soccer

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  • espn

    ESPN: The British Invasion

    ESPN is creating a new UK-based channel in order to broadcast the live Premier League matches they now own the rights to. If "First Take" ends up on the schedule, this could destroy the NATO alliance. [Guardian, via Sports Hernia]
    07/08/09
    3,779
    31

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Weed Against Speed: "That chap must be marmite because he's on a crumpet!" -Stuart Scott 2 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Cristiano Ronaldo Stars In World's Largest Press Conference

    Almost 80,000 people showed up at Real Madrid's stadium last night just to watch Cristiano Ronaldo try on a shirt. I'm starting to suspect that you don't love your favorite team enough. More »
    07/07/09
    8,875
    29

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Mr. Praline: I hope he likes playing with the dynamic midfield duo of Arriaga and Arriaga II. 2 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Racist European Soccer Fans, Go Sit In A Corner

    "A referee should first demand over the public address system that fans stop their racist behavior. If they fail to do so, the game should be suspended for five to 10 minutes, with teams sent to the locker rooms." [AP]
    07/02/09
    6,562
    47

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by Chris Hanson's Axe: How can dago and just do that? 9 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Mobster Doesn't Take Kindly To Soccer Players Who Insult His Girlfriend

    It must have stung Bulgarian goaltender Nikolay Mihailov when his Playmate model girlfriend dumped him for a notorious mob boss—but it probably stings even more when the mob boss decides to attack you with acid. More »
    06/29/09
    21,106
    27

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Bob Loblaw: Nikoleta must be a broken down Trabant from the old East Germany Wow, that is some caustic wit. 5 Responses | Other threads

  • confederations cup

    So We All Still Love Soccer Now, Right?

    Does anyone know when the next USA soccer game is? Because unless it's this Wednesday*, I'm guessing our nation may have trouble parlaying the magical Confederations Cup showing into a nationwide love affair with the sport. More »
    06/29/09
    7,771
    46

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by BigTenObsession: The real truth is that those of us who love soccer don't really give a shit if the rest of... 7 Responses | Other threads

  • confederations cup

    Brazilians. Yankees. Open Thread (Holy Crap, We're Winning Tied Losing We Lost)

    It's the first annual Thrillerbowl, as the U.S. goes for their biggest soccer win ever. (Were you born in 1950? I didn't think so.) Follow in the comments, check the liveblogs, and watch out for the bees. [ESPN/Unprofessional Foul/Sporting News]
    06/28/09
    6,214
    127

    By Barry Petchesky

    Comment by bonerland: America will never be a soccer power until we learn to celebrate goals better. Where's the choreographed dancing? ... 7 Responses | Other threads

  • DUAN!

    How The U.S. Can Wipe The Floor With Brazil

    Bob Bradley must be slightly busy right now trying to prepare his team to pull off another upset of a superior squad. Toilet-papering one of Brazil's finest is probably a strategy he hasn't considered. More »
    06/27/09
    6,544
    13

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by kbjone: "How The U.S. Can Wipe The Floor With Brazil" Brazil's starting 11 is diagnosed with swine flu and quarantined to the... 1 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    The Other Wins That Were Supposed To Change U.S. Soccer

    United States 2, Spain 0. "Probably the greatest victory" in U.S. Soccer history. History-making. The one that will change the future of soccer in the country, right? It can join the club. More »
    06/27/09
    8,537
    31

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by Tully Blanchard Enterprises: 1994 World Cup: U.S. 2, Colombia 1 Only thing that helped change was the roster spot of goalie for Columbia, and... 6 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Egyptian Press Reports What Really Happened In That South Africa Hotel Room

    In Egypt, which lacks a free press, the government can try to make a scandal dissipate just by using politically correct language. Case in point: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wrecking prostitutes" is "girls." More »
    06/26/09
    6,332
    28

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by David Hume: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wreckin... prostitutes" is "girls." I want to know what the translation for "get down on this hog... 4 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    The United States-Spain Aftermath: Fun With Google Translations

    "Suddenly, the fluid Xavi football, friendships imaginative patent associations disappeared. United States, with its two lines that tightened the nuts of a submarine, had sprayed the tiqui-taca." More »
    06/25/09
    9,759
    38

