Adam Morrison Is Prepared For The Apocalypse. Are You?

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice, but when it does end it’ll be survived by an unathletic shooter with a single ACL and an underground cache of insulin.

Gonzaga big man Kyle Wiltje went on the Pardon My Take podcast today, and a simple question about which white basketball player he’d compare himself to turned into storytime about Adam Morrison, who was an assistant for the Zags for a couple of years. As transcribed by the Sporting News:

“The guy is fully equipped if there was an apocalypse. He’s got food stashed away, everything. So he could survive everything.

“Guns, everything. He’s got a bunker. Everything...I haven’t fully seen it. I’ve just heard the myth, and I’ve talked to him about it. But he’s definitely fully-equipped. He’s got food, everything, if anything went down.

“He thinks something’s going down with politics or something, because if you ever ask him a political question, you will get a great answer … He thinks everyone is corrupt, basically.”

“He thinks something’s going down with politics” is probably the justification for the majority of fallout shelters in the Pacific Northwest.

If you can ingratiate yourself, Morrison’s bunker is probably as good as anyone’s, what with the high ceilings, and the two championship rings that could be traded for flint and bowstrings once we’re reduced to a barter economy, and Morrison’s near-fanatical devotion to memorizing the Eusa Story.