Baseball Player Acts Like Soccer Player, Inspires Existential Crises

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

• The Yankees-Rays seesawed first place again; the Twins, Reds, Rangers, and Phillies padded their leads; and the Giants crept closer to the Padres, but we still might have another Rocktober on our hands.

• Speaking of the Yankees, what does Derek Jeter's fake HBP mean besides "people who like Jeter will continue; ditto those who don't?"

• The Heisman Trust is going to let the 2005 trophy remain vacated so everyone can act Solemn and learn a Lesson.

• Speaking of this Heisman kerfuffle, remember when Pete Rozelle signed Heisman-winner-to-be Billy Cannon in November 1959? Those were the good old days.

• Unless there is a miraculous uptick in ticket sales, the good people of San Diego will not be subjected the Chargers-Jaguars game. They'll have to get by with their great weather and the Rams-Raiders match. I hope everyone bought tickets to the air show.

• Brett Favre is such a Team Player that he left the Packers when they wouldn't let him take a paycut so the team could sign Randy Moss.

• In #sobbingblogging news, Tim Thomas' NBA career might be reaching an unfortunate end since he is not returning to the Mavericks this year as his wife remains rather ill.

• The Florida Gator fanbase's obsession with jean shorts has gone on long enough evidently.

• KSK's got a wonderful roundup of NFL Photoshops/memes to get your creative juices flowing this morning.

• Fresh off the uneventful FIBA World Champions, brothers in Turkey returned to their secular, stabbing ways at a soccer game.

• Our pal Charles P. Pierce spits some fire over Chris Matthews and enemy of self-love Christine O'Donnell. Photo via 30fps.

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Goood morning. Game 3 of the WNBA Finals is only 10 hours away, try and remain calm in the interim.