ajd Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Red Sox Fan Picking His Nose? Red Sox Fan Picking His Nose.
Going with the same headline formula? Going with the same headline formula. You fuck. It is the end of the day, the end of the week, but not the end of your life, so go rejoice....
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: John Jenkins, Vanderbilt University
Today's nominee is Vanderbilt guard, John Jenkins, and his stunning essay about...meat? Women? Women who don't eat meat? It manages to be both sexist and anthropological and pro-meat....
How Would You Like This Oily, Tan Woman In A Bikini To Flirt With You On Facebook?
Then you should join the Deadspin Facebook group because it gives you the opportunity to converse with like-minded sports culture enthusiasts and you might just meet a fun person to have virtual sexting with. For real. Look....
And In The 7th, Someone Tried To Throw A Chair At Beck And O'Reilly, But It Hit Geraldo In The Nose
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard to aggravate her rabbit phobia." [The Local] (H/T Tom K.)...
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: Tremaine Billie, Clemson University
Mr. Billie AKA "T.Billie" has received multiple nominations thanks to the unfortunate "e-portfolio" he created when he was a student. It's a masterpiece....
Reggie Bush Has Heisman Taken Away From Him Even Though He Didn't Kill His Wife And A Waiter
I've been looking for a way to shamelessly steal that Norm Macdonald joke for years now. Thanks USC! [USA Today]...
Area Man Hits Two Holes In One
His name is Rich Schultz (yellow polo, large grin, Jersey tan), but please don't call him "Two Holes" because that's somewhat suggestive. Odds of him hitting two holes in one during a single round? 26,045,834 to 1. [Allentown Morning Call]...
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY DEVILS
Hence, the prolonged wheel-spinning you may be experiencing. From Gawker Quality Assurance: "It appears that we are under attack again, and are seeing major problems as a result." Just be patient or FUCKING PRAY QUIETLY BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED....
This Is Not Pete Rose's Corked Bat
MLB's all-time hits leader, who's not allowed to step foot into Cooperstown because he's an awful human being, keeps popping up places with his girlfriend — "the Pamela Anderson of Korea" — to show her off to people. [MyFoxNY]...
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"Police responded early Friday to a call of shots fired at a home in Roberts and found a man apparently hallucinating an attack by clowns." [Pioneer Press](via DCarr)...
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: J.J. Redick, Duke University
Although this isn't technically what we're looking for, it's still pretty great to revisit Redick's batch of "poetry" which Sports Illustrated wisely published in earnest. The boy likes to rhyme....
Dwyane Wade's World Trade Center Reference And Other Great Moments In 9/11 Sports Analogies
Dwyane Wade's questionable World Trade Center reference he gave to Fanhouse briefly set off hyper-sensitivity alarms everywhere, but it wasn't even that awful compared to some of the other ones we've seen recently....
David Huff Avenges Alleged Twitter-Induced Indians Snub By Pitching Shutout
Huff claimed his Twitter was hijacked by some phantom, who informed his followers last Friday he would start for the Indians yesterday. Cleveland management, unimpressed by his presumptions, didn't call him up. Angered by the snub, Huff went on topitch masterfully yesterday....
This Cubs Shirt Got These Kids Laid
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Eric, University of Wisconsin-Parkside
From a reader named Mark: This is an essay from a former University of Wisconsin-Parkside wrestler for an intro to writing class....
Mark Chmura, Former Tight End, Lover Of Teenage Hot-Tub Parties, To Be Inducted Into Packer Hall Of Fame
He will be inducted Saturday night: "I had to grow up," said Chmura, who was acquitted in 2001 of child enticement and third-degree sexual assault charges stemming from a high school postprom party he attended in suburban Milwaukee."[WisconsinRapidsTribune]...
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Steve Blake, University Of Maryland
This essay titled "Happy days at Johnny's" was submitted multiple times by Duke fans who claim this ridiculous ode to Johnny Rockets burger joint was penned by former Maryland guard Steve Blake. Embrace the happiness....
Burger King Parking Lot In Oakland Is The Venue For One Of The Most Disturbing Things You'll Ever See (UPDATE)
To sum up: Pantsless, mouthy pregnant ladies fighting. One mouthy pregnant lady getting jumped by two people, then getting knocked out by dude smoking a joint. Old lady then attacks mouthy pregnant lady. Police are...somewhat present? Fin. (NSFW?) [BarStoolSportsJr.]...