Illustration by Sam Woolley/GMG

Are you one of the beautiful people heading to the frosty North for Super Bowl LII? Well then, you can toss all your other Super Bowl party invites in the urinal, because Deadspin is having a Very Large Adult Game party of its own. And it’s gonna be SO exclusive (open to the public) and SO fancy (a $10 ticket gets you three drinks) and SO goddamn sexy (we’re gonna do a live podcast for part of it) that it’ll make your nuts ache.

Buy your tickets here, but please note that only BIG BALLERS get to ball at this ball. If you are a small- to medium-range baller, you should stay the fuck at home. You’re not ready to ball at this level. Only true players can stand there awkwardly and listen to two dudes recap the week in sports lunacy, so BALL HARD OR DON’T BALL AT ALL! Here are the particulars:

Wednesday, January 31
Amsterdam Bar & Hall.
6 W 6th St, St Paul, MN 55102

Doors at 7 p.m.; Podcast at 8 p.m.
Tickets $10, include three drinks (Buy them here!)
21+, FEMALES ONLY (NOTE: Everyone else also welcome)

Also, if you show up and want a Funbag question answered live in person, just email me with the subject line MINNESOTA DEADCAST. Only the ballerest questions will be selected. NOW GO MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND RENT A LIMOUSINE. You’ve got some partyin’ to do.