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by StuScott Booyahs: The Yankees we descend from the cloud But fear not, Spaniards, if thou believeth on us, thou shalt receive peace. 2 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    The Greatest Upset In The History Of Sports (This Week)

    The United States has just flabbergasted the world, ending Spain's 35-match unbeaten streak with a 2-nil shutout of the planet's No. 1 team. Put that in your vuvuzela and blow on it. More »
    06/24/09
    17,767
    105

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Quake 'n' Shake: Dear Spain, You should not have pulled out of Iraq. Sincerely,Team America 13 Responses | Other threads

  • confederations cup

    The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup

    If you've watched the Confederations Cup, you have no doubt been annoyed by the mysterious buzzing sound that drowns out even the TV announcers. Well, get used to it, because that sound will haunt you throughout next year's World Cup. More »
    06/24/09
    11,570
    59

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by ClueHeywood: If only South Africa could devise a system to keep these fans apart from the European fans. 3 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Iran "Retires" Soccer Players Who Went Green

    Four players on the Iranian national team have been banned — err, retired — from competition for wearing green wristbands in their Wednesday match. Two others also defied orders to remove the green gear, and their fate is "unknown." [Guardian]
    06/23/09
    6,246
    59

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by Karlifornia: These guys are really gonna neda bulletproof vest. 10 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    One Sporting Event That's Too Dangerous For Bylines

    Chances are, you've never been to Myanmar. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you've also never been to a soccer game in Myanmar, because it's Myanmar, and because it's illegal for five people to gather in the same place. More »
    06/23/09
    8,295
    39

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by decoitous: ESPN reports that the champion of the Myanmar National League will play the North Korean national team for the coveted... 4 Responses | Other threads

  • whimsy

    Ice Cream Does Not Belong On Your Face, Kid

    Seriously, why is this kid at the Italy-Brazil game rubbing his ice cream bar on his face? Not to sound like a busybody, but where are his parents? I think the state may need to get involved here. [YouTube]
    06/23/09
    9,510
    23

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Youkilis on First: No fair, Deadspin!!! Erin Andrews was at the College World Series last night holding the broken belt of Texas'... 1 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    The Real Reason For Egypt's Soccer Loss?: Thieving Gangs Of Hookers

    A 3-0 loss to the hapless United States was embarrassing enough, but Egyptian soccer may be more embarrassed by reports that the team was robbed by prostitutes they brought back to their hotel. At least one explains the other. More »
    06/22/09
    14,509
    31

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Laser Guided: One would assume the comedy pyramids in this thread will be top-notch. 3 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Egypt De-Pantses Italians Soccer Team

    And now for something on the lighter side ... guy falls down, loses shorts. Ha ha. I would not have expected tighty whiteys from the Italian team, though. [TotalProSports]
    06/19/09
    4,777
    17

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by You Said It, Man: I do believe "pantless Italians" is just redundant. /speculating 4 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    How Do Iranian Soccer Players Protest? Very Carefully

    Iran's soccer team may have found it difficult to concentrate on their World Cup qualifying match in South Korea today, since their country is, you know, engulfed in the cleansing flames of democratic awakening. More »
    06/17/09
    9,290
    34

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by The Governor: This incredibly subtle form of protest works because green is pretty much the only color allowed in their country No wonder... 2 Responses | Other threads

  • DUAN!

    Team Iraq Will Be Your Soccer Darling Tomorrow

    There's some type of non-American football tournament commencing in South Africa tomorrow as an appetizer to the World Cup. And, look, there's Iraq. Wave to them! More »
    06/13/09
    5,916
    32

    By Matt Sussman

    Comment by Proverbial: I think I speak for everyone in Canada when I say thanks for posting a Hulu video. 6 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Even Their Coaches Know How To Flop

    In this undated video, we have an exciting footysoccer game with brilliant ball control, superb balance, and absolutely no match fixing whatsoever. What else do you need? More »
    06/13/09
    9,701
    18

    By Matt Sussman

    Comment by Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: This is definitely one of my favorite videos on the internets. _from=PL&index=36 2 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Cristiano Ronaldo Will Also Accept Large Piles Of Real Madrid's Cash

    Just days after Kaka broke the world transfer record by going from AC Milan to Real Madrid, his new squad plunked down another $131 million to take Cristiano Ronaldo away from Manchester United. They are—how you say?—living large. More »
    06/11/09
    7,402
    48

