We need to get some health inspectors into MLB, because the league just cannot stop serving up all this fake beef. More often than usual this season, it seems like teams are looking for the smallest of faux pas just to have an excuse to rush onto the field and perform some masculinity.

Tonight, the tofu came from the Nationals and Pirates, when Adam Eaton and Francisco Cervelli pulled off almost a shot-for-shot remake of a Joey Votto and Eric Kratz discussion from last month. Inexplicably, Eaton and Cervelli’s brief jaw session over the strike zone required the entirety of both teams’ dugouts and bullpens to run to the rescue.

Once again, this is all sizzle and no steak.