tom-ley Page 129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stan Kroenke Will Never Care About You
The thing that always strikes me about people’s reactions to the general fuckery carried out by pro sports owners is the genuine disbelief. You look at some galactically rich piece of puddy asking taxpayers to build him a new stadium and you can’t help but ask, “Is this guy fucking serious?” You see...
Bill Belichick On How He Hurt His Eye: "Great"
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was feeling extra grumpy at this morning’s press conference. He opened with a short statement on the Chandler Jones situation, and then got snippy with reporters who kept asking him about it:...
Mizzou Basketball Agrees To Pretend 2013-14 Season Didn't Happen
The University of Missouri men’s basketball program is the latest sacrifice to be offered at the NCAA’s altar. An internal investigation has revealed that the university violated multiple NCAA bylaws, and the men’s basketball team will have to forfeit an entire season’s worth of wins as a result....
Business A-Rod Lookin' Official As Hell
Yo, who’s that businessman doing work in his finely decorated office? Who’s that dude making money and closing deals? ...
Poker Player Disqualified From Tournament For Peeing At The Table
Professional poker player Antonio Esfandiari was recently disqualified from a tournament and forced to forfeit his $110,000 stack because he tried to pee into a container while sitting at the table. ...
Antonio Cromartie's Penis Is Unstoppable
Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie has fathered 10 children, so it made plenty of sense when he decided to get a vasectomy, because 10 children is plenty of children. Today, we learned that not even a procedure that leaves most couples with a less than 1-percent chance of getting pregnant can stop th...
Jessica Mendoza To Permanently Join ESPN's <i>Sunday Night Baseball</i> Broadcast
Here’s some good news for baseball fans: Former Olympic softball player Jessica Mendoza will remain in the booth for ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts this upcoming season. She will be joined by play-by-play man Dan Shulman and analyst Aaron Boone....
Mozgov Ride Bear
The Cleveland Cavaliers finally figured out that Timofey Mozgov is one of the finest commercial actors in Cleveland, and decided to use his immense talent for their own purposes. So here he is riding a bear....
Gary Bettman Gets Huffy While Defending The Stadium Financing Scam
The Calgary Flames, like so many sports franchises, want Canadian taxpayers to foot the bill for a new stadium complex that would cost about $890 million to build. This morning, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman went on Calgary Eyeopener to discuss the Flames’ proposal, and he didn’t enjoy getting pushe...
The NBA's Plays Of The Night Were A Tribute To David Bowie
The guy who does the voiceover work for NBA.com’s daily highlight packages is a true gem. This morning, he filled his daily highlight package with references to the late, great David Bowie....
Ben Roethlisberger's Shoulder Is All Messed Up
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was a guest on the Cook and Poni sports radio show this morning, and shed a bit more light on what exactly is wrong with his throwing shoulder, which he injured during Saturday’s Wild Card game against the Bengals. ...
Some Theories About Bill Belichick's Mysterious Black Eye
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick showed up to his press conference this morning sporting a shiner above his left eye. He didn’t bother to explain how he got it, so we’ve come up with a few educated guesses....
Deshaun Watson Deserved Better
It’s not right to call any part of Alabama’s 45-40 victory in last night’s national championship game fluky, but there’s no denying that they were carried to the win by precisely the kind of wild, momentum-swinging plays that we usually see buoying an underdog’s chances. ‘Bama was of course the favo...
Crying Knicks Child Is Now A Big Kristaps Porzingis Fan
Remember that little Knicks fan who sobbed like a baby when his team drafted Kristaps Porzingis?...
Damian Lillard Went Nuclear On The Thunder
The Portland Trail Blazers were losing to the Oklahoma City Thunder by a score of 103-95 with just over three minutes left to play last night. The Blazers won the game 115-110, because Damian Lillard lost his mind....
This Poor Vikings Fan Inside The Stadium Thought Blair Walsh's Kick Was Good
What’s worse than watching your team bone itself out of a playoff victory with a missed 27-yard field goal? Celebrating because you thought the kick was good....
This <i>Star Wars</i> Spoiler Is So Audacious, You Can't Be Mad At It
Just so we’re all clear, there’s a big Star Wars: The Force Awakens spoiler down here. Okay? All clear?...
RGIII Cleaned Out His Locker And Left Behind An Overwrought Goodbye Note
Washington’s season-ending loss on Sunday also brought an official end to the Robert Griffin III era. Griffin, who didn’t play a down all season and will surely be cut this offseason, left the team as only he could: with a corny note....
It Will Take So Much Money To Get John Calipari To The NBA, And The Nets Might Have It
The Brooklyn Nets cleaned house yesterday, firing head coach Lionel Hollins and GM Billy King at the same damn time, meaning that it’s once again time to wonder if Kentucky head coach John Calipari will come swooping in to save an NBA franchise. ...
<i>Star Wars</i>-Inspired Patriots Hype Video Doesn't Even Make Sense
Get ready for the “sports highlights mashed up with Star Wars: The Force Awakens” genre to become a ubiquitous internet thing. Let us hope the other entries are better than this one....