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by HirsheysKissMyArse: As Mr. Red Devil and I are the only two Man Utd. fans around this joint (and I think he's... 6 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Soccer Player Survives On-Field Heart Attack

    Today's most popular viral video? Belgian footballer Anthony Van Loo (funny) suffers a heart attack mid-game (not funny), but survives thanks to his implanted defibrillator (applause!). More »
    06/09/09
    9,422
    27

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by MeAndChipperJones: Hush my thundering pulses! Two soccer post in under an hour. Not sure the Canadians are going to like this... 2 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    $94 Million Just Ain't What It Used To Be

    The world's financial oblivion has affected some sports clubs worse than others. Perhaps Real Madrid giving AC Milan $94 million to take their best player will clue you in on who the haves and have nots are. More »
    06/09/09
    6,931
    49

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by MeAndChipperJones: If Real have Kaka, Robben, AND Ronaldo, they will become the epi-center of dush-ness for the entire planet. A swirling... 9 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Seeking Soccer Aficionados With $140 Million To Spare

    "The Board of Newcastle United can today confirm that the Club is for sale at the price of £100m. Interested parties should contact Newcastle United at admin@nufc.co.uk (or Keith Harris at Seymour Pierce) for further details." [The Sun]
    06/08/09
    2,938
    21

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by StuScott Booyahs: Do I get a relegation discount? 5 Responses | Other threads

  • DUAN!

    Chicago Fire Fans Take Their Name Quite Literally

    Houston Dynamo announcer on the Chicago Fire's Section 8 celebrating its Friday night with flares: "That is a thing of beauty. You're not going to see that at an NBA game." More »
    06/06/09
    9,966
    55

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by MattinglysSideburns: Evening DUAN. How's this for Saturday night plans? I'm attending a birthday party this evening with an open bar. There,... 9 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Congratulations, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Nailing Your Sister

    Chelsea had a bit of a rough go of it this year, especially after losing a heartbreaker to Barcelona in the Champions League, but their Italian-Brazilian midfielder Juliano Belletti can take solace in the fact that his sister has found comfort in the arms of Man U coxswain Cristiano Ronaldo. More »
    06/02/09
    21,661
    59

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Jack Carpenter: I'd like to rub some barbeque sauce on that behind and brrrrrr /Anchorman'd But really, I'd stick inanimate objects in places that... 7 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Lionel Messi Enjoyed The Parade

    Hey, when you score a goal to seal the Champions League final then you can get hammered and try to steal someone's giant inflatable lollipop. Until then you'll just have to be jealous of Lionel Messi, the soberest man in all of Barcelona. [Docksquad Sports]
    06/02/09
    8,174
    43

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Gourmet Spud: He's not doing anything to help the Spanish's reputation for racism with that insulting caricature of an Irishman. 4 Responses | Other threads

  • crazy fans

    Manchester United Fan Doesn't Take Well To Losing

    Upset with Manchester United's loss to Barcelona in The Biggest Game Ever, a fan steered a minibus into a group of Barcelona fans and killed four people. "The man confessed to doing it on purpose," a police spokeswoman said. "He now says he doesn't know why he did it." [BBC]
    05/28/09
    6,696
    47

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by ClintonPortishead: The irony here is that those killed were all making the slant-eyed gesture right before being hit by a careening,... 5 Responses | Other threads

  • DUAN!

    And Now A Nice Photo Of A Man Getting Kicked In The Face

    No, it's not Champions League, but it is a good way to show off the WSJ's outstanding "Sports Snapshot" photo blog-a-majig. Amazingly, the man getting kicked in the head is Houston Dynamo forward Brian Ching who used that very same dented dome to score a goal later in the game. More »
    05/27/09
    9,655
    605

    By DAULERIO

    Comment by ClintonPortishead: DUAN Jeopardy! Answer: three items found in John Daly's golf bag. 76 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Only The British Can Make Soccer Sound Like Fellatio

    The Guardian, liveblogging Barca-Man U: "Stroke … pass … triangle … slide-rule pass … back-heel … tip … tap … slide-rule pass … neat triangle … neat triangle … neat triangle … through-ball … languid stroke … flick … trap … deft touch … chest … clatter … hoof." [Guardian]
    05/27/09
    3,535
    28

