sean-newell Page 142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Cowley: The Best Sexist Around, Nothing's Gonna Ever Keep Him Down
So, Joe Cowley. Hilarious satirist, or serial sexist? We'll try to address that soon, but first, let's discuss why you are watching the final tournament fight scene from The Karate Kid scored to Joe Esposito's "You're The Best Around." It seems Cowley had a signature sign off for those he was thro...

London Olympics To Be Protected By Rooftop Missile Launchers
The British Ministry of Defence recently informed residents of an "upscale apartment development" near Olympic Park that it plans to install a "missile battery" on the development's property....

Report Card: Grading The NFL Draft Grades
It's that time of year, when we assign nebulous indicators of quality to the impossibly difficult to evaluate drafting of NFL talent. We'll look at the some of the best and brightest draft grades and let you know how each organization did in grading the 2012 NFL Draft. We realize that grading the g...

Hello, Friends! A Young Jim Nantz In A Hot Tub With John Stockton And The Utah Jazz
According to the information provided by the YouTube uploader, this interview occurred prior to Utah's decisive Game 5 win over the Houston Rockets in the 1985 NBA Playoffs. It's times like this when it's fun to reflect back to quiet dignity with which Nantz read promo after promo for Lizard Towin...

Sunday Open Thread Smorgasbord
As usual, we've got baseball getting started now and carrying on throughout the afternoon and evening. The NBA and NHL playoffs will follow soon thereafter. Talk, talk, talk below....

<i>Chicago Sun-Times</i> Columnist Joe Cowley Rides A Plane, Degrades Women Everywhere
Ever since Jay Marrioti fell off the face of the planet, the Chicago Sun-Times has been a little light in the abusive-toward-females department. This morning, Joe Cowley (pictured, far right) bravely stepped in to assume the role, in an albeit verbal, yet no less demeaning manner when he took on on...

Yu Darvish Reps Are Going After The "Yu Is My Homeboy" Shirts
Signing an international star is an exciting time for a team, the players and fans. It's also a time to make a shitload of money. One Texas Rangers fan tried to do just that, even getting a hand from catcher Mike Napoli....

David Wells Is Selling The Signed Babe Ruth Yankee Hat He Once Wore In A Game
David Wells says he's not in any financial trouble, he's just tired of keeping track of all the various bits of memorabilia he owns. Among the artifacts he's getting rid of is the signed Babe Ruth Yankee hat he wore in the first inning of a game on June 28, 1997 at the house his hat's previous owne...

Alleged Red Sox Fan Gets Her Face Kicked At Yankee Stadium
Please, sports viewing world, do not judge all Yankee fans by these hooligans with their bootleg name-on-the-back-jerseys, they were just defending themselves from this aggressive alleged Red Sox fan who lost her way. The Yankees may have been listless against the Tigers this afternoon, but these ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Mellow Roll For The Flavor
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Cheers....

Here's Something You Don't See Every Day: Adam Schefter Reports Derrick Rose Is Out For The Year With A Torn ACL
Moments ago, Adam Schefter just interrupted ESPN's wall-to-wall coverage of the NFL Draft and announced that Rose will miss the rest of the playoffs with a torn ACL following that awkward play in the final minutes of Chicago's game today....

New Seattle Seahawk Bobby Wagner Was In The Shitter When He Was Drafted
In one of the more appropriate instances of places to find out you got drafted by the Seattle Seahawks, Utah State linebacker Bobby Wagner learned the news while he was in the bathroom. Wagner was interrupted, but full of joy nonetheless....

Witness The Last Gasp Of Local News Reporting As It Repeatedly Hits On St. Louis Cardinal David Freese
Here is World Series MVP David Freese being subjected to quite possibly the most uncomfortably awkward fluff piece ever. Six Flags has a Mr. Freeze roller coaster and Show Me St. Louis' Julie Tristan decided it would be the perfect excuse to continually hit on the young Cardinal. She even brought i...

Derrick Rose Injured In Final Minutes Of Game 1 Win Over Philadelphia 76ers
For some reason, Derrick Rose was on the court for the Chicago Bulls with a 12-point lead and a little more than a minute left in the series opener against the Sixers. Driving to the basket, he planted awkwardly and almost immediately fell out of midair in pain. Chicago would go on to win the batt...

Michigan Costumed Vigilante Arrested Following Trailer Park Brawl
Where to begin? Let's start with the Michigan Protectors. The self proclaimed "costumed activists" work to set up neighborhood watches and are part of an online community known as "Real Life Super Heroes." Just so we're all on the same page though, these people do not have super powers, despite wha...

May The Dongs Be With You: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Lets jump right into the dongs. Today we begin with Luke Skywalker and his scruffy looking nerfherder dangling between his legs thanks to reader Jeff. As always, be sure to support our dong endeavors and send in any would-be penises to the tips department. ...

Jeff Francoeur Gets 100th Assist Off Ryan "Doormat" Line Drive
We're not sure if someone has got it in for Ryan Doumit over at Yahoo, but as you can see, a typo (??) credits Jeff Francoeur with his 100th assist after doubling up Joe Mauer on "Ryan Doormat's liner to right-center."...

Saturday Open Thread Smorgasbord
The NBA Playoffs start now with the Sixers and Bulls. Baseball, as always, gets going at 1:00 p.m. as well. The Rangers and Capital start the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs at 3:00 p.m. and then we're off like gangbusters. Check in throughout the afternoon, talk about whatever and enjoy t...

Reports: Matt Leinart To Sign With Oakland Raiders
Look out Bay Area, here comes the party (and lifetime 57.6 completion percentage). Friend of the program, Matt Leinart is ready to move on from his backup role in Houston to a new backup role with the Oakland Raiders. According to Adam Schefter, Leinart will sign with the Raiders and immediately be...

Jeremy Guthrie on 15-Day Disabled List Because He Is A Bicycle-Riding Hippie
Jeremy Guthrie, who may have more in common with Arlo than previously thought, will "miss a couple starts" according to Rockies' manager Jim Tracy with some right AC joint pain....