ajd Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There Are So Many Ways To Make Your Leg Turn Purple
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....
Twit Wars: The Sports Fella Vs. Mike Dunleavy, Sr.
Simmons is leaving blood on the keyboard because Clippers' coach Mike Dunleavy called him a "joke writer" on Cowherd's radio show. A possible tag-team bout with OchoCinco/Dunleavy vs. Merriman/Sports Fella is forthcoming. Let's make it a strap match. [SportsGuy33]...
Please Help The Stephen A. Heckling Society Of Gentlemen
Sad news: The Stephen A. Heckling Society of Gentlemendid not get tickets to tonight's NBA Draft. If anyone can get these invaluable correspondents into WaMu this evening, please contact me at [email protected] Let the sock roar again....
Once Again, Frank Deford Can't Hide His Horny Old Manliness
Frank Deford has always been infatuated with vivacious young tennis stars, so it's not surprising he'd offer his take on the recent ITF grunt ban considerations with a creepy I'm-typing-this-pantsless approach. SportressofBlogitude gives the porny rundown on Deford's latest column....
Landon Donovan Says Spaniards Were Not Gracious Losers.
Donovan told Dan Patrick this morning that the team didn't do the traditional exchange of jerseys after the United States stunned them. He guesses the team was "frustrated." You think? [DPShow]...
The Sad, Hilarious Tale Of Elvis Grbac, 1998's "Sexiest Athlete Alive"
This is an epically comical story courtesy of SI's Jeff Pearlman, that includes the following absurd characters: Rich Gannon, Elvis Grbac, the Kansas City Chiefs, and a dim-witted People magazine photographer. Prepare to feel life-long sympathy for Grbac....
And It's Erin Calipari To The Rescue Again...
The amusing fake John Calipari Facebook page that was accumulating many gullible Kentucky "friends" at an alarming rate is finished. And only one person could stop this devious fake Calipari from perpetrating anymore dupes upon an unsuspecting Wildcat nation....
A Great White Shark Ate This Man's Hand
I find it amazing how after surfers get attacked by sharks ,some of them jump right back in the ocean and continue the sport with less body parts. But here's another handless Aussie surfer walking through the raindrops....
Phil Mickelson Ruined Mike Lupica's U.S. Open
Many in sports media have seen New York Daily News writer Mike Lupica's arrogant-little-sonuvabitch-side firsthand, but never has there been a Lupica story that encapsulates the tiny prick's hubris than the one Patrick Sauer witnessed during the U.S. Open....
Spaniards. Yankees. Open Thread.(And The US Is Winning... Won?)
YELL-type or blow that South African bugle or whatever it is you do when important soccer matches are on. Please tell me which soccer locales are live blogging this bitch and I'll add them here too. Cross-cum-shot? [ESPN/UnprofessionalFoul]...
Rex Ryan Llits Selttab Aixelsyd
"If you have dyslexia, you can still reach your goals. And understand, it'll be a negative, no question, it's a challenge. But if you overcome it, you can do some great things..." [NYPOST]...
Joey Votto: Not Gay, Just Having Terrible Anxiety Attacks
"The one night I was alone, the very first night I was alone, was when I went to the hospital. I couldn't take it. It just got to the point where I felt I was going to die, really." [Outsports/GraneyAndThePig/MLB.com]...
Lenny Dykstra Lets The World Know He's "Flying Higher"
Here's the portion of Bernard Goldberg's follow-up with Lenny Dykstra from last night's "Real Sports" where The Dude daftly mumbles his way through an interview he appears to have completely forgotten was scheduled....
This Awful Woman Jinxed Them
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Fake John Calipari Is Terrorizing Facebook...And Other Things Of Note
Yes, fake Facebooks/Twitterers are everywhere and the joke is extremely stale, but that won't prevent hundreds of Wildcat rubes from believing a John Calipari impostor is the actual John Calipari engaging them in jovial and revealing conversation. Oh Kentucky....
Kellen Winslow Kindly Requests You Make No More References To Him Being A F*$#ing Soldier
Besides being a talented, but injury-prone tight end, Kellen Winslow is best known for his patriotic tirade against those kamikaze Tennessee Volunteers. But Winslow's less combustible now, so he doesn't appreciate any references to it, even if it's playfully complimentary....
Jay Feely Would Like To Set The Record Straight
"I have never said I believed Obama to be a socialist Muslim. It does bother me he is unwilling to defend America's greatness." [JayFeely]...
The Philadelphia Flyers Need To Stop Boozin' And Coozin', GM Says
Okay, that's not exactly what he said. But Flyers' GM Paul Holmgren does think his young team's nightlife activities may have led to some "fatigue" issues heading into the playoffs....
This Is Outstanding
It's an autotuned version of memorable press conferences. AI's "practice" soliloquy dominates but you'll also find some Kanye'd versions of Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were!" and Mike Gundy's "I'm a man!" looped in. [KSK]...