Somebody Stole Magic Johnson's Cue Cards

We already knew that Magic Johnson, a member of ESPN's NBA studio team, is terrible at delivering serious-faced post-game monologues straight from the cue cards. Here is further evidence that this man should not be on the mic, ever—and especially not without those cue cards. He sounds like a baritone "boom goes the dynamite" impersonator. Aside from the general stutters and restarts here, the best part comes at the :35 mark, when he actually manages to sound as if he's interrupting himself: "He kicks to Al Jefferso—BUT IT'S BLOCKED! BY BYNUM!" This is not live, Magic. You knew that was going to happen, Magic. Please stop calling highlights, Magic.

H/T Awful Announcing, video via.