To Watch Tonight

What to watch while wondering why Bec Hewitt is getting less face time than her sister-in-law...

• Boxing: Roy Jones Jr. vs. Felix "Tito" Trinidad for none of the marbels. Who wouldn't pay to watch two guys who haven't been worth watching for the better part of a decade? This guy (/gestures towards self with thumbs)! [PPV]

• Soccer: US Men's National Team vs. Sweden in an international friendly. Will we conquer the Swedes and mate with their giant women? Some might say no Deuce, no dice, but I see another win for Jesus's preferred nation and a goal for Jozy. [FSC]

• College Basketball: Kentucky at Florida. If Billy Gilispie doesn't pick up some more signature quality wins the torch bearing mobs will be out in full force. I always new that introducing Kentuckians to fire was a bad idea, but nobody listened. [ESPN]

• College Football: East/West Shrine Game. Rivalries run deep in this age old battle. It's just like the Civil War, only vertical. I'm just glad it's not another fucking bowl game. [ESPN2]