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The Girl With The OKC Thunder Tattoo Wants To Bear Kendrick Perkins's Babies
Here, Priscilla and Ashley discuss, or at least make reference to, the Mavericks/Thunder series, manners, personal space(s), sweat flavor, stalking Awful Joey Crawford and whether inking prevents pregnancy, while Priscilla or Ashley gets "Thunder Up!" and "Rise Together" tattoos added to her inner...

Today In Sad Pittsburgh Headlines
Pittsburgh to honor Ward's 'Dancing' win on Thursday: "The city of Pittsburgh will hold a rally at noon Thursday to honor Hines Ward's victory in ABC-TV's 'Dancing with the Stars' competition." [Post-Gazette]...

Why Your Fans Are Weird: The Bunny Man Of Yankee Stadium
We've seen the Bunny Man at enough Yankee games over the years to know he's got season tickets, and the felt rabbit handpuppet is doing his thing 100 percent of the time. Throughout the entire game the bunny sits on his lap, watching the game—he moves the puppet's head to follow the action on the ...

Peyton And Eli Manning Are: <em>Football Cops</em>
Our tipster grabbed these photos and videos of the Brothers Manning filming in Greenpoint, Brooklyn last month. (He then promptly gave them to TMZ, which posted them much faster than we did.)...

Roger Goodell Is Waving His Dick Around Only Because He Loves Us So Much
Roger Goodell said some bullshit yesterday that, I swear, the Serious Football Media would've tsk-tsked as "counterproductive rhetoric" had anything so disingenuous come out of De Smith's mouth. Here's what the commisioner told Tampa Bay season ticketholders in a conference call:...

Which Cowboys Star Is Selling This Ridiculous Souped-Up Impala? (Update Maybe)
Time to reactivate the old eBay account, because holy shit look at this thing. I'm just going to paste the seller's description, because, my god....

The NFL Lockout Court Battle, Explained Via Pretty Word Clouds
Like bright colors? Hate the complexity of legal procedure? Well, not only are you the target audience for the NFL's lockout PR campaign, but you might also enjoy these visualizations we made out of the court documents from Brady et al v. National Football League. Above is a word cloud for all of th...

Today In Bothering The NFL With Stupid Questions: Ray Lewis One-Man Crime Wave Edition
Yesterday, Ray Lewis made some eye-opening comments about the lockout. "Watch how much evil, which we call crime," he told Sal Paolantonio, "watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game."...

The Evil Arrests That Ray Lewis Was Talking About Have Already Started
Free-agent backup running back Garrett Wolfe, late of the Chicago Bears, was charged with retail theft, disorderly conduct, assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest with violence in Miami this morning. This was Wolfe's first newsworthy event since Wednesday when he spoke to the Chicago Sun-...

Today In Great Quotes: Ray Lewis On How Evil Pertains To The Lockout
"Do this research if we don't have a season — watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game," Ray Lewis told ESPN's Sal Paolantonio....

Watch ESPN's Doris Burke Flub Her Lines About Oklahoma City Arena
Your morning roundup for May 22, the day some people in North Carolina started taking Pirates of the Caribbean too literally, but not in a cool swashbuckling way or anything....

Chris Berman On <em>You're With Me, Leather</em>: "Mr. Kornheiser Chose To Run With It."
While the long-standing Kornheiser-Berman beef doesn't have the same initial draw of, say, Beadle-Andrews, its appearance in Those Guys Have All The Fun does lead us to the alleged root of everyone's favorite alleged pick-up line: You're with me, Leather....

Hue Jackson Needs To Sell You Some Raider Tickets
There's this lockout thing, see? And with no football, the football teams that usually make money off of football, they can't make money. So that's bad for people who work for the teams, and not just the players: the coaches and execs and secretaries and janitors too. So a lot of teams are cutting s...

More Misplaced Rhetoric From Pro Football Talk
De Smith says the NFL is the "first league in the history of sports that has ever sued to not play their game," which, like a lot of slogans, isn't entirely accurate (the NFL hasn't sued), even if it accurately conveys the sense that the NFL is taking great pains to get its lockout. Mike Florio has ...

The Bizarre Cult Of Pro-Owner NFL Fanboys
Here's a tidy summation of how we've managed to get to where we are with the NFL lockout. A few years ago, the players and owners agreed to a new CBA, with only Ralph Wilson and Mike Brown voting against the agreement, in Wilson's case because he's old and easily confused by things....

NFL Lockout Back On (For Serious This Time)
First everyone reported that the 8th Circuit Court had issued a stay, putting the lockout back on. But then everyone said that, oops, no, nothing was decided yet. Well now they decided. Lockout!...

Lockout's Back On (UPDATE: Maybe Sort Of Not Yet)
Sorry, folks....

It's Only A Matter Of Time Before An NFL Team's Financials Are Leaked
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Roger Goodell Is Going To Be A Big Baby About This Lockout Until The Very End
Yesterday we brought you the gripping tales of players showing up to training facilities, only to find nothing going on and heading home. But at least one team grew a pair for a few hours: the Giants not only let DT Chris Canty into the complex to work in the weight room, but he met with Tom Coughli...

Dear Roger Goodell: This Is What A Typical NFL Career Looks Like
Roger Goodell recently took to the pulpit to debunk the popularly held notion that an NFL player's career lasts 3.5 years. The truth, Roger says, is that if you make an opening day roster as a rookie, your career will last almost six years; if you get drafted in the first round, it's nine years; and...