This Evening: Tupac Shakur, Dead 15 Years To The Day, Forever A DookieS

Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 13, the day we learned The Dark Knight's chase scene makes no sense. Photo via the SI Vault. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

What we're watching (all times EDT, unless noted): MLB Network has Indians-Rangers or Tigers White Sox at 8. And Fox Sports Net is showing a tape-delayed broadcast of that AC Milan-Barcelona Champions League match, also at 8.

Read Me

The 1981 Playboy excerpt of Cameron Crowe's Fast Times At Ridgemont High: Jeff Spicoli, a Ridgemont legend since third grade, lounged against the doorframe. His long dirty-blond hair was parted exactly in the middle. He spoke thickly, like molasses pouring from ajar. Most every school morning, Spicoli awoke before dawn, smoked three bowls of marijuana from a small steel bong, put on his wet suit and surfed before school. He was never at school on Fridays, and on Mondays only when he could handle it. He leaned a little into the room, red eyes glistening. His long hair was still wet, dampening the back of his white peasant shirt. ‘May I come in?' ‘Oh, please,' replied Mr. Hand. ‘I get so lonely when that third attendance bell rings and I don't see all my kids here.'" [Playboy/The Uncool]

This Date In Deadspin History

Sept. 13, 2005: Kordell Stewart Is Back, And So You Know, Not Gay

Things You Might Have Missed Today

Some quick links to a few items we posted earlier:
Cowboys Fan Didn't Just Taser A Jets Fan; He Tasered A Marine On 9/11
Maryland Athletics Requests That Students Refrain From Yelling "Fuck You" At 11-Year-Olds During Football Games
The 2011 MLB Rookie Hazing Costume Collection
What Are The Odds That You Know A Murderer?
TASER® Trademark Hounds Insist Man Using "Taser" At Stadium Fight Was Not Using TASER®
Jay Mariotti Pleads No Contest And Is Already Back On Twitter Promoting A Book

Elsewhere

Yeah, so, that NBA lockout isn't going anywhere for a while: "Not only does there appear to be little progress relative to the positions held at the end of the season, but Hunter is also unwilling to decertify the union and force movement from the owners on negotiations. So we can expect to remain in this state of limbo for quite a while. Oh, and the owners can't even agree on what they're willing to concede because they all have separate interests." [Ball Don't Lie]

In meting out punishment at Boise State, the NCAA really sticks it to that high school track coach with a ‘show cause' penalty: "The committee saved its stiffest penalties for former women's tennis head coach Mark Tichenor and former assistant track and field coach Tom Shanahan. Tichenor faces a four-year ‘show cause' penalty, which restricts recruiting activity at any NCAA member school and makes it extremely difficult for a university to hire him. Shanahan, currently the Bishop Kelly High track and field and cross country coach, faces a two-year show cause penalty. [Idaho Statesman]

Pacquaio, Mayweather, and aging: Time stops for no man, and the calendar's toll can be severe for a boxer. ‘My father - my greatest educator - told me since I was a little boy that at 28 you're still a young man, but you're an old fighter,' said Ray 'Boom Boom' Mancini, the former world lightweight champion. ‘Years later, I heard a quote by Napoleon: 'After 30 years, a man's spirit is not made for war.' Mancini, now 50, fought twice after turning 28 and lost both times. ‘Your body starts to shut down, you start settling down,' Mancini said. ‘We change mentally, emotionally, physically. The piss-and-vinegar attitude goes away. The reflexes aren't the same. In training camp, you do seven reps instead of 10, and think, 'Don't worry about it.' But you're not pushing yourself the same, and you pay for it.'" [Los Angeles Times]

What awaits an accused wife beater for just being an accused wife beater: "Ramirez, 39, could get up to a year in jail if convicted of misdemeanor domestic battery charges. He was released on $2,500 bail Tuesday after spending the night in the Broward County Jail, with little to say to a knot of waiting reporters." [ESPN]

Your Dutch Commercial Interlude:

Bowden had prostate cancer: "Former Florida State football coach Bobby Bowden revealed he was successfully treated for prostate cancer in 2007, making the rounds Tuesday in New York to tell his story. Although he had kept it secret for more than four years, Bowden said he believed it was now ‘my moral duty to bring it out in the open.'" [AP]

Yes, but what about Pujols?: "The St. Louis Cardinals and pitcher Chris Carpenter have agreed to a $21 million deal that will keep the former Cy Young Award winner with the club through the 2013 season. Carpenter says the two-year contract could be the final one of his career." [AP]

The story of a 15-year-old, one-armed, nearly blind golfer: "He's a left-handed golfer with no use of his left side. The traumatic brain injury he suffered on that September day three years ago, when the wind, a remnant of Hurricane Ike, kicked up inexplicably and terribly, left him with vision so limited, he sees only straight and to his right. ‘If he looks straight at your nose, he sees half of it,' explains his father, Don." [Cincinnati Enquirer]

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.

Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to tips@deadspin.com.