Arrested Ex-FIFA VP Cites The Onion In Strange Self-Defense Video

Today in Dumb FIFA Man, arrested ex-VP Jack Warner tried to thank his supporters and clear his name during a strange Facebook video in which he cites a report from to prove FIFA’s generosity.
The “article” states FIFA awarded the United States an impromptu World Cup after the the U.S. handed out corruption arrests to FIFA officials in Zurich last week. Around the 5:00 mark of the video, Warner becomes entirely too woke when he picks up the article printout and says, “If FIFA is so bad, why is it USA wants to keep the FIFA World Cup?”
Now I’m starting to think these people are way too dense to be involved in a corruption plot.
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