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New York, 3:27 AM
Thu Dec 17
18 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of BuddyGuyMontag BuddyGuyMontag
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    Hate to kill the funny, but the N-shoes thing didn't happen in Jersey because Walmarts weren't in Jersey during the time frame, plus, with the proliferation of school districts in Jersey, there's almost no shot the kid would be in a different district between middle and high school.

    /the more you know
    //jersey bred
     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC promoted this comment BuddyGuyMontag was starred BuddyGuyMontag was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    12/15/09

    @BuddyGuyMontag: N$#%$%% shoes sounded bullshitty. It just doesn't sound like something a grizzled old gym teacher would say.
     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of William Sapphire and Tonic William Sapphire and Tonic
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    My coach told me to mind my own business and then yelled to him, "YOU'RE GOING TO BURN. DO YOU HEAR ME? BUUUUURNNNN."

    Reminds me of the time I was saving those orphans from that burning autism center and yelled down to the firemen holding the net, "FIFTY HOT ONES, COMIN' AT YA!"
     Reply
    David Hume promoted this comment William Sapphire and Tonic was starred William Sapphire and Tonic was unstarred
    Image of StuScott Booyahs StuScott Booyahs
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    It appears from my extensive five-minute Google research that the seagulls/alka-seltzer thing is a myth. So I feel obligated to call B.S. on that story.
     Reply
    Edited by StuScott Booyahs at 12/14/09 4:52 PM StuScott Booyahs was starred StuScott Booyahs was unstarred
    Image of Jefferson Tardship Jefferson Tardship
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    His favorite saying was to call us "FUCKING ABORTIONS."

    To be fair, at the time he was reading The Cider House Rules for a book club.
     Reply
    Jefferson Tardship was starred Jefferson Tardship was unstarred
    Image of Slothrop Slothrop
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    Tony's coach was either Satan or Trashcanman, but damn if I can tell which one.
     Reply
    Slothrop was starred Slothrop was unstarred
    Image of Hatey McLife Hatey McLife
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    I remember seeing a pair of those shoes at the the FBI's exhibit on Ed Gein.
     Reply
    Hatey McLife was starred Hatey McLife was unstarred
    Image of Hatey McLife Hatey McLife
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    I was playing freshman football for my Catholic high school in Dallas.
    ...Our coach was essentially a shepherd for the cannon fodder that we provided the JV squad.

    It's better than being Mannlicher-Carcano fodder in Dallas.
     Reply
    Hatey McLife was starred Hatey McLife was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    He opens the box and takes out a tiny foil packet.

    There must be something wrong with me. I was sure the next line was going to be about heroin.
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of Mr. Praline Mr. Praline
    12/14/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
    so there were always hordes of seagulls flocking around to feast on the refuse.

    And that's why I ran, I ran so far away. Got to get away.
     Reply
    Mr. Praline was starred Mr. Praline was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    12/14/09

    @Mr. Praline: +1 synthesizer
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/14/09

    @Mr. Praline: Yes, but the real question is, could you get away?
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of norbizness norbizness
    12/08/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The Story Of “The Grip”
    Tenured? A middle-school coach? I call bullshit on this story, all stories in this series, and all future installments of this interminably depressing series, which cannot be redeemed even by reading it in that voice from that Christmas Story weirdo.
     Reply
    norbizness was starred norbizness was unstarred
    Image of William Sapphire and Tonic William Sapphire and Tonic
    12/07/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The Story Of “The Grip”
    His "practices" usually consisted of two parts: layup drills and scrimmages.

    Funny part was, he was the coach of the men's gymnastics team.
     Reply
    AzureTexan promoted this comment William Sapphire and Tonic was starred William Sapphire and Tonic was unstarred
    Image of Kid Canada Kid Canada
    12/07/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The Story Of “The Grip”
    (I once had to sit in the car for an hour in front of a weird house in the middle of nowhere while he practiced bow and arrow with some other hillbilly out back.)

    What you call "practicing bow and arrow" I call "doin' the hibbidy dibbidy."
     Reply
    Kid Canada was starred Kid Canada was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/07/09

    @Kid Canada: What you call "doin' the hibbidy dibbidy" I call "gettin' lunch."
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Cognitive Friction Cognitive Friction
    12/07/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The Story Of “The Grip”
    my grandfather (who I'm pretty sure didn't care for me at all)

    Did anyone else have to read that sentence fragment 2-3 times just to make sure they read it right?

    Coming soon: Deadspin Family Therapy Digest!
     Reply
    Cognitive Friction was starred Cognitive Friction was unstarred
    Image of Silent Q Silent Q
    12/07/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The Story Of “The Grip”
    my balls were a flaming ruins for a week after that. Thanks coach.

    I was unaware that Graham James also coached high school basketball. I guess you really do learn something new every day...
     Reply
    Silent Q was starred Silent Q was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/07/09

    In reply to A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The Story Of “The Grip”
    As this was a Catholic-run league, the ref didn't hesitate to eject him from the game, as well as the gymnasium, as well as the sweet promise of eternal salvation and into the bounds of Purgatory, where, until the end of time, he was forced to do lay-up drills with Joel Pryzbilla and Chuck Nevitt.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
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