drew-magary-old Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hitler Makofane Demands You Listen To The Name Of The Year Deadcast
People, there is a huge difference between merely looking at your 2010 Name of the Year ballot, and saying those names out loud. And this special Deadcast will prove it. (Listen here, iTunes here.)...
The Balls Deep Tiger Heckling Challenge!
Augusta National and CBS are going to go out of their way this week to make sure everything is all hunky dory for Tiger Woods. Well, why the fuck should YOU have to cooperate?...
Time For A Lady To Have Her Say. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Who’s Stupid Enough To Fall For A Mark Sanchez April Fool’s Prank? Take A Wild Guess
Remember how I said yesterday that people have become immune to online April Fool's jokes? Well, I should have left STUPID people out of that stance, like Jason McIntyre and the New York Post....
In Which We Declare A Fatwa On All Online April Fooling
It's April Fool's Day today, and we've now reached the point where April Fool's has officially become a web nuisance. "Big news everyone! From now on the funbag will be written by Robert Weintraub!" Yes, hardy fucking har. Everyone realizes it's April Fool's Day right around 9:02AM these days. The r...
Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...
The Five Most Enjoyable Phony Voices To Speak In While Alone
Yes, sometimes I try out foreign accents and voices when alone in the car or the shower. It's how I prepare myself in case I'm plucked from obscurity to play a Bond villain....
Great Moments In Drunken Spring Break Failure!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Spring Break Failure, where we showcase heartwarming true stories of spring break gone horribly awry. Off we go....
How Much Do Your Genitals Weigh? A Half-Assed Funbag Investigation!
I have a TV/Film peeve I'd like abolished from now on. I dunno if Ebert's film glossary has covered this yet, but I would like it added if it has not. I call it the Confession Cocktease....
In Which We Learn That All Dominican Baseball Players Are Gay; Also: Hot Chicks In Cars
Got kids? No? Well, let me tell you one of the delightful side effects of parenting: manic depression. Oh, yes. I am officially fucking bipolar now. When around my child, I go from elated to violently angry at the drop of a hat. And this is because kids always take things too far. One second, you're...
Four Important Things To Know So Your Spring Break Won't Suck
A few weeks ago, I asked you for your very worst Spring Break horror stories. Here is mine....
Golden Shower: Denied! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Jesus, Adderall, Heavy Metal Sex, And Marshmallows
My wife went to pick up my kid from school yesterday. Beforehand, she told me they were going to stay a little extra long to hang out at the playground. I, of course, didn't hear any of that because I was too busy playing in front of 150,000 at Castle Donington in my brain. MASTER! MASTER! MASTER OF...
The Hater’s Guide To The NCAA Tournament
It's tourney time. Time to fill out a bracket based solely on eliminating which teams piss me off the most. Let's have a Deadcast! (Listen here, iTunes here.)...
Ghosts, Dessert Carts, And Cancer Porn
I've been losing weight recently, and one of the joys of losing weight is overemphasizing my own awe at my body's transformation. "Why are my pants so loose? Why am I not sweating in my sleep? I feel stronger. More agile. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY BODY?" I'm not saying I'm becoming Spiderman, but I wou...
Fun With Anal Beads! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Near-Death Experiences, Deodorant, And Eggert’s Shymen
Before we get down to business, I must note that the bottom of this post contains video of the money scene from "Blown Away," which is NSFW, but well worth you risking instant unemployment. Now, to your letters....
Dispatch: "I Jacked It On Camera For Money"
Two days ago, Drew Magary wondered out loud if any of our readers would really do porn if offered. Well, one anonymous reader has. Here is his story....
Snackbots, Astrobating, And Magic Condiment Fingers
I have a question for all the commenters out there: Would you star in a porn film if someone asked you? A real porn film that gets posted on the Internet and everywhere else. You get paid. Like say, two hundred bucks. And you get to have sex with a top tier porn star, like Lisa Ann or someone like t...
Stiffing Captain Lou! The Final A-HOLE BOSS DIGEST
Welcome to our final edition of Asshole Boss Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses, coaches, and teachers you ever had. Off we go....