A Year From Now, Art Shell Will Be Wearing A Santa Suit In A Mall

I know that the appropriate thing to do here is to make a hateful comment towards the NFL Network, but you know what? I get the NFL Network. The NFL Network and me are on pretty good terms.

What I'm not comfortable with however, is their choice of games for this evening. Who the hell said it was a good idea to put the Raiders on television, on the eve of Christmas eve? "Let's celebrate the birth of Christ by watching the performance of the worst quarterback his father ever saw fit to let walk the planet."

And do you know how many grown men in the bay area tonight will have Santa hats on along with their spiked shoulder pads and the rest of their mean looking plastic toys? Do you know how much damage that vision could do to the psyche of a child? It's just irresponsible programming. That's all I'm saying.

But the game's on, and I know damn well that you're getting tired of your family. Get yourself about a half gallon of egg nog, splash in an extra pint of rum, and enjoy this beauty here with your fellow Deadspin commenters. I know you feel more of a connection with them than you do with Aunt Marge who thinks Trent Green is a "real looker."