    By Tommy Craggs

    Comment by CCSABBATICAL: Chest...bra...clasps...undone......wo..WOAH!!! My bad, I got a little lost there.. 3 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Barcelona and Manchester United Fight Over World's Remaining Marbles

    I think I can say without hyperbole that for soccer nuts, today is like Christmas, Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all rolled into one—only 100 million times bigger. It's the UEFA Champions League Final Day ... and you stupid Yanks are stuck at work! More »
    05/27/09
    9,113
    116

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Mr. Poon: can't wait. i guess this means that my football boycott (on the basis of newcastle's relegation) didn't last very long. 6 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Blowing The Whistle: Turkish Soccer Ref Forced Out Because He's Gay

    A Turkish soccer referee has lost his job on account of his liking dudes. Horrors! More »
    05/19/09
    3,623
    26

    By Tommy Craggs

    Comment by UkraineNotWeak: I'm sure he also enjoys gladiators movies. 3 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Manchester United Secures Third Straight Premier League Title

    A 0-0 draw with Arsenal did the trick. Man U is now tied with Liverpool with 18 titles all-time. And now I'm going to stop talking about soccer before I get something wrong. More »
    05/16/09
    3,270
    37

    By Gourmet Spud

    Comment by Father of 2 Future First Rounders: You can win a title with a 0-0 tie? I can't believe this hasn't caught on here yet. 7 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Kill The Referee! (Starting With These Guys)

    Here's a list you don't want to be on: The most notable referees who have been threatened with death for being bad at their jobs. It's not a very select group, either. [Off The Post]
    05/11/09
    8,529
    37

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by X-tacle: Not one American soccer referee among them? What about that one with the dark hair, average height and weight, with... 4 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Chelsea Is Not Taking Their Champions League Defeat Well

    Barcelona pulled off a miraculously late rally to win their Champions League semi-final slugfest over Chelsea yesterday, but the defeated English are having some trouble coping. At least no one has hung themselves! Yet. More »
    05/07/09
    11,954
    74

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by lastingsmilledge: tj: manny suspended 50 games for roids/PEDs/tj figures this happens the moment we get a soccer thread 5 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Soccer Player Killed By Lightning, Then Goes On With His Life

    Here's another story of deceased soccer fans, only this one has a happy ending, because the kid in question was lucky enough to be raised from the dead. More »
    05/06/09
    12,708
    43

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by ArkansasFred: Is there anything Germans can't do besides, you know, have personalities? 7 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Arsenal Fan Commits Suicide After Champions League Wipeout

    A Kenyan soccer fan hung himself—in his Arsenal jersey—after his favorite team got thumped by Manchester United in the Champions League yesterday. That is not dealing well with defeat. More »
    05/06/09
    25,798
    52

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by BruschisBrewsky: Is it a good idea to have the guy from Queer Eye as your goalie? 3 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Mexican Soccer Player Red Carded For Swine Flu

    Speaking of bold, unexpected strategies—Guadalajara defender Hector Reynoso has been banned from international competition because he spit and sneezed on opposing players and then told them he had swine flu. More »
    05/04/09
    4,379
    17

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by K-Gun: players were taunting them for their pork diseases Pork diseases include, but not limited to: Sausagonahrrea Pig Herpes Hamthrax The Itis Mud Butt 1 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    The Deadspin Pub Celebrates El Clasico

    Barcelona is on the road to face Real Madrid in El Clasico, the marquee match on this weekend's schedule. Plus a full slate of action in the English Premier League. More »
    05/02/09
    2,976
    23

    By KOGOD

    Comment by lastingsmilledge: fyi, if any of you didn't know, FSC won the US rights to the champions league for the next 3... 7 Responses | Other threads

  • soccer

    Welcome To Chandler Stadium (Please Wipe Feet Before Entering)

    The Rochester Rhinos of the United Soccer League will name their stadium after you or your organization for a thousand bucks. Although like with CitiField, you may be bankrupt within the year. [Democrat And Chronicle]
    04/16/09
    3,480
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    By Rick Chandler

    Comment by ScientificMapp: Please, dear God, let a couple of potheads scrape together $1000 so we can go watch a game at Hugh... 3 Responses | Other threads

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