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We Need To Talk About <em>True Detective</em> (No, We Don't)
If you want news about the second season of True Detective, a gritty HBO anthology series that just wrapped its wildly popular first season in March, you don't have to look very hard....

“Wheels On The Bus” On YouTube: A Distressed Father’s Guide
So my firstborn son is obsessed with "Wheels on the Bus," and will sing it at the slightest provocation, or with no provocation at all, really. He's three ("a young three," as noted by now multiple polite but clearly frazzled instructors at toddler-activity sessions he's disrupted by, for example, f...

Bill Murray Crashes Bachelor Party, Gives Awesome Speech
In the video above, you see shape-shifting coyote trickster god Bill Murray walking in on a bachelor party in Charleston, dishing out some advice to everyone EXCEPT the groom. Here's reader Stephen with the background:...

Rugby Player Congratulates Opponent Who Punched Him Out
I'm no expert when it comes to rugby, but I think that it's safe to say that we have finally reached Peak Rugby, and it's all thanks to Tom Youngs and Salesi Ma'afu....

MLB Network Puts Mitch Williams On Hiatus
MLB Network analyst Mitch Williams is on an indefinite leave of absence from the league-owned cable channel after a series of incidents at a youth baseball tournament that witnesses tell us included the former big-league hurler calling a ten-year-old "a pussy."...

The Lawyer Who Blocked Kevin Durant
Last week, Brice Plebani stopped by the Seat Pleasant Activity Center in Prince George's County, Md., to drop off a graduation invitation. ...

Please Adopt This Cat Named "Eli Manning"
Are you looking to own a cat? If you're around New York City/Long Island, adopt Eli Manning....

No Flops: A Treasury Of Pro Athletes' Vanity Record Labels
Listen, love is love, clap the gat at y'all hatersThe CEO of your label is a basketball player That mean your shit is never coming outSean Price, I'm forever dumbing out, pyrex—Sean Price, "Pyrex"...

Which Words Are Used To Describe White And Black NFL Prospects?
Do NFL scouts talk about white players and black players differently? Are certain words reserved for white players? Are others used primarily to describe black players?...

Why Rich Lacrosse Parents Are Making Their Kids Repeat A Grade
In the lax-crazy scholastic sports scene of the high-end Washington D.C. market, a game between Landon School and Georgetown Prep is essentially 'Skins vs. Cowboys, except with more people named Topper. They're two of the fancy-pantsiest all-boys secondary schools in the area, and their athletic riv...

WFAN Just Obliterated Mike Francesa's Most Effective Marketer
WFAN Audio, the internet's largest repository of Mike Francesa clips, was decimated today, as WFAN/CBS issued takedown notices on hundreds of YouTube videos. This is only notable to that small subset of the population who cares what Francesa's up to, but that's kind of the point—even fewer people ar...

Insane Handbook: Bills Cheerleaders Are Told How To Wash Their Vaginas
There are a few things you need to know if you want to be a successful Buffalo Bills cheerleader. “When menstruating, use a product that [sic] right for your menstrual flow,” reads the “General hygiene & lady body maintenance” section of the handbook given to cheerleaders, known as the Jills. “A tam...

Nick Young's First Pitch For The Dodgers Was Horrendous
Swaggy P threw out the first pitch for the Dodgers tonight. It was the opposite of swaggy....

Store-Bought Flavored Vodka Is Abominable. Make Your Own.
Despite what the liquor snobs'll tell you, vodka's always fine, and sometimes it's downright necessary. When you're dealing with a top-flight mixer such as fresh grapefruit juice or your own proprietary Bloody Mary blend (Spicy Hot V8 with a Bacos rim? You tricky devil!), you don't always want to gu...

Homemade Tomato Soup Is Easier (And Better) Than You Think
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Totino's Pizza Rolls. Campbell's Tomato Soup. These are all delicious, if corporate and perhaps a touch neon, foodstuffs. No snobbism here: I love these things, and it's pretttty likely that you—yes, you there, you reading this—love them, too. They're comforting. They're eas...

Suit: Bills Cheerleaders Were Taught How To Wash "Intimate Areas"
Now come five Buffalo Jills, joining the growing list of NFL cheerleaders suing their team for allegedly flouting state and federal employment laws. In many ways, their story shows how standardized these practices have become. But in terms of micromanagement, neither of the other cheerleading teams ...

Iggy Azalea's <em>The New Classic</em>: Not That Terrible, Not That Classic
Nick Young looks to be having the time of his life right now. The cocky L.A. shooting guard's style and humor were a bright spot for the struggling Lakers all season, and the artist otherwise known as Swaggy P finally made up for last month's hilarious premature celebration of a missed three, bowing...

Incredulous Tennis Player Warned For Saying "Son Of A Biscuit"
From a match at this weekend's Sarasota Open, Donald Young bowdlerized himself after hitting the ball into the net, but still earned himself a warning from the chair umpire. He then said "biscuit" like five more times, and the word lost all meaning for a bit....