We Live Among Pokémon Now

All the world is tall grass, thanks to the augmented reality of Pokemon Go, which saw its US release yesterday. A coworker snagged a Pidgey in our offices; I’m going fishing tonight for Magikarp. The creatures menace us everywhere.

If you’re unfamiliar with this game of childhood-wish-fulfillment, our friends at Kotaku explained it, but in sum: the app populates a map of the real world with with Pokémon, tracks your movements through that real world, and notifies you when you’re close to a monster. You can then view it through the in-game camera and see its cute or ugly mug superimposed on your environment, ready to be captured by a Pokéball you swipe in its direction. It is never too late to act on old fantasies, and plenty of grown-ass people are savoring their encounters with Pokémon in the wild.

Oddish is a babyfaced party freak:

Psyduck is a wide-eyed pervert:

Rattata is trespassing in a bad place:

At least Nidoran is content to just pose with you:

People will, inevitably, die playing Pokémon Go—tumbling over bridges and off cliffs with nose buried in phone—despite its constant in-game reminders to pay attention to your surroundings. (You sign away your right to sue as soon as you agree to the disclaimer: “You agree that your use of the App and play of the game is at your own risk, and it is your responsibility to maintain such health, liability, hazard, personal injury, medical, life, and other insurance policies as you deem reasonably necessary for any injuries that you may incur while using the services.”)

Without maiming yourself, enjoy hunting down the monsters specific to your region. Which lurk in your office cabinets? Why does the game have us flocking to churches? Which Pokémon live in ISIS-controlled territory? Update us on your findings.