The Marlins Have Fired Ozzie Guillen

The Marlins have fired manager Ozzie Guillen, reports everybody, after a hilarious 69-93 season that included a five-game suspension, a feud with his closer, and a premature reality-show cancellation, and fell short of everyone's expectations. The Marlins were apparently unaware of Guillen's body of work in Chicago. On one hand, this is too bad, because the Marlins—who have done their part to provide us with compelling managers, such as 80-year-old Jack McKeon—will almost assuredly hire someone serious and boring to replace Ozzie. (The players presumably don't want this. Pitcher Ricky Nolasco tweeted "U gotta b fuckin shitting me" before deleting it.) But on the other hand, who cares? Fuck the Marlins.