sean-newell Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Best Squirrel-Related Headline Of The Week
The best in at least a week, maybe more. It's just tremendous: "Scunthorpe fans asked not to dress as squirrels for Alan Knill return."...

Charles Barkley Pounding Shots In A "Good Luck, Coach Saban" Shirt
Former Tiger Charles Barkley was spotted out in Auburn last night, prepping for his alma mater's matchup with Alabama in today's Iron Bowl. Here's a relevant paragraph published earlier in the week....

UMaine Would Like To Pretend Jovan Belcher Was Never A Black Bear
The banner below currently hangs at the University of Maine's Alfond Stadium, proudly displaying the names and likenesses of some of UMaine's former players that made it to the NFL. A similar banner has been displayed for several years but according to a reader it was updated this year to remove the...

Gaybashing Abounds: Your Alabama-Auburn <i>GameDay</i> Sign Roundup
The Iron Bowl, Alabama's annual tree-murderer-and-RV showcase kicks off this afternoon and College GameDay is right in the middle of it at Jordan-Hare Stadium. Our first sign is another tribute to the ingenuity of lunkheads and the hapless ESPN producers powerless to stop them. "Jesse Palmer's Queer...

Did Mark Cuban Out Del Harris As The Inventor Of The Spilled-Soda Move?
On Wednesday night, Jason Kidd bought himself an extra timeout against the Lakers when he told Tyshawn Taylor to bump into him, spilling his drink. The Nets were losing 96-94 at that point and had no timeouts. The clean-up, before Jodie Meeks's second foul shot, gave the Nets some extra time to dra...


Ho You Fat: Real Name, Or Realest Name?
Trick question, it's both. Steeve Ho You Fat is the actual name of a person playing basketball in France and it's making us giggle like big, dumb morons....

Gerald Henderson, In The Time Warner Arena, With An Errant Pass
There was only one place Gerald Henderson's wayward pass was landing and the poor lady never saw it coming. She's like one of those mechanical duck's shuffling along a target range game at the carnival and Gerald Henderson is the deadest shot in the county. ...

This Thanksgiving Be Thankful You Are Not An Asshole Truck
How's my driving? the "Swift" truck's rear end quaintly asks. Fuck you. That's how's your driving. Tractor trailers, semis, trucks, whatever you want to call them are the absolute, no-doubt-about-it worst. Traveling Interstate 80 through the entirety of Pennsylvania and this same scene will play out...

RGIII Has To Respond To Dad-In-Locker-Room Weirdness
After Robert Griffin III was hit in the johnce literally and figuratively on Monday Night Football, there was some stupid "controversy" involving his father's presence in the locker room. It was actually pretty crazy. Get this: his dad was in the locker room....

The Secret To Surviving The Holidays (There Isn't One)
This is the hard part for me. The race is over and all I have pushing me is my own determination, which is another way of saying "nothing." It's especially dangerous now, too, that the holidays are coming up, which is so weird when you think about it....

Skip Bayless Is Making Up Shit About The NFL And JFK's Assassination
We all remember where we were and what we were doing when John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Skip Bayless, as is his habit, even remembers things that seemingly didn't actually happen. The First Take embrace debate train rolled through Dealey Plaza on Friday and argued over whether the NFL should ha...

Deadspin Up All Night: Goodbye Windows
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll be around....

Auburn Fans Are Already Lining Up For Next Week's Iron Bowl
The annual Iron Bowl between Auburn and Alabama is next week and these folks decided to use vacation time to drive their homes to a field and have themselves a nice little week-long staycation at the alma mater....

Derrick Rose Tears Medial Meniscus, Out Indefinitely
The Bulls announced that an MRI confirmed Derrick Rose suffered a tear of his right medial meniscus last night against the Blazers. The injury will require surgery and another indefinite absence from the team. According to K.C. Johnson of the Chicago Tribune, Rose is returning to Chicago and will h...

Verne Lundquist Calls Replay As Though It's Live Action
Poor, old Uncle Verne must feel like he's in Groundhog Day. On second-and-four, LSU ran a quick pitch to Jeremy Hill for a loss of two yards. LSU was also penalized for illegal formation. The penalty was declined, setting up a third-and-six. Once everything was settled, CBS showed a replay of the p...

Marc Gasol Keeps The Grizzlies Regular
Here's a fun blurb from Memphis's daily, the Commercial Appeal, attributing a humorous malapoopism to Tony Allen. Marc Gasol has a Grade 2 sprain of his MCL in his left knee and is out indefinitely. This is problematic for the Grizzlies and worse for the Appeal....

Coach Ejected And Suspended For Title Game After Late Hit On His Player
Ensworth (TN) was up 21-12 with two seconds to go in its state semifinal matchup against Brentwood Academy when Brentwood's Derek Barnett—committed to play at Tennessee next year—hit an Ensworth player well out of bounds. It was a clearly cheap and late hit and tempers flared. The referees ended th...

Jameis Winston Accuser's Family Attorney: "This Was A Rape"
On Thursday morning Jameis Winston's attorney, Timothy Jansen, suggested that his client engaged in consensual sex with his accuser. On Friday night, the accuser's family specifically denied that claim. In a statement released to the media, the family's attorney Patricia Carroll was unequivocal: "To...
