missed while preparing for the Global Orgasm For Peace ... • NFL: Willie Parker will be able to use the handicapped parking space at Steelers practice all next week. Pittsburgh 41, St. Louis 24. • College football: Navy and Utah pound each other like the Monitor and the Merrimack until one ...

Michael Vick Does Not Approve
We haven't quite wrapped our minds around this alleged news that Jonathan Papelbon's dog at the clinching ball from the World Series last year. We're not sure we believe it....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as clowns surround your house and lob in water balloons ... • College basketball: Memphis at Cincinnati, 7 p.m. (ET). My bearcat and I will be right in front of the TV. [ESPN2] • NBA: Detroit at Boston, 7 p.m. (ET); Phoenix at Dallas, 9:30 p.m. (ET). Your NBA Playoff semifinalists? Pos...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you listen to Travis Barker "Superman dat drum kit" ... • College Basketball: Memphis vs. Middle Tennessee State. Make Rep. Bart Gordon proud, MTSU. [ESPN2] • World Extreme Cagefighting: Crunkilton vs. McCullough. Please don't feed the animals. [VS.] • Movie: The Notebook. "I love t...

Last Chance To Buy Outdated T-Shirt
Anyone who has been annoyed — read: us — by the odd advertisements for Gawker Media T-shirts over the last month is in luck: The Gawker Shop is closing down, and you won't be bothered again. This also means this is your last chance to buy that "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirt before it vanishes for...

Everything Can Change In A Blink
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....


Turning A Weary Eye Towards Football
• 1:00 or 4:00 — NFL: FOX Distribution Map [FOX] • 1:00 and 4:00 — NFL: CBS Distribution Maps: Early and Late [CBS] • 1:00 — Movie: Big Trouble [Comedy Central] • 2:30 — Soccer: Serie A, Milan vs. Torino [FSC] • 2:30 — Dog Show!: Pro-Plan Champions Cup [ESPN] • 3:00 — Movie: Lean on Me [BET] • 4:00 ...

Plucky Wizards Can't Hang With the Suns
The Washington Wizards have played better than expected since the loss of Gilbert Arenas, but there wasn't much of anything they could do to stop Phoenix. The Suns recorded a flat-out ridiculous 42 assists on their 50 field goals. If I hadn't been there to see it I'm not sure I would have believed i...

He Seems To Have Thought Of Everything: How In The World Did This Not Work?
So this guy robs a bank, and during his getaway he stops at a salon about a block away for hair extensions and a manicure (by now you've guessed that this occurred in Florida). But that's not the best part. The loot he stole was booby trapped, and during his escape it exploded, covering him in red d...

About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...

Ashley Young Wants You To Know His Body As Well As He Does
You see, now, this is what American sports desperately needs more of: Athletic superstars who masturbate on their Web cams. And you thought Curt Schilling's blog had poor spelling!...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

About Last Night
What you missed while tipping a glass to the late Robert Cade ... • College basketball: You may resume hating Duke; Blue Devils 82, Badgers 58. • NHL: Milestone, shootout, lots of Canadians. Montreal 4, Toronto 3. • Soccer: Beckham sustains an injury Down Under....