patrickredford Page 118 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Adrian Peterson Could Be Back In A Month
Adrian Peterson’s career with the Vikings looked like it might have ended when he tore his meniscus in the second game of the season against the Packers. He had surgery two months ago, right after the injury, but even then, the prospects of return in 2016 looked bleak. Minimum recovery time from a “...
NHL Announces Plans To Prevent Fun In The Future
The story that most emphatically broke past the hockey world last year was the unlikely ascent of John Scott from anonymous enforcer on the fringes of the NHL to MVP of the NHL All-Star Game. Fans decided to mobilize and elect a nobody as an all-star captain, and he scored a pair of goals in the gam...
Suicidal Squirrel Takes Down Squirrel-Hating Chicago Politician
Howard Brookins can’t stand squirrels....
The Blazers Are Going Through Some Growing Pains
The Portland Trail Blazers were the unquestioned surprise of the 2015-16 NBA season. Prognosticators had them missing the playoffs in the wake of LaMarcus Aldridge ditching Cascadia for Texas, and ESPN’s season preview said they were “rebuilding.” Terry Stotts had a roster full of untested and misun...
Luke Kuechly Weeps His Way Off The Field After Scary Injury
Panthers star linebacker Luke Kuechly took a nasty head injury in the fourth quarter of tonight’s close game against the Saints. Kuechly had to be carted off and he did not hide his emotions as he was leaving the field. It wasn’t immediately apparent what part of his body exactly Kuechly hurt, but t...
Good Luck Trying To Keep Karl-Anthony Towns From Embarrassing You
Timothé Luwawu-Cabarrot was projected to be an intriguing small forward in the NBA thanks to his smooth athleticism and impressive physical profile. However, in tonight’s game against the Wolves, he merely ended up like an intriguing bug splattered across the windshield after Karl-Anthony Towns dunk...
Houston Is Destroying Fifth-Ranked Louisville Thanks To Some Insane Plays
Louisville came into this evening’s game with Houston with a decent chance of making the playoff. Even if Alabama and Clemson win out, all they had to do was win out and inevitably leapfrog the loser of the Ohio State-Michigan game. Instead, they are in the process of getting turned into jelly by th...
Zach LaVine Pulled Off The Rare Free-Throw Putback Dunk
Zach LaVine has always been an athletic freak capable of jamming it on people and pulling off a wide variety of spectacular dunks. This year, he’s improved his shooting and ballhandling and turned into a very good all-around player for the young Timberwolves. However, he’s also still liable to go of...
Stanford Band Doofuses Still Barred From Cal Rivalry Game
The Stanford marching band has been banned from road games since May 2015 for a “sexual hazing” scandal, but they’ve been allowed to attend bowl games. They made everyone mad at the Rose Bowl last year by being quirky and transgressive enough to make a completely out-of-left-field joke about how muc...
Cobb County Plans To Bulldoze An Entire Neighborhood Next To New Braves Ballpark
The Braves’ new ballpark out in suburban Cobb County was built with $400 million in public money, even though the public had no say in negotiations. The politician who spearheaded the deal got voted out of office this summer, but the park is still scheduled to open next spring. Cobb County may have ...
Devin Booker Saunters Out, Signs Autograph After Extremely Chill Ejection
The Suns were in the closing stages of a road loss to the Nuggets when young Suns shooting guard Devin Booker made an official mad and got himself tossed. Booker then nonchalantly strolled off the court, but not before saying his goodbyes. He then indulged a pair of fans. ...
The Washington Wizards Are In A Bad Place Right Now
The Wizards are playing like a big pile of dog poop this season, and they delivered their most nauseating performance of the year tonight against the Sixers. Philadelphia didn’t even have their talismanic center Joel Embiid, but they shot 54.5 percent against the Wizards tonight and beat them for ju...
That Time Chris Paul Memorized An Eye Chart To Try And Cheat A Vision Test
Chris Paul got eye surgery this summer, a vision-enhancing procedure he needed for some time. It’s hard to believe that one of the best point guards of his generation got by without perfect vision for so long, but he apparently did. Paul’s brother and father got their eyes fixed during Paul’s rookie...
Russell Westbrook Touches The Sky And Ends Clint Capela
All hail Russell Westbrook....
Floyd Mayweather Manages Photo Op In Which He's Not The Biggest Asshole<em></em>
Trump’s gravity for repulsive assholes remains undefeated....
Terrell Suggs Has An All-Time Great Fake Name
Rex “Walt Pulaski” Ryan snuck onto a Bills media call to try and massage some inside info from Julian Edelman earlier this NFL season, and his colleague Terrell “Hacksaw Smithers” Suggs followed suit this afternoon on a call with Dak Prescott. With all due respect to Walt, “Hacksaw Smithers” is in a...
Oregon's Devon Allen Leaves Team To Focus On Professional Track And Field Career
Devon Allen is a receiver for Oregon who was an integral part of the 2014 Marcus Mariota-led squad that finished second in the nation, but he’s perhaps most famous for his star turn at the Rio Olympics, where he finished fifth in the finals of the 110 meter hurdles. Allen has struggled through a pai...
Two Maryland Football Players Charged With Firing BB Guns At Students
Last week, a handful of University of Maryland students complained to campus police that they’d been hit by BB gun pellets on campus. One student was riding his bike when he got sniped, a couple were tagged while walking near Maryland’s football stadium, and another student got hit while walking bet...
Kate Upton On Cy Young Vote: I Thought I Was The Only One Allowed To Fuck Justin Verlander
Red Sox pitcher Rick Porcello won the American League Cy Young award this evening, beating out Tigers ace Justin Verlander despite finishing with six fewer first-place votes. Porcello won the voting 137-132, and two voters did not name Verlander on their ballots at all. Verlander’s fiancée, Kate Upt...
Roddy White Says He "Could've Died" After Scary Encounter With Police Officer
This morning, former Falcons star Roddy White was pulled over for a speeding violation in Dekalb County, Georgia. White, who has been out of the NFL for about a year, says that he was threatened by the officer, who purportedly unclasped his gun and approached White with his hand on it. White says th...