you Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Can Pry My Headphone Jack From My Cold Dead Hands
I purchased my last iPhone in the summer of 2016 and I’m still using it. But this blog is not a boast about how I am resisting consumerism and striking a blow against Apple’s dedication to planned obsolescence. I’m not bragging about how I haven’t (yet) dropped my phone in the toilet. The purchase d...
Trae Young Has The Freedom To Chuck These Stupid-Fun Three-Pointers From The Logo
Twenty-one games in, Hawks rookie Trae Young has had his moments. Barring catastrophic injury to Luka Doncic and Jaren Jackson Jr., and, honestly, some other dudes too, Young won’t be the Rookie of the Year, but he’s been an entertaining strain of semi-bad that you can really get behind....
Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out
José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....
Brett Kavanaugh's Still Coaching Basketball
Brett Kavanaugh’s still got coaching on his calendar after all. ...
Goddamnit, Cy Young Voter Who Snubbed Jacob deGrom Is A W-L Guy
I didn’t know a lot about San Diego Union-Tribune writer John Maffei (but not, weirdly, baseball writer) before today. I know everything about now, even from very limited data....
On Subletting Headspace At No Cost
The language that Joel Embiid uses can be taken as an ice core sample of the language the internet is using at any given time. The Sixers center is one of the NBA’s savviest disciples of the Do-It-For-The-‘Gram ethos, a skilled user of meme and timely dialect, always hitting the right notes to Maxi...
Oh Man, De'Aaron Fox Is So Much Fun
De’Aaron Fox spent his Thursday night leading the plucky Kings to a dominant road win in Atlanta. I do not expect you to take that very seriously! There are data points you mark in the The Kings Might Be Good column—a 6–3 record; road wins over the Thunder and Heat; a five-game winning streak; offen...
Mail Bombing Suspect Appears To Be Incoherently Passionate About Youth Soccer
Florida man Cesar Sayoc, Jr., 56, was arrested today in the investigation of a dozen suspected mail bombs intended for George Soros, Barack Obama, the Clintons, Joe Biden, former CIA Director John Brennan, former national intelligence chief James Clapper, former Attorney General Eric Holder, Sen. C...
Trae Young Is Letting It Fly
Trae Young was a tempting punchline leading up to the draft, and even for sometime after. You can count me among those doubters, at least to the extent that I foresaw a future in which he the teeny depraved chucker would get steadily shredded on the other end of the floor. Which is to say, I foresaw...
Can Breaking Become An Olympic Sport And Still Keep Its Soul?
If you missed the debut of breaking as an event at the 2018 Youth Olympic Games in Buenos Aires, Argentina last week, you missed another first—the crowning of a gold medalist named Bumblebee. The other medalists were also mononymous. The silver medalist was Martin from France. And in third place the...
I Am The Youngest Pro Shuffleboard Player In Florida
It’s 9:05 a.m. While my friends and pretty much everyone my own age are getting settled behind desks and spreadsheets and scheduling the day’s meetings, I’m surrounded by senior citizens, about to make the first shot of my pro season. It’s already 90 degrees and my bald head is pouring sweat into my...
Iowa State Accelerates The Marching Band Arms Race With Inflatable Dinosaur Costumes
Iowa State upset 13th-ranked West Virginia 30-14 Saturday, which is of some consequence in the landscape of college football, but who cares—look at the dinosaurs. There are so many of them!...
Trae Young Did A Very Trae Young Thing To Beat The Spurs
Look, I know it’s just preseason, and just a few hours ago I yelled, “You’re all freaks!” at my colleagues because they preferred to watch pointless NBA games tonight instead of a competitive Stanley Cup Final rematch. But this game-winning trey from Trae Young is worth your time, even if you’re a h...
Report: Washington Cheerleading Program Undergoing "Family Friendly" Changes In Wake Of Escort Scandal
The fallout from the revelation that the Washington NFL team deployed its cheerleaders as escorts for sponsors and suite holders on a trip to Costa Rica in 2013, among other abuses, has finally produced some small progress in the way the team treats its cheerleaders. Thursday the team announced a nu...
Cristiano Ronaldo Told He CANNOT Play Against Young Boys<em></em>
Young Boys can rest easy, knowing that this menace has been forbidden from going at them....
Luka Modrić Wins FIFA's Dumb Little "The Best" Award
Individual awards in soccer are inherently silly and effectively meaningless. FIFA’s premier individual award has been rendered even sillier and less meaningful recently after soccer mag France Football regained ownership of the actually prestigious Ballon d’Or, causing FIFA to invent their own “The...
Chip The Buffalo Destroyed His Dick And Balls With A T-Shirt Cannon<em></em>
No point in keeping you waiting for this one—on Saturday, Chip the Buffalo, Colorado’s sideline mascot, blasted his dick and balls with damn t-shirt cannon and by the grace of God, someone had their phone out to film the vicious neutering of what was once a happy-go-lucky creature....
A Frank Talk About Jacking It With Your Pals
The NFL: It’s for sure happening again, and it’s fine. It’s not ideal, a lot of it is really honestly pretty bad and shitty to watch, but it’s happening. There’s no way around the fact that it’s certainly happening. The games count, and that some of it at least is fine; the Browns and Steelers tied,...
I Drafted My Fantasy Team Based On A Rigorous Evaluation Of NFL Players' Social Media Personalities
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
I Ate Like A Football Player And Suffered Like A Blogger
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....