<![CDATA[Deadspin: detroit news]]> http://tags.deadspin.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/deadspin.com.png <![CDATA[Deadspin: detroit news]]> http://deadspin.com/tag/detroitnews http://deadspin.com/tag/detroitnews <![CDATA[Rob Parker Is Detroit's Newest Unemployed Worker]]> I wonder if Rob Parker now wishes Rod Marinelli's daughter had married a career counselor, because she probably could have helped him find a new line of work.

Parker resigned from the Detroit News on Friday, after losing his column and being demoted to "general assignment sports reporter." All this came after he asked a rather unfortunate question about the former Detroit Lions head coach's familial situation. Oh, and maybe making up some stuff earlier in the year.

He worked at the News for eight years, but given the state of Michigan's economy and the newspaper business, he was bound to be out of a job sooner or later. So think of it as a pre-emptive strike. Maybe now he can find a nice coordinator's daughter out there to be his sugar mama.

Columnist Rob Parker Out at Detroit News [Journal-isms]
ROB PARKER OUT AT DETROIT NEWS [World of Isaac]

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<![CDATA[How To Make An 0-15 Season Suddenly More Meaningful]]> This whole Robert Parker/Rod Marinelli press conference situation has suddenly turned a beleaguered, not-so-good coach into a sympathetic character for the last game of a uniquely pathetic Lions season. It's kind of awesome isn't it?

Parker's awful attempt at humor (and lame, self-serving apology) will hopefully rile up some intensity in the dreadful Lions for the sake of their cuddly coach. It's probably too late to save Marinelli's job, but now that's he's basically gone all angry dad and refused to accept Parker's excuse, it's just made the Packers/Lions game extremely compelling:

"Anytime you attack my daughter, I've got a problem with that ..." Marinelli said. "It was premeditated. I think there's something wrong with that."

Did it cross the line?

"Big time," Marinelli said.

Boom, bitch.

All last minute bluster aside, 1-15 would be a remarkable achievement, given this man's circumstances. He's had four months of opportunities to explode at the dais during his depressing press conferences, but always chose to fire-off a self-help book quote about positivity he probably read on the toilet the night before. His responses were goofy and hokey, and , honestly, something he probably had trouble believing himself 90% of the time, but what were the alternatives? Smashing a microphone, picking fights with reporters, an animated freak-out or passing off blame to the Ford family or Matt Millen would have probably made him more popular and been justified. But, until yesterday, he went the other direction.

The Detroit News has also taken issue with Parker's line of questioning and managing editor Don Nauss suggested that the columnist's job might be in jeopardy. How come? Because Rod Marinelli, for all of his hopelessness as a coach, proved himself to be a good guy, who still cared about his team and his own self-respect throughout this horrendous season. Rob Parker, a sniveling cock of epic proportions, did not. It's karmic justice.

This Sunday's game with the Packers will be a wretched, freezing day in Green Bay pitting two lifeless teams against one another, but it's suddenly been given an infusion of pathos thanks to this whole Parker situation. Wouldn't it be great if the NFL actually went out of its way to flex schedule this game? Let the playoff scenarios settle in the afternoon and let the Lions defend Rod Marinelli's honor in prime time. It won't happen, of course, but it would suddenly give an incredibly bland NFL regular season some melodrama. And remember that Lions team that went 0-12 back in 2001? Well, that was the story line three weeks ago when the Lions were 0-12. Aveion Cason, a member of that Lions team, told the Freep reporter that finally snagging a victory during that pathetic stretch was like "winning the Super Bowl."

Imagine what they'll feel like if they win on Sunday.

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<![CDATA[Detroit Columnist Manages To Piss Off Just About Everyone]]> Detroit News columnist Rob Parker says he was just joking when he asked Lions head coach Rod Marinelli if he "wishes his daughter had married a better defensive coordinator?" Wow. Some joke.

And that, folks, may be the biggest prick move of the season ... or was it the savviest?

Parker's unfortunate question at the Lions post-game press conference on Sunday was handled with class by Marinelli; Detroit's head coach just grunted and moved on (I suspect that Jim Mora or Mike Ditka may have reacted differently). But it didn't take long for others to pounce on Parker, as we see in the video when Terry Bradshaw and the other the Fox desk jockeys begin gnawing on him. Less than 24 hours later, Parker is a virtual outcast. Take a look at his Wikipedia page, for instance, where I found this little embellishment:

Ha. Sunday's question of course was in reference to Lions defensive coordinator Joe Barry, who is married to Marinelli's daughter. Parker says it was all in fun, and apologized in a column that was hastily put up on the News' web site this morning. But more likely, it may have been just another attempt by Parker to draw attention to himself. At the beginning of the season, no one knew who Rob Parker was; he is by all accounts a pretty average journalist with poor writing skills. But after a little run-in with the Michigan State football folks earlier this year — for which he also has apologized — and now this, he's really getting his name out there, no?

Granted, it's getting out there in the same way that Jay Mariotti and Gregg Doyel do (although both are better writers), with various epithets attached. But it is getting out there. And that could be important, considering the shape that the Daily News is in. If Parker isn't fired over this latest controversy, he may soon be out of a job anyway. Name recognition isn't such a bad thing when you're looking for a job, and if you're seen as an antagonist, all the better.

Parker has been working on this act for longer than people suspect: Remember when he called Hank Aaron a coward? Parker may just be trying to survive the only way he knows how, by marching through the Internets banging a large pot with a metal spoon. Chances are he's on the radio somewhere right now explaining himself, and if so, chances are excellent that it's an ESPN station. Anyway, when you see him next month trading bon mots with Woody Paige on Around the Horn, you'll know why.

Post-game Ugliness In Motown [Pro Football Talk]
There's More To Marinelli [The Detroit News]
Parker Is Either A Liar Or Has An Awful Sense Of Humor [Real Clear Sports]

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