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New York, 1:58 AM
Mon Dec 7
15 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Image of Chamomiles Davis Chamomiles Davis
    11/30/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
    I don't know... Tera Patrick makes a nice living on her knees.
     Reply
    Chamomiles Davis was starred Chamomiles Davis was unstarred
    Image of norbizness norbizness
    11/30/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
    "I'd rather die riding around on my Lark scooter because congealed bacon fat had obstructed circulation to my legs than die on my... mmmm.... bacon."
     Reply
    norbizness was starred norbizness was unstarred
    Image of Chris Hanson's Axe Chris Hanson's Axe
    11/30/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
    Our coach was pretty cool.

    I'd say your coach is fucking awesome, and deserves a medal. I wish we had some "good coach" story collections like that, but I'm sure it would devolve into schmaltzy Reilly-isms by the second week.
     Reply
    Chris Hanson's Axe was starred Chris Hanson's Axe was unstarred
    Image of DirkToberFest DirkToberFest
    11/30/09

    @Chris Hanson's Axe: That would be nice, but I'm sure I'd be sick of it by the time I read the fourth John Chaney story.
     Reply
    DirkToberFest was starred DirkToberFest was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    11/30/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
    One time in gym class, one of our gym teachers came over and talked to us as we were changing. He was buck naked except for his flip-flips (which we actually called 'thongs' back then) and stood there with one leg up on the bench , casually discussing the recent time change of 2nd lunch from 10:45 to 11:15 . It was pretty awkward. Later, we smoked a bowl.
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of Clarence Rosario Clarence Rosario
    11/30/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
    That's a total asshole quote.

    Peter Garrett disagrees.
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario was starred Clarence Rosario was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/30/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
    Story one is the basis for The Blind Side II when we learn the gawky tall kid is homeless, is adopted by the nice coach and he grows up to be Roy Hibbert.
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    11/30/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
    Pete Carroll entered the A-hole coach hall of fame this weekend.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of DirkToberFest DirkToberFest
    11/30/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
    I'd rather die on the shitter than listen to Wayne Newton.

    -Elvis
     Reply
    DirkToberFest was starred DirkToberFest was unstarred
    Image of Warm Butt Mudd Warm Butt Mudd
    11/23/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
    My freshman year of high school, I played basketball. We had a very good team (Everyone was black), and I was the only white kid. This was the high school that Rajon Rondo attended, and we were regularly ranked in the top 100 nationally. My coach was a monster. He was about 6'9'', and had played ball at Butler and for the Pistons. The guy was nuts, had an anger problem, and acted like the Undertaker when he got mad. I was 6'7'' as a freshman, so I was for some reason treated like a god-send for the team...even though I just played because dad wanted me to. So when I failed, coach loved nothing more than to take it out on me. The white guy...

    Our freshman team was undefeated and we were going into a game against a private school of all white kids. At half time my team was winning by about 25, and the gym was in shock because there was more black on the court than they had ever seen before.

    During the second half the white kids on the other team did what white people do, and made about 5 three-pointers in a row. Coach called a time out and went off. The gym at this Christian private school was being filled with obscenities and statements like "HOW ARE THESE WHITES KEEPING IN THE GAME. THEYRE FUCKING WHITE AND CANT DO ANYTHING BUT SHOOT." He then stared at me and started yelling at me. Keep in mind I already had about 30 points and 10000 rebounds, and I was a center, who in no way should be responsible for three-point shots. He took his clip board, placed in on my stomach, and proceeded to punch a hole in it. His hand went straight though it, and into my gut. I immediately puked onto the floor. Of course everyone was staring at him, and saw the whole thing unfold. I threw him on the ground, and walked home. Fuck that guy. But he got fired, and I excelled in my basketball career- quitting by my junior season because cigarettes and whisky are a lot more fun than basketball.
     Reply
    BruschisBrewsky approved this comment Warm Butt Mudd was starred Warm Butt Mudd was unstarred
    Image of BruschisBrewsky BruschisBrewsky
    11/23/09

    @Warm Butt Mudd: Pictures or it didn't happen.
     Reply
    BruschisBrewsky was starred BruschisBrewsky was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/23/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
    Boy these stories really make me look forward to letting some random idiot coach my kids.
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of BruschisBrewsky BruschisBrewsky
    11/23/09

    @Phintastic: Simple, always remember to pack your kid's shower shorts.
     Reply
    Edited by BruschisBrewsky at 11/23/09 6:22 PM BruschisBrewsky was starred BruschisBrewsky was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/23/09

    @BruschisBrewsky:

    The yelling maniacs are almost just as troubling as the pervs.
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of chuckv chuckv
    11/23/09

    @Phintastic: Boy these stories really make me look forward to coaching my kids.

    Fixed
     Reply
    Phintastic promoted this comment chuckv was starred chuckv was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/24/09

    @chuckv:

    True dat
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of formerly Chief Wahoo formerly Chief Wahoo
    11/23/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
    Where were you guys when I needed corroboration for my "Coaches shower with the athletes" rule? I haven't coached field hockey since.
     Reply
    formerly Chief Wahoo was starred formerly Chief Wahoo was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    11/23/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
    I can't wait for Brendon Small's "A-Hole Coach Digest" submission.
     Reply
    Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of BruschisBrewsky BruschisBrewsky
    11/23/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
    Robert Downey Jr. has already signed up to play the douchebag lacrosse coach in the Lifetime Network movie.
     Reply
    Edited by BruschisBrewsky at 11/23/09 5:59 PM BruschisBrewsky was starred BruschisBrewsky was unstarred
    Image of Karlifornia Karlifornia
    11/23/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
    I don't know if this story has the same humor as the other ones you guys have published

    Coach C just pinched the tips of his thumb and index fingers really close together and said "Don't worry, Zach, you provided me with many laughs"
     Reply
    Edited by Karlifornia at 11/23/09 5:46 PM Karlifornia was starred Karlifornia was unstarred
    Image of Kid Canada Kid Canada
    11/23/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
    The team was composed of 9 13-year-olds, a couple 1-year-olds, and 2 15-year-olds

    To be fair, I was a pretty shitty baseball player at age 1 as well.
     Reply
    Kid Canada was starred Kid Canada was unstarred
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