you Page 145 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Seriously, Would It Kill You To Sexually Arouse Dick Bavetta?
Isiah Thomas, after stealing Zach Randolph and being complimented by Spike Lee on draft night, enjoyed one day of good publicity. Today, Anucha Browne Sanders, who is suing Isiah for sexual harassment, would like to remind us that Isiah is, in many ways, still a dick....

Come "Party" With Daequan Cook
According to the most recent — and, we presume, the final — NBADraft.net projection — Ohio State guard Daequan Cook is slated to be drafted tonight with the 22nd pick by the Charlotte Bobcats. We hope it works out for him, because he's hosting a party tonight, and it's totally gonna be embarrassing ...

"Hey, Guys! It's Oliver!"
Maybe we just couldn't muster up the incredible enthusiasm of these "baseball" "players."...

Dock Ellis Understands Why He Is Famous
You thought it was funny — or perhaps just disgraceful — when Pete Rose started signing baseballs with "I'M SORRY I BET ON BASEBALL: PETE ROSE." But Dock Ellis (as Dock Ellis tends to do) one-ups Pete with his own unique way of branding memorabilia....

The Gyroball Rock
A little late on this, but if you were wondering whether Daisuke Matsuzaka was blessed with musical talent, rest assured, folks, the guy has mad vocal skillz. And by "mad vocal skills," we mean, he warbles songs to warm your heart and soul. He's like the Japanese Oprah....

Nobody Cares About Your Fantasy Team
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....

China Insists That Boston And Philly Are Grand Places For The Chinese
The NBA Draft is now just three days away, and since everybody knows how the first two picks are going down, the main intrigue — other than the usual sartorial speculation — involves the three Florida players and Chinese mystery Yi Jianlian. He's either Dirk Nowitzki or Wang Zhi-Zhi, and he's either...

Rod Beck Is Dead At 38
Former Major League closer Rod Beck has passed away at the age of 38. He died yesterday in Phoenix, and the cause of death, at this time, is still unknown. Beck closed for the Giants, Cubs, Red Sox and Padres, and amassed 286 career saves....

Paul Lo Duca's Inspiring Idiocy
• I'm Sorry, Italians. Paul Lo Duca calls it a "good Italian temper," but I'm going to choose to think a little more highly of the Italian-American population, and call Lo Duca's display childish, dumb, and embarrassing. The idiot Mets catcher was thrown out of the game for arguing balls and strikes...

Chris Berman Wants The Kids To Learn From The Master
A reader, whom we suspect represents a large swath of the Deadspin demographic, wrote us this morning:...

A Q&A With Sen. Chris Dodd
Unlike most of the rest of America, we're already entranced by the 2008 Presidential race, even though we're, uh, still 17 months away from the election. (We have a history of being way too into this business way too early.) At this point, most candidates are just trying to raise money and elbow for...

All The Big Stars Come Out To St. Louis
Texas Tech coach Bob Knight and "Arliss" — sorry: "Arli$$" — star Robert Wuhl were guests of Cards manager Tony La Russa during last night's brutal, nasty, hideously played 14-inning Cardinals-Royals game. (The Cardinals won, but it was not something they should be proud of.)...

Kenny Anderson Will Make You Sweat
In non-Reggie Theus coaching news, yesterday, former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson was hired yesterday for a new coaching gig. And it's in that favorite place for us to drop by from time to time: The CBA! Since we saw you last, CBA, you've pared down a lot of your teams, though the Butte Daredevils...

Police Make It Rain On Pac Man
So much for Pac Man Jones just being an innocent bystander in that strip club shooting ... he's been formally charged with two counts of felony coercion....

Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...

The Real Irony Is They Just Mopped That Street
Many years from now, when we all have personal jet packs and Brett Favre finally retires, mop jousting will be as commonplace at buttered toast. ESPN will have four channels devoted to it, all hosted by Mike Golic. Your kid will be in a mop jousting league. Every family will own at least seven mops....

The USFL Lives On Through Golf Scrambles
The Wizard Of Odds tips us off to quite the reunion this weekend: It's the 25th anniversary of the USFL! Yes, the football league in which the most powerful person was Donald Trump — never a good sign....

We Like The Way He Talks And He Likes The Way We Talk, Mmm Hmm
With the news yesterday that running back Quincy Wilson has become the 10th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested in the past 14 months, we now need the measured, no-nonsense sports commentary of Kige Ramsey more than ever. If you're unfamiliar, just think of him as the Jason Whitlock of Youtube ... if, ...

Why Would The Orioles Ever Need To Make A Change?
We don't mean to imply that it might be a tough time for Cubs fans, but now their executives are jumping ship to the Orioles....

Surely, President Bush's Favorite Day Of The Year
Occasionally, when President Bush meets a sports team that has won a title, it means something. When the Red Sox visited after winning the World Series in 2004, not only was it a historic victory, but it also allowed Curt Schilling — who had campaigned heavily for Bush after the Red Sox won — to rec...