Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

About Last Night

What you missed while you were setting the cat on fire and scraping your feet...

• MLB: Brandon Webb and Jason Jennings pitch masterfully. However, it appears their respective bullpens were doing nitrous hits througout the game, as 13 runs were scored between the two teams in the 9th inning. D-backs won 8-7.
• UFC: Blood, glory, and mullets. After close to three years of build up, Tito Ortiz knocked out Ken Shamrock in the first round with a barrage of elbows. Tim "The Maniac" Sylvia retains his heavyweight title against Andrei "Pit Bull" Arlovski.
• MLB: Albert Pujols vs. Roy Oswalt. Who wins? Not the guy named Roy. Cardinals win 7-6 in 10 innings after Pujols bomb. Yes, that yelping you heard around 11 p.m. last night came from a former Midwesterner named "We".


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