Well, As Long As It's Done Tastefully

I have seen the future of reality TV, and it is Hurl! You may have already heard of this show, which debuts on G4 July 15: Contestants gorge themselves, competitive eating-style, and then are placed on devices such as a mechanical bull to see who will throw up last. (Christ shakes head sadly, officially postpones Second Coming.)

Representing an entirely new type of competition, Hurl! combines speed eating with intense physical challenges, all designed to shake up the competitors ... it's an eating competition with an extreme sports chaser! Sure, sure, sure ... publicly you'll criticize it; out loud you'll deny watching it ... but privately, you know you'll watch every minute. So, just relax, let go and hurl!

In other words: "Look, we know we're totally pulling this one out of our ass. But our research indicates that you'll watch anything, and since there's never anyone over the age of 24 at our staff meetings anyway, we decided to go with it. Now who's got the bong?"

Plus — and I'm sure this was a major selling point at the pitch meeting — at least some of it takes place on a barge. And you know the old TV industry adage: "Any show involving tugboats, add 10 ratings points."

Unfortunately, the green light for Hurl! pushes back other G4 reality show projects, including:

• Ow, My Spine!

• What Did You Just Call Me, Motherfucker?

• Those Aren't Raisins!

• Battlebots, Driven By Live Hamsters And Bunnies

• Eat Shit And Die!

• Improperly-Cooked Blowfish Challenge

• Reba

Hurl! [Official Site] Has Reality TV Hit Rock Bottom? [ABC News]